Saturday, February 28, 2004

The Bush Platform

When asked about various programs his administration has advanced, Bush has his answers at the ready.

WMD's not found in Iraq?
It's because gays want to marry.
Halliburton gouging on government contracts in Iraq?
Gays want to be more like Adam and Eve than Adam and Steve.
Trillion dollar deficits?
Gays wanting equal rights caused the economic turmoil.
Can't find Bin Laden?
Gays are distracting from the search.
Dubya's Mission to Mars plan rejected by public?
Gays would just want to redecorate Mars anyway.
High prescription costs?
Gays' fault.
Social Security in peril?
Gays are aging and taking all the money.
Rampant unemployment?
Gays wanting to marry caused businesses to panic and fail.
Outsourcing American jobs to third world countries?
Gays sent these jobs away by being so damn gay.
Unwanted pregnancies, too many abortions?
Gays cause straight people to want to fuck to prove they aren't gay.
The environment is being ruined?
Gays suck up all the clean air and pollute waters with their fancy colognes and hair care products.

Folks, I have said it before and I am saying it again. Bush wants the country to focus on the gay issue and connect it to his reelection. He wants people to think he'll save them from the plague of turning gay.
He wants the Christian right, the hard-boiled conservatives, the NASCAR set and the rest of dumb America to forget his many fuck-ups and just focus on fear and homophobia.
He can't justify or explain the miserable shape he's put America into, so he's found a topic he's banking on to be so repugnant that the idiot voters of the country will ignore his conniving greed and stupidity.
Mark my words-
His campaign won't be FOR anything, it'll just be centered against gays.
He's using us like adult diapers. We catch all the shit, because to him we are disposable.
If he's reelected, after four more years of financial devastation and war, the morons who fed on his homophobic hate rhetoric and fear tactics will have a hell of a lot more to worry about than the dykes down the street getting married.

Remember the Martin Niemoeller piece:
First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out--
because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out--
because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out--
because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out--
because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me--
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Let them come for the gays first, then one day...

Friday, February 27, 2004

An Astrolgical Look at the Survivor All Stars

My pal Katie sent this to me after someone sent it to her. It's slightly stale because it was written before they dissolved the Soboga Tribe and merged them into the two other tribes. I thought it was sort of interesting. Credit goes to whomever originated it. I edited it a bit for added clarity.


CHAPERA (Red Tribe)

BOOTED: ROB C ~ 10/20/78 ~ LIBRA ~ CARDINAL AIR ~ Year of the HORSE

BOSTON ROB M ~ 12/25/75 ~ CAPRICORN ~ CARDINAL EARTH ~ Year of the RABBIT

TOM ~ 10/30/54 ~ SCORPIO ~ FIXED WATER ~ Year of the HORSE

ALICIA ~ 5/1/68 ~ TAURUS ~ FIXED EARTH ~ Year of the MONKEY

AMBER ~ 8/11/78 ~ LEO ~ FIXED FIRE ~ Year of the HORSE

SUE ~ 8/17/61 ~ LEO ~ FIXED FIRE ~ Year of the OX


TRIBAL COMPOSITION

SUN SIGNS: 1 Capricorn, 1 Taurus, 2 Leo, 1 Libra, 1 Scorpio

ELEMENTS: 2 Fire, 2 Earth, 1 Air, 1 Water

MODES: 4 Fixed, 2 Cardinal, 0 Mutable

CHINESE SIGNS: 3 Horse, 1 Monkey, 1 Ox, 1 Rabbit/Cat


Observations:

Chapera is the tribe that is half and half introvert signs (Earth and Water, Rob M, Alicia, Tom, ) and extroverts (Fire and Air, Amber, Sue, and Rob C).
Chapera notably has FOUR Fixed signs, and two Cardinal movers and shakers--the two Robs. No Mutable/go with the flow players.
Chapera has THREE out of six players born in the Year of the Horse. Horses are charmers who seek love connections; they are keenly aware of their own image and impact on others. Rob C, Amber, and Scorpio Tom make up this libidinous trio.

While the spec is that Rob M. and Amber become a couple, and they may, I can see Rob C going ga-ga over Amber. We would expect this of Rob anyway, but Libra men have a special weekness for Leo women. I know a couple Libra men who never fall for anyone but Leo women. Some end up happy (if it's mutual) and others end up suffering from unrequited love.

In any case, I could see this tribe as the one with the most Eros floating around where the men are concerned, with the focus on Amber. Which is not to say that Saboga's Jerri and Jenna may not be trying to seduce Ethan. But again, Ethan is rumored to leave too quickly.


SABOGA ~(Yellow Tribe- now defunct)

ETHAN ~ 11/12/73 ~ SCORPIO ~ FIXED WATER ~ Year of the OX

BOOTED: RUDY ~ 1/20/28 ~ CAPRICORN/AQUARIUS cusp ~ Rabbit/Cat

RUPERT ~ 1/27/64 ~ AQUARIUS ~ FIXED AIR ~ Year of the DRAGON

JENNA L ~ 7/16/77 ~ CANCER ~ CARDINAL WATER ~ Year of the SNAKE

JERRI ~ 9/5/70 ~ VIRGO ~ MUTABLE EARTH ~ Year of the DOG

BOOTED: TINA ~ 12/26/60 ~ CAPRICORN ~ CARDINAL EARTH ~ Year of the RAT

TRIBAL COMPOSITION

SUN SIGNS: 2 Capricorns, 1 Cancer, 1 Aquarius (2 with Rudy), 1 Cancer, 1
Scorpio

ELEMENTS: 3 Earth, 1 Air, 2 Water, 0 Fire

MODES: 3 Cardinal, 2 Fixed, 1 Mutable

CHINESE SIGNS: 1 each Ox, Rabbit/Cat, Dragon, Snake, Dog, Rat


Observations:

This tribe is heavy with the "introvert/passive" elements of Water and Earth, or emotion and pragmatism. Mixed together, these make mud.

Rupert stands out as the Airy (social) idealist. He is the oddball of this tribe, but the difference he offers may be what is needed to uplift and inspire this group.

Saboga's strength is in practicality and empathy; its weakness is that only Rupert has a strong sense of the good of the group.

Cardinal signs like to get things started: Jenna L., Tina, and Rudy (but Rudy is Fixed too, being on the cusp).

Ethan and Rupert are fixed signs and more likely to get with one plan, probably initiated by someone else, and stay with it.

Jerri the Mutable player has the ability to change with the "flow."

