Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Job Tracker

Use this link to discover which companies in your area are sending American jobs overseas, laying off people and otherwise screwing us:

I looked up my area and discovered both SBC and USAA are exporting jobs, along with a few mid-sized defense contractors. I think any company that derives even one penny from government contracts should be obligated by law to use only American workers.

Good God, the Bush administration is so bad it's caused a liberal like me to hold tight to conservative principles, like American Jobs for American People.
Quid Pro Quo, MoFo

If George Herbert Walker Bush can use their friendship to persuade Bill Clinton not to trash his imbecilic son George, why can't Bill Clinton use their friendship to have Bush 41 persuade Karl Rove not to trash Hillary?
New Feature:
Give me a topic, I'll write about it.

Monday, February 27, 2006

A 45-Day Delay

BushCo has agreed to a 45-day breathing period before they sell control of several major ports in America to a company in Dubai.
Within that time period, the GOP legislature will pretend to vet the company, which basically means they will issue an official, in-depth pamphlet okaying them.
Watch: they'll be taking over our ports in 46 days.
Fuck Dubai, fuck their corporations and fuck the Dubaities.
Will the bullshit ever end?

Friday, February 24, 2006

Freedom Toast, Freedom Fries

When that idiot Bob Ney, a Congressman from Ohio, insisted the Congressional cafeteria start calling French fries and French toast, "freedom fries and freedom toast," we all laughed at his stupidity.
Now the lunatic fringe in the Middle East have started calling Danish pastry, "roses of the prophet Mohammed."
Lemme see if I have this straight-
They can't handle cartoons depicting Mohammed, yet they can name pastries after him?

And speaking of idiots, after George Bush has spent the last six years trying to scare the hell out of us by claiming Arab terrorists are out to kill us- and any Arab might be a terrorist, now he wants us to be all-inclusive and let them operate our ports?

In an e-mail discussion with my political nemesis Recycled Sip Clyde, he was flabbergasted that I was in favor of racial profiling at airports and other venues. He thought I had betrayed the liberals.
I say, hell yes I'm for racial profiling at airports.
Security agents don't need to be randomly shaking down little old Hispanic ladies at airports, they need to be strip searching guys with Middle Eastern passports and names like Akbar and Mohammed.
I don't care if they live in Cincinnati and sell carpeting for Sears, I am suspicious of all Middle Eastern types because Bush has spread his paranoia so successfully.

Does that mean I am anti Islamic?
Well, the terrorist division of Islam has given them all a bad name, and I don't see any big clumps of Muslim clerics publicly denouncing suicide bombers or calling for other Islamic extremists to knock it off, so I guess I am.

It's kind of like the way I feel about Christian fundamentalist extremists. I think they give the word Christian a bad connotation, and it causes me to wonder about any self-proclaimed Christian.

I'm not an atheist, but you sure as hell don't see them banding together and flying planes into buildings or bombing embassies or KFC franchises. Nor do you hear them bitching about abortion or gay rights.

Nope. As long as Islamic extremists are blowing shit up, I say keep all of them away from running our ports, and we should watch them like hawks when they are in our country as aliens holding green cards.
And as long as Christian extremists keep trying to control our bodies and souls, they are also suspicious provocateurs who need to be watched carefully.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

What Gall...

DP World Company out of Dubai has offered to delay taking over the control of six major ports in the United States until Congress has a chance to sort things out.
I have a better idea.
DP World Company, how about you go fuck yourselves and forget about getting your terrorist hands on our already woefully unguarded ports?
Just because you and your terrorist buddies own Bush, it doesn't mean the rest of us trust you crazy bastards.

Jesus. Why can't America go one week without another major Bush administration scandal?
Even the Republicans are sick of this shit.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

The Bottom Line For Drunken Dick:
An open letter

Dear Dick Cheney:

I believe you were drunk off your ass when you shot that old man in the face and heart.
Unless you can produce a field sobriety test and a police report taken immediately after the incident, I believe you had the whole sordid mess covered up, and that you refused to talk to the police until the next morning, after you had sobered up.
I believe you are a fucking liar, like most active drunks tend to be.
Get some help, you drunken old fart, and stop playing with guns when you're toasted.

Karen Zipdrive

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Hey, I Have a Great Idea!

American seaports are still woefully unguarded against terrorism.
What we need is a company to help guard them.
I know, I know, let's not hire an American company, let's hire a company owned by the United Arab Emirates to guard them!
Isn't that a swell idea?

--George W. Bush
DUI Dick

Often, when a drunk driver receives a DUI from the police, it's a wake-up call or a sign of finally hitting bottom with one's drinking.
When a driver receives his second DUI, it's a sign of hitting an ever lower bottom, and judges routinely sentence offenders to court-mandated Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.
Millions of alcoholics realize the extent of their problem when they receive their first DUI. It's tangible proof that their drinking has gone too far and has negatively affected their judgment.
As a member of Al-Anon who attends regular meetings at a club primarily for AA members, I know of dozens of men and women whom the courts have sent to AA after they received DUI's.
If Dick Cheney was telling the truth about having a beer at lunch before he shot his hunting buddy, then he is obviously still drinking after receiving not one but two DUI's.
We already know Bush had to swear off drinking in his 40's, when Laura issued him an ultimatum.
We also know he is not into any type of recovery program.
When a drunk simply stops drinking without delving into the reasons he drank to begin with, he is called a dry drunk, and his thinking is still warped and often delusional.
So what we have in the White House is a dry drunk at the helm, with an active drunk as his first mate.
If anyone wonders what life looks like with drunks in charge, look no further than the Bush administration.
With at least three DUI's between them, Bush and Dick are two very sick men who are dragging the rest of us down with them.
We Al-Anons are taught to leave the drunks to their own peril, and allow them the dignity to find their own rock bottom.
It's a little harder to do when the drunks in question are the most powerful duo in the world.
All the rest of us can do is pray.