Ethan, Scorpio, is loyal but paranoid and suspicious. Trust, as we recall, is an "issue" with Ethan. As an Ox he bears burdens and provides, is conservative. He has a lot of Scorpion charisma, to which the 3 women of his tribe should all be simpatico, as Cancer, Virgo, and Capricorn all relate well to Scorpio.

Rudy, Capricorn, is an old goat, conservative, out for himself. As an Aquarian cusp, he identifies well with a group (Navy SEALS), so Rudy is complicated. As a Cat/Rabbit he has charm and loyalty, but is somewhat pessimistic and insecure.

Rupert ~ Not only a visionary Aquarian but a Dragon ... this makes him a natural leader, brash, center-of-attention, an initiator, a motivator of the troops. He may be admired for his passion and vision, and resented for his bossy me-me side. Most Dragons don't FEEL bossy or arrogant when they act according to their fiery nature, and are hurt that people see them that way. Dragons are loyal and idealistic and consequently feel betrayed rather easily when others act in their own self interest.

As a Fixed sign, Rupert's strategy suffered previously from a tendency to stick with initial loyalties and not to adapt quickly enough to shifting dynamics. He may have learned better but it still goes against his nature to switch if sticking will work for him.

Jenna, Cancer, is maternal, nurturing, sensitive, humorous, but also dynamic, being a Cardinal sign. She seeks security and money means more to her than to most. As sign of the Snake, she has intelligence on her side. Her weakness would be sensitivity and emotionalism, also moodiness. Cancers tend to change with the Moon.

Jerri, well, we all know Jerri. As a Virgo, she has that tendency to criticize. The sign of the Dog feels responsible to be the watchdog of the group, and to bark when necessary. Dogs are friendly when stroked, but find it too hard not to speak their minds when they have something to say. Both Dogs and Virgos find it nearly impossible to hide their mood when they feel irritable. Dogs are temperamental, loyal, trustworthy, dogmatic, have a hard time trusting, and embrace the cause of the underdog. They have a keen sense of justice and "fairness."

Tina, Capricorn and Rat, has the qualities of charm, quick wits, observation, ambition, and the ability to always keep her own agenda in mind. If she is fated to go out quickly in this game, it's likely out of respect for just how much of an all around threat she could be.


MOGO MOGO ~ Green Tribe

BOOTED: RICH ~ 4/8/61 ~ ARIES ~ CARDINAL FIRE ~ Year of the OX

COLBY ~ 4/1/74 ~ ARIES CARDINAL FIRE ~ Year of the TIGER

LEX ~ 6/18/62 ~ GEMINI ~ MUTABLE AIR ~ Year of the RABBIT (CAT)

BOOTED HERSELF OFF: JENNA M ~ 2/15/81 ~ AQUARIUS ~ FIXED AIR ~ Year of the ROOSTER

SHII ANN ~ 1/24/74 ~ AQUARIUS ~ FIXED AIR ~ Year of the TIGER

KATHY ~ 1/6/55 ~ CAPRICORN ~ CARDINAL EARTH ~ Year of the GOAT (SHEEP)


SUN SIGNS: 1 Capricorn, 2 Aquarius, 2 Aries, 1 Gemini

ELEMENTS: 3 Air, 2 Fire, 1 Earth, 0 Water

MODES: 3 Cardinal, 2 Fixed, 1 Mutable

CHINESE SIGNS: 2 Tiger, 1 Ox, 1 Rabbit/Cat, 1 Rooster, 1 Goat/Sheep


Mogo Mogo is the complement or opposite of the Watery/Earthy Saboga, having five members in the extrovert/outgoing elements of Fire and Air, with Kathy the only Earthy, grounding member.

Maraamu also had a lot of Fire and Air (Sean, Vee, Sarah, Patricia (fire) and Gina (air). They didn't work very well together on the survival/teamwork aspects, to say the least.

Cardinal signs Rich and Colby are the natural leaders here, although Colby has shown he has a sense of when not to be a Chief.

Airy Mutable Gemini Lex has excessive verbal energy, as we know. In Boran, Lex was the extrovert sign in a group with a lot of Water (Tom/Ethan) and Earth (Kim J, Kelly). In this tribe, he may not feel the need to lead because it's a group of extroverts. OTOH, Lex has some very compulsive control-oriented aspects in his chart.

Aquarians Jenna and Shii Ann will be most comfortable finding allies and sticking with them, but Aquarians also have a sense that they are different from everyone (the "different drummer" sign). We already know Jenna M won't be around all that long so we can sort of pass over her I guess.

This tribe has a ton of ego energy. Fire and Water makes Hot Air.

Then there is Kathy who worries about everything. Kathy was also the only Earth sign on Rotu and a misfit there, yet her anxieties helped Rotu (IMHO) get its survival act together.

It will be interesting to see if Kathy, an older-woman Capricorn like Tina, can bond with Colby. Texas-New England may not work as well as Texas-Tennessee though! In S2, Colby got along well with the other Aries males, Nick and Varner, but they were more his age than Rich.

This tribe has two dynamic Tigers, Colby and Shii Ann. Natural leaders, they are also subject to mood swings and bristling sensitivity.

Goat/Sheep Kathy is also hyper-sensitive and insecure, and needs her alone time, as is Rabbit/Cat Lex sensitive and insecure.

In fact the only one who is not visibly hypersensitive would be Richard, the Ox, although the Ox has an inner sense of loneliness, he usually acts very methodically and according to plan. As a fiery Aries, Richard has lots of potential for explosiveness

Another thing about the Ox, as with the Taurus Bull, is that they don't react well to being pushed. "My way or the highway" could be their motto. This applies to Rich, Ethan, and Sue, all Oxen.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

The Pulp Friction Interview:
Sandra Diaz-Twine
Million Dollar Winner, Survivor Pearl Islands

As regular readers know, I am a Survivor fanatic and recently dropped Sandra Diaz-Twine an e-mail congratulating her on her well deserved win. She agreed to answer a few questions for my Blog, and here they are:

Karen Zipdrive:
My Blog readers and I went wild when you won the million bucks, and we expected you to be in the All Star show. Were you invited, and if so, why didn't you go?

Sandra Diaz-Twine:
I was invited but I didn't go because I was sick with parasites, and I didn't know if was from the water not being boiled long enough or from the fish not being cooked thoroughly, and my hair was falling out in clumps.

KZ:
Way to go on not collecting a single vote at tribal council! Do you have any regrets about how you played the game? Would you do anything differently next time?
SDT:
I wouldn't change a thing, only because I won.

KZ:
I have read many interviews you've given about Jonny Fairplay, and it's obvious you thought he was a real jackass. My readers and I couldn't stand him, either. My favorite line of yours was when his grandmother (allegedly) died, you said you "didn't feel that bad because if she raised him, she must be evil." What I want to know is, was he even more gross in person than he was on TV?
SDT:
Jon is awful but I think he made it a point to be extra awful just for the show. But we talk now 'cause everything has been said and done.

KZ:
Lil seemed to us like a whiny, wobbly chinned crybaby who used that scout leader bullshit to make herself look honorable, brave and resourceful. Many times on the show, tribe members said she'd be hard to beat because "everyone liked her." From the looks of it, she annoyed everyone, so did y'all discuss it and plan to fake her out just to let her believe everyone liked her?
SDT:
I honestly believed the others liked Lil because there were times that I would argue with her and cuss her out, yet everyone came to her defense.

KZ:
There's a whole mess of Survivor memorabilia for sale on E-Bay. Did you bring home any souvenirs, like your buff?
SDT:
The only thing I did keep was my black buff.

KZ:
Was Rupert really as cool as he seemed? Are you still tight with Christa and/or Darrah?
SDT:
I'm really close to Christa and have stayed at her home in California on two separate occasions. Darrah and I talk by e-mail, as I do with all the other Survivors. Rupert is really down to earth, and me and him just clicked from the beginning.

KZ:
On the final show when you won the million, girl, you looked HOT. Did you go to a stylist and do the makeover thing, or do you just clean up really good? What about now, are you with a trainer or working out or what? Does your husband Marcus treat you even better, like the Hot Jungle Goddess you proved you were?
SDT:
The hair and makeup for me and the others was done by the same CBS makeup artist who does the hair and makeup for The Price is Right. I still don't exercise, and my hubby treats me the same. Things really haven't changed much for us, with the exception of the money.

KZ:
My readers and I really loved your colossal balls! Did you really call and quit your job from the green room of the Letterman show right before you went on?
SDT:
Yes, it's true-- only because I had so many obligations with Survivor and I didn't want the work piling up for me or someone else.

KZ:
You've been on dozens of shows and met tons of celebrities as the big winner of Survivor Pearl Islands. Who have you met that you thought was totally cool, who made you nervous and who asked you the sharpest questions?
SDT:
Julie Chen and Harry Smith are the nicest people. Hannah and Rene are very delightful, they all are very down to earth and approachable. Letterman made me nervous. Howard Stern was very nice and respectful to me. Regis and Kelly were cool and funny.

KZ:
We know after taxes you bagged about $600,000 in prize money. Did you and Marcus hook up with a good financial planner and invest a good chunk of it so you
could grow the money and stay rich for the long haul?
SDT:
Yup, we've invested the majority of the money.

KZ:
Your daughters, Tatiana, 8, and Alanna, 6, have a mom who kicks ass and takes names. What lessons you learned from being the baddest ass female Survivor
winner in history will you teach your little girls?
SDT:
That's a good question. I guess I'll teach them just to believe in themselves, no matter what other people say. I'll say if you think you can do it, then go for it.

KZ:
My readers and I think you have a lot of stage presence, intelligence, common sense, humor and flair. The public obviously loves you. Do you have any political or show business aspirations?
SDT:
I'm open to anything that comes my way, but so far nothing has come through.


Sandra, thanks for sharing your thoughts with me and the people who read Pulp Friction.
It's been a big thrill for me.
The Gov. Rick Perry Sex Scandal

I can't keep up with all the latest details well enough to summarize them.
Just Google Rick Perry Sex Scandal and get more than an eyeful.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Bush Haiku

I am so angry that prick has come right out and said he's backing a
constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, it's time for some aggressive haiku!

Shame on Barbara Bush
Whelping such hatemonger pups
Kennebunkport bitch

Hey, George, Perry's gay
The guy you picked to govern
Texas, remember?

Votes for sale, call George
Give him money and your votes
Buy an amendment!

The Constitution
Venerated document
Bush wipes his ass with

The Christian right-wing
They're neither Christian nor right
Just judgmental fucks

Wasn't gonna wed
Now they say I can't do it
That makes me want to

How can Bush hate gays
When he gets such pleasure from
sodomizing us?

Attention, sane folks
Let's all vote, eliminate
Terrorist White House
Rod Paige
Another Typical Bush Cabinet Member

From the Associated Press:
"WASHINGTON (Feb. 23) - Education Secretary Rod Paige called the nation's largest teachers union a ''terrorist organization'' Monday, taking on the 2.7-million-member National Education Association early in the presidential election year."

If that's not bad enough, Paige added to his lukewarm apology, "As one who grew up on the receiving end of insensitive remarks, I should have chosen my words better." (Paige is the nation's first black education secretary.)

I don't think Paige was at all sorry he called the NEA terrorists, I think he was sorry he got taken to task because he expressed his radical true beliefs.

This latest gaffe reminds me of another GOP appointed cabinet member, Secretary of Agriculture Earl Butz. He was forced to resign his office after he said, "Black people are only looking for two things: comfortable shoes and a warm place to take a shit."

Whether it's Butz making racist remarks or Paige calling our nation's teachers terrorists, the GOP traditionally show their true colors by the people they appoint to represent us.

As education secretary, Paige should be at least neutral, if not pro-teacher. But he ripped off his own mask and told us what he thinks of those over whose professional fates he reigns.

How many more examples do we need of the Bush administration's utter contempt for the people they govern? Has even one Bush cabinet secretary shown so much as an iota of advocacy for the people who pay their salaries?

Paige called the teachers union a terrorist organization? I'm calling him what he is: another Republican Uncle Tom.
Rod Paige: Just one more reason to oust Bush and his jackass cronies.

Monday, February 23, 2004

An Otherwise Delightful Sunday

After a lovely Saturday night, Eclair and I were taking a leisurely Sunday morning drive to breakfast.
She lives in the suburbs, so I was driving on her somewhat unfamiliar turf, but the traffic was light and the cool, misty weather somehow added to the allure.
At a stoplight, we sat gazing at each other in Saturday night's afterglow.
Just then, a Geo Prism tried to slide past my car on the right hand side, cut it too close and sheared off my passenger side power mirror.
We pulled the driver over and I sensed trouble.
The driver was wearing a pajama shirt and had bed-head that closely resembled Buckwheat's from the Little Rascals.
Saeed Fadlalla had freshly arrived from Sudan, and neither he nor his wife could speak more than a dozen words in English.
"May I see your license, please?" I asked.
"Yip yip, jibber, jibber, Gardendale, yik yik, Saeed, me Fadlalla," he replied.
"No, I need your driver's license and proof of insurance, sir." I replied.
"Yip diddy, yik yik, not my car, dibble gibble, yik clik, " he replied.
After pantomiming for 15 minutes about wanting to see his driver's license and proof of insurance, he finally produced for me two documents.
One was a learner's permit, and the other was proof of expired auto insurance. And the Prism? He'd borrowed that from a friend.
I didn't get much more information from the guy, but he did mention he had 60 kids.
"Sixty kids?" I asked. "
"Yes, 60, yes," he said.
"Do you mean six kids?"
"Yes, 60 kids, yes."
He assured me he'd pay to have the mirror replaced.
I did a little head calculating and figured a replacement power mirror for an Acura would run him just short of the GNP of his homeland Sudan.
I considered calling the cops to make a formal report, then I envisioned some good old Texas redneck cop handcuffing poor Saeed and dragging him off to jail while his wife stood by desperately on the street, yikking for help.
So, I wrote down his useless information, shook his hand, got back in the car and off we went to breakfast. Eclair made such a sweet fuss over my well-being after the wreck, it sort of made the whole thing worthwhile.
I may be out a few hundred bucks replacing that mirror, but Saeed's not in jail, and now he and his wife can resume caring for those 60 kids.
Ralph Nader: Dubya's Little Bitch

Egads. Ralph Nader, who made his bones back in '65 bitching about the Chevy Corvair, is running for president *again*.
Yeah, yeah, the GOP and the Democrats are both shifty parties, filled with special interest crooks and back room deals.
Nader is above all that.
He's also above hot dogs, most cars, fancy hotels, professional haircuts and tailored suits. He's a saint and we're all sinners.
But a serious presidential candidate he is not.
A vote for Nader is a vote for Bush, because Nader supporters would most likely vote Democrat if he wasn't in the mix.
Had he not stuck his schnozzola into the last presidential election, the Supreme Court would have had a harder time handing Dubya the election victory.
Rumors have it the GOP is paying for Nader ads to run in key Democratic strongholds.
Whhhaat? The GOP would pay for a non GOP candidate's ads?
Yes, because they realize we Democrats also have our share of lemmings who can be led astray by the right sort of manipulation.
All I am saying is this.
Vote however you want, but don't hand us any malarkey about voting for Nader because the other two candidates are cut from the same stained cloth.
A Nader vote is a vote against the Democratic nominee, and for Bush.
Don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise.

Saturday, February 21, 2004

Maybe Not Outside Texas but...

You non-Texans are missing out on a rare delight.
The idea that our governor might be gay on the sly has caused an Internet/e-mail landslide!
Here are some handy links to tittilate and delight every curious Democrat who delights in seeing the GOP's dirty laundry flapping in the wind.
Burnt Orange Report
Magnifisyncopathological

Now, if Molly Ivins could just get her hands on this...

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Banana Fanna Foe Fairy

I am not a Republican, so I am not as likely to spread unconfirmed rumors designed to eviscerate politicians I loathe, however...sometimes a gal's gotta make an exception.
Recently I have received a glut of e-mail from all over Texas, alleging that Texas Governor Rick Perry, hand selected by Dubya to succeed him, is in a divorce battle royale with his wife, Anita.
Allegations are that, not only is neo-conservative Republican Gov. Perry having a wild, passionate, juicy extramarital affair, the affair is with (drumroll) A MAN.
Not only is his alleged lover a man, the man is allegedly Texas Secretary of State Geoffrey S. Conner.
Rumor has it the Gov. has been cooling his Gucci's in an Austin hotel for the last three weeks after Anita threw him out of the Governor's Mansion. In fairness to the Governess- ooops- I mean Governor, the story has only been circulated by about a million online Texans, so it could be false. I mean, why would a neo-con Republican come out against homosexual rights when he's porking the decidedly swishy secretary of state? Wouldn't that represent the vilest sort of hypocrisy and reflect dangerous, internalized homophobia rivaled only by J. Edgar Hoover?
Damn right it would.
While these are only allegations at this point, I must say the only time I have met the Governor was at a Human Rights Campaign Fund Gala, which is about as gay as you can get in public without being under a mirrored disco ball with a margarita in your hand.
If he is gay and his neo con GOP cronies condemn and exile him, would he be accepted in mainstream Democratic Texas gay society? Probably. I mean, we queers accepted icky Richard Hatch and horrid Sandra Bernhardt, why not Rick the Prick?
I don't envy him if the story proves to be true.
Anytime a politician's private life falls into direct opposition with his
public views and legislative efforts in such a controversial manner it's career suicide. Or in this case, maybe homicide is the better word. But the good news is, this could be just one more example of the fraudulent GOP and the kind of immoral hypocrisy they practice, without conscience, to get votes.
And Bush did hand-select him to rule the great, he-man state of Texas.

:D
Survivor Tonight!

Pearl Islands winner Sandra Diaz-Twine was on the CBS Early Show this morning, along with Thailand winner used car sleazeball Brian Heidik, to handicap tonight's round of Survivor.
Last week, past winner Jenna M. left the show voluntarily because she had a hunch her mother's cancer had worsened. Sure enough, her mom died a few days after she got home, so let's hear it for Jenna's psychic clarity.
With no immunity challenge or tribal council, everyone got a breather as the SloMo Faggo tribe lost Jenna as a member. That leaves only Shii Ann and Kathy as the only hens in the rooster house, unless you count Richard Hatch.
Poor Rupert. During the shelter building challenge he spearheaded the subterranean design that showed us Indiana boys don't spend a lot of time at the beach. Yeah, Rupert, when I'm at the beach I like to dig a hole and sleep in it so I can awaken buried in heavy, wet sand.
In tonight's show, a huge storm will be messing up the Survivors' last shred of serenity. That means we get to see some psychiatric problems! Yay!
Meanwhile, Boston Rob and Amber are getting hot for each other. We get to see some night vision camera action, with them spooning and Rob showing an almost lesbianesque, slow handed approach to Amber's head and neck. I don't blame
Rob- Amber is muy caliente!
Anyway, Sandra picked Boston Rob to win and Brian picked Shii Ann.
Shii Ann? Is he crazy?
I think Sandra called it about right.
Who'll do I think'll get the boot tonight?
Chapped Ass-a Tribe:
Bye, Sue.
Slo-Mo Faggo Tribe:
Adieu, Richard.
Sorebooger Tribe:
Jerri's gotta go.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

What's Troubling Poor Georgie Bush?

"WASHINGTON (Feb. 18) - President Bush said Wednesday he was troubled by gay weddings in San Francisco and by legal decisions in Massachusetts that could clear the way for same-sex marriage."

He's not troubled by a budget deficit more than $500 billion.
He's not troubled by rampant pollution caused by his corporate campaign contributors.
He's not troubled by lying about WMD's and dragging us into war.
He's not troubled about Halliburton's no bid/no ceiling contracts and their price gouging.
He's not troubled that our troops are spread too thin in a senseless war with Iraq.
He's not troubled by millions of Americans without health insurance.
He's not troubled about global warming.
He's not troubled about millions of unemployed Americans.
He's not troubled by the outsourcing of American jobs to third world countries.
He's not troubled about top Enron executives getting off scot-free.
He's not troubled about finding Bin Laden.
He's not troubled about slashing educational funding.

But he's troubled about gays wanting to enter into a state of matrimony.
F_CK BUSH. All that's missing is U.
Blog Side Salad

Damn, while I was writing a long, meaty Blog I paused to verify a statement I was making and AOL booted me.
So, I will recap.
1. Be sure and watch Survivor Pearl Islands winner Sandra Diaz-Twine on the CBS early show tomorrow morning.
2. Bush is apparently keeping Cheney as his VP.
Good. Why change Dicks in the middle of a screw? We know he's a crook and we know what to do.
3. Bush handlers can't spin his abysmal military reserve record into anything plausible. The story won't go away. Good.
4. The L Word is getting silly, with only one good story line remaining, which also is wearing thin. That online liar who impersonated Linda Evans and her whole damn family to me last year should write for The L Word. His plots were better.
5. John Kerry needs to name John Edwards as his running mate.
6. My best friend Anna's been in Ethiopia all month. She'll be home Monday. Yay! I want her to meet my affair Eclair.
7. Yesterday was sunny and 75ยบ here. Winter is over in South Texas. Life is good.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Why I Live in San Antonio

Devaun Kite, a friend of mine here in San Antonio, has departed from her role as an uber accountant and embraced her true passion, photography.
She sent me a link to her new webpage and I just had to share it with you.
Dee's photos
Most of the shots were taken here in town, but she gets around, so there are other lovely locales featured as well.
Her photos are for sale and the prices are very reasonable, for you collectors out there.

One of the things about San Antonio I love is the dual culture, and the way every Anglo resident has learned to be a little bit Hispanic, and vice versa.
Dee has captured a lot of that mood, along with the saturated colors and the beauty of this town.
Check it out, tell me what you think.

Monday, February 16, 2004

Valentine's Day and Beyond

Eclair wears this Dior cologne called Hypnotic Poison, with top notes of almond and jasmine, middle notes of moss and sandalwood and a base of vanilla, musk and cedar.
The poor dear nearly had to Chapstick her neck from all the snarfing I was doing.
I hadn't been to her house until Saturday, but I was pleased to find her color sense and taste were good, her linens were soft and the whole place smelled really sensational.
Sliding into her bed that night felt great. It smelled like a little Eclair cocoon and I nestled in with instant, relaxed familiarity.
She has two kitties. They didn't automatically accept me, but they didn't bite or scratch me, so I'd say that went as well as can be expected.
Spencer the boy cat has no tail, not even a nubbin. He has a rather substantial ass though, and lots of fur that makes him look like he has on giant pants.
Chase the girl Calico kitty slept with us. She's got blonde eyebrows over a dark face so you can always tell how she's feeling, which is usually somewhat peeved for whatever vague reasons.
As part of Eclair's V-Day gift, I wanted to give her a couple of rose bushes instead of a tired cliche bouquet of womantic wed woses.
So Sunday, after she made me breakfast (pause now to feel the envy of having a pretty woman with nice legs in a shorty robe, scrambling eggs) we went to the nearby nursery to rose shop.
I was about to hoist an extra large bag of potting soil into the cart when this big, gravel voiced, bull dyke clerk stopped eyeing my Eclair long enough to ask if I needed any help with it.
I was appalled, gave her a defiant no and effortlessly wafted the bag into the cart as though it were a lunchbox-sized bag of baked Lays.
I was upset the weather called for long sleeves and prevented me from flashing my now-formidable biceps and triceps at the big, freakishly manly galoot.
Then the big dumb butch hovered around us as we eyed the potted flowers. To deter her testosterone laden, hulking presence, I used a few terms of endearment with Eclair and switched all my pronouns to us, ours and we, all the while glaring at Big Mister Girl.
Apparently Big Manly Girl's partner, Homely Girly Girl, worked the checkout stand.
As I produced from my bag a ball point pen with a logo for some anti-psychotic medicine on it, she immediately spotted the logo and started to paw at my arm with laughter.
Eclair said not too quietly under her breath, "Why the fuck is she pawing you? What do I have to do, pee on your leg?"
So E. started fussing over me like girly women do to establish territory, you know, picking invisible lint off my collar and sort of bumping herself into me, and staying.
We escaped the little shop of predatory lesbian horrors to the parking lot, where we found ourselves surrounded by huge, muddy SUV's with pride flag decals all over them.
Then as E. was returning the cart, a person of dubious gender approached her and asked her something. I thought it was yet another bulldagger, so I puffed up like an adder, ready to strike. Whew! When I learned it was just a pudgy, girly man, I was spared the task of having to go up and wedge myself between them.
New couples must give off some kind of engaging hormonal scent. Everywhere we go it seems people are *unusually* friendly, standing too close and talking too much.
But here's a new thing- when we enter a restaurant or store, people talk to her first instead of me.
I am always the one hostesses or clerks talk to first, but with Eclair they talk to her like she's the (gasp) leader. I think it may be her hair. She's tall and has a wild mane of long, blonde hair and I think it must make her look like the Alpha dog.
I guess I'd better practice standing off to the side, smiling goofily and looking lucky.

Meanwhile, taping the marathon L Word on Showtime in absentia didn't work out. My friend Cris masterfully programmed the machine to tape it all, but just before she arrived I labored over setting the VCR clock and sort of forgot the fine distinction between a.m. and p.m.
Between the two of us, we managed to tape an obscure Alfre Woodard movie and some other direct-to-video movie I didn't recognize.
That stupid machine. I know they intentionally make programming them complicated to embarrass Beta dogs like me.

Saturday, February 14, 2004

Lt. 1 GW Bush: Draft Dodger, AWOL Reservist, Fraud
...But don't take my word for it

That Calhoun guy who said he knew Bush while he was on duty in the Alabama National Guard lied. The times he claimed he saw Bush on duty were debunked by an absence of pay slips or sign-in documents. Uh oh.
Wait.
Why am I bothering with this?
It's so obvious Camp Bush is lying, because sources are popping up all over debunking his so-called military record. You don't need me to debunk it for you. Just click on any mainstream newscast but Fox and you'll get the whole story. Let me just add one obscure nugget to the fire.
That pampered little coward was training to fly--on a plane that was simultaneously being phased out in Viet Nam. Even if he had been called into active duty, he wouldn't have been flying missions.

John Kerry got medals for fighting in the war. He has a legitimate, verifiable service record as a war hero. He understands war, and the need to avoid it if possible in today's insane, hate-filled world.

For the Bush clowns to have the balls to try to foist Dubya's spotty reserve record on us as legit and honorable while at the same time trying to link Kerry with Jane Fonda shows us they will stop at nothing to get Dubya a second term.

Meanwhile, there's a new site called Dear Mary where you can write a letter to Mary Cheney and ask her why she calls herself a lesbian activist while she sits passively while her father Dick speaks out against gay and lesbian civil rights and supports an amendment that discriminates against us.
Drop her a Valentine.

Friday, February 13, 2004

So Many Topics, So Little Time

- Yesterday, newly elected Mayor of San Francisco Gavin Newsome hauled off and authorized the issuing of 95 marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples.
Especially touching was the marriage between longtime lesbian activists Phyllis Lyon, 79, and Del Martin, 83 , who had been together as a couple 51 years.
When I was a baby dyke, Lyon and Martin's political activism and their foundation of the lesbian organization Daughters of Bilitis helped me to accept myself and find my voice as a lesbian. Mazel tov, ladies, and thanks for giving me my lesbian backbone.
Message boards about the gay marriage issue on AOL reflect some frighteningly ignorant and hate-filled opinions. I believe it helps to illustrate why we need legislation to ensure our equality, much like blacks did during the civil rights movement in the 60's. Letting people vote on it isn't going to work any better than it would have during the civil rights movement, when blacks had to endure that "separate but equal" bullshit.
Fomenting further homophobia and hatred by endorsing a constitutional amendment against us is one more reason to oust that fucking idiot George W. Bush.

- I was thinking about the Bush White House this morning, and I realized that I couldn't recall any president in recent history whose cabinet members are so well known to the public. When a president is as weak and malleable to the will of his handlers (aka his cabinet) it's only natural their voices are so shrill and constant in the news.
Rumsfeld is as evil as any Simpson's character. Ashcroft is busting athletic trainers for distributing steroids, as if he has nothing more pressing to attend to, and Cheney acts like the Wizard of Oz, lurking behind the curtain. Then there's Karl Rove. When has an advisor ever been so publicly known? Even James Carville faded into the woodwork once Bill Clinton was elected. Condaleezza Rice is a sellout and a disgrace to women and blacks. And poor Colin Powell, it's so obvious he backed the wrong horse when he joined the Bush Mafia. His dejected facial expression tells the whole story.
Folks, we have to overcome the enormous Bush war che$t and spread the word via the Internet and in our day-to-day lives that Bush and his criminal band of
liars have to be ousted.
They have the money to come at us in every conceivable advertising medium and through despicable tricks like trying to link Senator Kerry with Jane Fonda.
Fonda came out and totally debunked the ham-handed attempt to cast Kerry as a Vietcong sympathizer. Fact is, Kerry served his country with honor, and if he
returned from Vietnam against the war, he earned the fucking right to voice his opposition.
I hated that war. The more I find Kerry hated it too, the more I like him.

- Bush has fucked up: the economy, America's global image, the environment, national security, employment numbers, exporting jobs to India and other third world countries, gay rights, immigration laws, privacy, freedom of speech and presidential accountability.
He's done something to virtually offend every one of us.

- Bush and his military record. That sanitized, mega redacted military record of that draft dodging alkie is bullshit. Payroll slips and dental records don't prove a goddam thing. NOBODY in the Alabama National Guard can be located who knew him. NOBODY. Ask yourself if you had any buddies in the military. Fuck yes, you did. That liar Bush can't name a soul, and a party animal like he was would have had reservist friends back then who could vouch for him today, BUT HE DOESN'T.
On the Sopranos, we have learned about no-show jobs, where gangsters are put on the payroll of construction or other companies to give the illusion of legitimacy. Cest le Bush!

- Fat, dead Dr. Atkins. That high pro/high fat diet is not healthy. Carbohydrates regulate energy and glucose levels, and we need them. Grains and other
complex carbohydrates are at the base of the food pyramid for a reason. Atkins died of heart disease as a fat man. 'Nuff said.
Here is my weight loss plan: eat less crap, move around more. Period.

- Barbie, Ken and Blaine. For God's sake, they are dolls. After this long, Barbie dumps Ken for Blaine? THEY ARE DOLLS. They don't even have genitals. It's just dumb and Mattel executives should be slapped. I am surprised the Christian right-wing fundamentalist wingnuts haven't flipped out about this. I mean, they stick their noses into my business, why not stick them into Barbie's dream house? Maybe that idiot Bush can propose an amendment making 12" fashion doll breakups illegal. Or wait- this sounds like a great new gig for that nitpicker Ashcroft!

- Friday the 13th. I always come into money on Friday the 13th. Yay!

- Valentine's Day. Eclair and I have plans to spend the evening together, but the exact plans are sort of wobbling around. We've both seen most of the L Word episodes so I may just tape them without sitting through them again. I was planning to cook, but now I am leaning toward taking her out to dinner.
What we do doesn't matter. What matters is how cool it is to have a brand new, pretty, sparkly eyed Valentine who doesn't like drama and does like to laugh. I hope everyone has as much fun as we intend to have tomorrow!

Thursday, February 12, 2004

Sandra Says Hi

I stumbled upon the e-mail address of Sandra Diaz-Twine, one of the few deserving Survivor winners, so I wrote her the following note:

Hey Sandra,
I write a Blog (http://PulpFriction.blogspot.com) that has weekly Survivor updates that a lot of people read and comment on.
We were all for you and glad you won the big bucks!
Come by if you're ever in San Antonio and I'll take you and yours out for Tex Mex food.
Loved your column in the Seattle paper.
If you have time, could you send my readers a hello? They'd love it.
Best regards,
Karen in San Antonio

Hours later, I got this:

karen, thanks for all the luv and if i am ever in the area i would love to eat some tex mex so i will hold you to your word....to your readers "hey everybody what's up?"
...sincerely sandra

Okay, she's now my all time favorite Survivor millionaire. I am all verklemft.
Survivor Tonight!

Let's review the tribes:
CHAPERA TRIBE: Amber Brkich (Australian Outback), "Big Tom Buchanan" (Africa), Alicia Calaway (Outback), Rob Cesternino (Amazon), Susan Hawk (Borneo) and
Rob Mariano (Marquesas).

SABOGA TRIBE: Rudy Boesch VOTED OUT, Rupert Boneham (Pearl Islands), Jenna Lewis (Pulau Tiga), Jerri Manthey (Outback), Tina Wesson VOTED OUT and Ethan
Zohn (Africa winner).

MOGO MOGO TRIBE: Colby Donaldson (Outback), Richard Hatch (Borneo winner), Shii Ann Huang (Thailand), Jenna Morasca (Amazon winner), Lex van den Berghe
(Africa) and Kathy Vavrick-O'Brien (Marquesas).

-If Chapera loses immunity, Susan might face the ax because she's the biggest bitch and isn't a team player, though she does okay in competitions. Keep an eye on Boston Rob and Amber, I think Rob's got a big Boston boner for her.
-If Saboga loses AGAIN, it'll be bye bye Jerri because Ethan is an asset and Jerri is a yapper whose reputation precedes her. She's faking that sweet act, but like a sugar coated lemon, we all know the juice inside is sour and that won't ever change.
-Mogo Mogo tribe was too stupid to make fire with a flint. There are many, many people to wish would get voted out, but if they lose, watch for Richard Hatch to get the well-deserved ax. Rumor has it he's pestered by a shark, but the shark probably saw who it was and deferred eating him out of professional courtesy.

As for the locked box containing rice, if I'd been out there this long without much food, I'd machete that box open and blame it on starvational insanity.
Your picks?

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

The Trouble With Relationships

I have trouble with relationships because all this time I've called them relationships, which means a potential future, rules and expectations a go go.
Today when my new -uh- whatever- played hooky from work and we indulged in a day of merrymaking, we decided what we had going was an affair.
Not a relationship, an affair.
An affair implies delectable sexual trysts, romance, mystery and excitement.
A relationship implies chores, obligations, excess nurturing vs hot monkey sex, having to deal with her friends and family, and basically a lot of crap I am no good at.
We snuck off to a movie matinee today, to see "21 Grams."
Don't see it, it's dreadful. It's among the worst movies in history, in fact.
We left early, went back to my house and continued the affair until I had to leave for the gym.
Today, I bench pressed 100 pounds for the first time.
It's because I am having an affair.
In a relationship, you can let yourself go because couples watch a lot of TV and eat snacks together.
In an affair, you have to stay in shape because you are naked a lot, having sex.
I can bench press 100 pounds and I'm having an affair.
Life is good.
Sit on a Happy Face

I am loving Showtime's "The L Word."
The story line between Jenny and Marina is so torrid, it has my male cats Bart and James sportin' wood and meowing funny.
On Valentine's evening, Showtime is having an L Word marathon, with back to back episodes starting around 7 p.m. (cst). Word on the street is every lesbian in the country will be glued to the tube that night, leaving the restaurants to the straight folks and gay boys.
If the conservative, fundamentalist, Jesus misquoting busybodies could experience the thrill of good old fashioned juicy hot lesbian sex, I believe they'd shut the hell up and mind their own business.
Somehow, the threat against our lesbo licking freedom has brought out the bawdy queer in me.
In fact, I plan to be even more queer now, with far more public displays of affection, more political homoactivism and lots more hot jungle monkey lesbo sex.
I may even Blog some lesbian erotic fiction, if there's any demand for it.
Hell, I may become the wKen of lesbos. Yeah, wKaren, that's the ticket.
Anyway, I urge all lesboamericans to get out there and sex each other up.
Recruit some bi-curious women! Seduce a few straight chicks!
We all need new toaster ovens*, so I say let's get out there, horrify the right and have lots of multiple orgasms while we're at it!
Let's put the bush topic back where it belongs!
Lesbian readers! Comment, be counted and remember our rallying cries:

TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT
HOW DO YOU KNOW YOUR WIFE IS STRAIGHT?

TWO BITES, FOUR BITES, SIX BITES, A BLISTER
WE DON'T WANT YOU, BROTHER, WE WANT YOUR SISTER!


*Legend has it, for each straight girl we seduce and convert, we are awarded a toaster oven by the International Lesbian Federation.

Monday, February 09, 2004

Examples of How George W. Bush is a Lying Turd

Oh, don't take my word for it.
Robyn linked a fantastic site to her Blog and I just have to help spread the word.
Bush lies and gets caught, over and over

Saturday, February 07, 2004

And the Winner is...

The votes are in on my DNC donation sweepstakes.
The unanimous winner is Grey Bird, who won a deluxe, trashy lesbian pulp fiction paperback from my private collection.
Thanks to everyone who donated to the DNC or Democrat candidates.
I urge everyone to find some way to help oust Bush and get a Democrat elected so our nation can start to clean up the wreckage he's caused in virtually every arena.
I plan to sponsor future contests, so be sure to save your shekels and donate to the Democrats so you can register to win semi-fabulous prizes!

Friday, February 06, 2004

Shock and Awe

So many things to report today...

First, please stampede over to Melly's Blog and wish her a happy 25th birthday.
I am in charge of taking her out for dinner and getting her drunk tonight.

Second, I wrote to my political nemesis Barcodie and chastised him for removing his comments box and contact addy on his right-wing, Bush lovin' Blog. No reply. I guess he's seen that his years of Bush boot licking has started to portray him in a clownish light. Watching nothing but Fox News has apparently come back to bite him on the ass. But I take no pride in being right and him being totally wrong. Wait. Yes I do.

Third, I am smitten with a new kitten. Not a furry feline, I mean a woman. Didn't plan it, wasn't looking, and there she was. The L Words in this case stand for local, lesbian, left-wing, lovely, lanky, luminous, literate and luscious.

Thursday, February 05, 2004

Survivor Tonight!

With three tribes competing, I don't see how they'll be able to cover much beyond the reward and immunity challenges. I am already fretting that we might not get to see much in the way of delicious personal interaction within the three tribes.
CBS should have made the All Star Series a 90-minute show, but then CBS has been proving to us lately it's run by conservatives who do what they want, when they want, with little regard for the viewers.
Anyway, I predict the trend of voting off the million dollar winners first will continue, unless Jenna's mother actually does die, then look to her to leave voluntarily.
You'd think with her winning a million already and her mother's health being a concern during the show she was in, she'd skip this one. But then she's Jenna, and as you may recall, she was a bit of a slimeball in the series she won.
Who's your pick tonight?

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Wednesday's Child Is Full of Woe

Yep, it's the annual newspaper judging contest.
Today I will slog through about 500 newspaper articles and select the best from each category.
Editorials are my favorite. Pro-Bush pieces receive my automatic liberal media bias deduction of 20 points. Anti-Bush pieces get 20 points added, plus I don't take off for spelling, infinitive splitting or participle dangling.
I am heading to the site with what seems to be a slight muscle strain in my right wrist. I was lifting a trapeze-like bar attached to weights at Willie's House of Pain on Monday and I felt a little sproing.
It's not carpal tunnel syndrome--that's too much of a cliche for a writer. Okay, same symptoms, but I prefer to think of it as a workout injury. It just sounds better.
I hate leaving my home office today. I am expecting a shipment of shoes I bought online, and for me that's like a crack whore waiting for her dealer to stop by with some rock.
Woe is me.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

A Democratic Approach to the Contest Winner

As promised, I have entered the names of those who contributed to the Democratic National Committee in a drawing to win a lesbian pulp fiction novel from my personal collection.
The entrants are:
Grey Bird, Mileah, Kate and Robyn.
I want my readers to help me select the winner, rather than me just pulling the winning name from a hat.
Send your vote to karenzipdrive@aol.com by midnight (cst) Thursday.
The winner will be announced here on Friday or Saturday.
Thanks to all who contributed.

NY Times Headlines

Every morning I get an e-mail with today's headlines from the NY Times. This morning, all the Blog fodder I needed was there, almost in sequential order.

1. Bush Bets America Agrees With His Fiscal Priorities
By ELISABETH BUMILLER
"The president is betting that voters will care far more about protecting the nation than about cuts to popular programs."
I say: If he were protecting the nation, maybe. But getting us into a war, not finding Bin Laden, and spending half the security budget lining Halliburton's pockets isn't protecting anyone but his cronies. Popular programs are popular for a reason, idiot. Cutting them won't be popular.

2. Army Study of Iraq War Details a 'Morass' of Supply Shortages
By ERIC SCHMITT
"Logistics problems, which senior Army officials played down at the time, were much worse than have been previously reported."
I say: Going to war with Iraq wasn't about logistics or planning. It was about Bush creating fast profits for the U.S. military industrial complex who lined his pockets, with no regard for facts. Iraq was not allied with Bin Laden and they did not pose an imminent threat to us. He lied to get us there now he's lying about protecting us.
Bush has shown utter disregard for the consequences of all his decisions, to the tune of a $560 billion deficit, and counting. We need protection, all right, protection from HIM.

3. Companies Limit Health Coverage of Many Retirees
By MILT FREUDENHEIM
"In the past two years, many big employers have unleashed a new wave of cutbacks in company-paid health benefits for retirees."
I say: With baby boomers facing the medical consequences of aging, THIS ISSUE should be a top priority for Bush. It isn't. He couldn't even hazard an accurate guess on what his Medicare plans would cost. Why? Because he obviously doesn't care, and nobody's forcing him to be accountable.

4. "This is not a time for on the job training in the White House for national security issues."
- SENATOR JOHN KERRY
I say: Amen.

Folks, Bush has never actually had a job he wasn't handed.
He's never had to balance a budget, he's never seen anything to completion, not even his Viet Nam-avoiding stint in the Texas Air National Guard. He's been using 9/11 and fear tactics to screw us out of basics no president has ever rivaled. He's dishonest, he passes the buck, he allows Dick Cheney to rule in seclusion so he doesn't have to face inquiries as to his Halliburton schemes to defraud the taxpayers, he's smug, he's dumb and he's evil.
This is a spoiled, dry drunk, frat boy with no allegiance to anyone but the rich. The same rich people have enabled him to sail through his life, without accountability or remorse.

Name ONE program he's initiated that has helped you as an American taxpayer.
Go on, I dare you.

Monday, February 02, 2004

Survivor All Stars: The Premier

The All Star Edition of Survivor, which premiered after the never ending Super Bore last night, ended with Tina Wesson getting the boot. She was the big winner from Survivor Australia in 2001.
My guests and I were so fatigued from channel surfing around that silly six hour football game, Survivor itself was a bit of a blur.
Speaking of the Super Bowl, MTV produced the half-time show, with thuggertainers like Nelly singing, "Hot in Herre," with lyrics including: "I was like, good gracious, ass bodacious Flirtatious, tryin' to show faces Lookin for the right time to shoot my seed (you know)"
Then Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson's tit.
CBS could show all that, but couldn't air the MoveOn.org ad about Bush or the PETA ad because they don't like to air controversial messages.
I'd rather have seen the banned ads than watch Nelly fondling his dick while singing about seed shooting. CBS: bite me.
Back to Survivor.
Ousting Tina tells me the million dollar winners will face the ax first.
Richard Hatch, the million dollar winning exhibitionist gay man who drops trou at the slightest provocation, will be among the first voted out of his tribe. He gives gay men a bad name with that scrotum waving arrogance, but he did call Colby "honey," which I sort of liked.
Here's a list of all the tribe members, listed in order of who I think will be booted off first:

Mogo Mogo (Green) Tribe:
Jenna Morasca (former winner, I heard she will leave early because her Mom dies)
Richard Hatch
Lex Van Den Burghe (looks even more insane now)
Kathy Vavrick-O'Brien
Colby Donaldson<--I love this guy in those Shick Quatro ads- he's so handsome!!!
ShiiAnn Huang

Saboga (Blue) Tribe:
Tina Wesson (she's already outta there)
Ethan Zohn
Jerri Manthey the whore
Rudy Boesch the old geezer
Jenna Lewis
Rupert Boneham<- I hope he wins it all

Chapera (Red) Tribe:
Sue Hawk the truck driver
Rob Cesternino the goofy guy
Tom Buchanan the Pig Farmer
Alicia Calaway (I want a body like hers)
Amber Brkich
Rob Mariano

Your picks?

Sunday, February 01, 2004

Nobel Peace Prize, My Ass

Dubya and his British mistress Tony Blair have been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.
Let me get this straight.
They start a war based on lies and they get a peace prize?
The world has gone insane.
However, one bright star twinkles in this vast expanse of darkness.
In an AOL poll, members were asked:
Do you agree that President Bush and Prime Minister Blair are good Nobel Peace Prize nominees?
And they voted:
No 57%
Yes 43%
Let's take the same poll here at Pulp Friction.
Do you agree that President Bush and Prime Minister Blair are good Nobel Peace Prize nominees?