Monday, February 20, 2006

"Don't Mess With Me, Girl."

I know as a good American I am supposed to hate Venezuela's President Hugo Chavez because he openly loathes our president and his policies.
But then, so do I.
It seems Chavez is a little peeved at BushCo for attempting to oust him back in 2002, so he's been pretty open in his contempt for the buttinski Bush crowd.
Recently, Condoleezza Rice curled her lip and described Venezuela as one of the "biggest problems" for the Western Hemisphere. Then she promised to develop regional alliances as part of an "inoculation" strategy to expose what the State Department calls anti-democratic behavior in Venezuela.
As a response, Chavez said to Condo in a recent address, "Don't mess with me, girl."
Then he referred to her as "Condolence Rice" and blew her a kiss.
Venezuela may indeed be another banana republic and Chavez may be a petty little dictator, but as the world's fifth largest exporter of oil, Condo was wrong to use her diplomatic power to be so damned undiplomatic.
America's petty little dictator Bush said he's a uniter, not a divider.
He also called a pro-pollution bill, "the clear skies initiative," a bad education bill, "no child left behind" and the war in Iraq as a "mission accomplished."
I've learned to believe the opposite of what Bush and his cronies say is true.
I think it's refreshing for the leader of another country to openly express disdain toward these crooked bastards and the snarling bitch we currently are having to tolerate.
To Hugo Chavez I say, "You go, boy."

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Still Chuckling

Sorry for the dearth of fresh Blogs, but I am still chuckling that The Vice President of the United States of America Shot a Man in the Face and Heart.
I don't care what anyone says, I think Dick was drunker than Cooter Brown when he picked off that other old geezer.
Had Dick served in the military, he might have picked up a thing or two about gun safety, the draft dodging son of a bitch.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Slow Bloggy Week

Once Old Dick Cheney shot his pal in the face and chest on Sunday, there has been nothing to top that story this week.
Plus, I started taking two new medications for my torn rotator cuff and it seems like I've slept more than my lazy cats this week.
Friday night, I am putting on my new Lucchese boots and going to the stock show and rodeo. I hope I can stay awake long enough to see the giant bulls with the four-foot-wide butts. :)

Monday, February 13, 2006

More Dick

Seems Dick Cheney's Texas hunting license lacked the $7 bird stamp on it that enables people to legally hunt quail in the state.
He immediately sent them a check for $7. No fines were levied against Dick for shooting a man instead of one of the farm-raised, no-winged quails he was hunting.
Also, it seems Cheney and his hunting buddies were seeking their farm-raised game from a car. Not a Jeep, not a truck, not even an SUV... a car.
The victim, attorney and GOP wheel-greaser Harry Whittington was shot in the face with a shotgun.
The right-wing media is using phrases like, "peppered with birdshot," but make no mistake about it- a shotgun discharged at close-enough range will put a hole in a victim the size of a grapefruit.
I wonder if Supreme Court Puppet Anton Scolio plans to go duck hunting with Dick again?
I hope so.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart on Monday night put the entire episode into perfect perspective. Basically, the incident was so outrageous it was almost too easy to make jokes about. Jay Leno and David Letterman also had a field day, and why not?
The vice president mistook a 78-year-old man, standing upright in a Day-Glo orange hat and vest for a tiny bird on the ground and shot him in the face.
What a dick.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Memo to Dick Cheney

Hey Dick, we know Libby fingered you as the one who initiated his illegal leaking of CIA agent Valerie Plame's identity, but did you have to shoot someone to divert our attention?
Were you drinking out there on the Armstrong Ranch when you mistook that old guy for a quail? Were ya, Dick?
All I can say for sure is, Dick, you suck!

Friday, February 10, 2006

Please assist.

In San Antonio, gay city councilwoman Elena Guajardo recently received an e-mail from a disgruntled constituent, asking her to help rid a bar in her district from "undesirables" visiting from predominantly Hispanic sections of town.
The constituent wrote the racially inflammatory e-mail on his employer's e-mail account, on company time. Guajardo notified his employer, and they fired the man.
Shortly after, the 52-year-old man killed himself.
This occurred two weeks ago, but it's sweeps week and the station insists on keeping the controversy alive.
The local ABC affiliate now is running this ridiculous poll:

Should City Councilwoman Elena Guajardo resign from office for the way she handled a citizen's complaint that eventually led to the citizen getting fired and prompting him to commit suicide?
I don't know

People can vote as often as they want by simply refreshing the page and re-voting.
So far, the homophobes and racists are jamming the poll.
Let's not let them do that.
Vote at:


Thursday, February 09, 2006

More Bush Blunders

Dr. James Hansen, NASA's leading authority on global warming, was being muzzled by another of the Bush administration's buddy-boy appointees.
It seems little Georgie Deutsch, a 24-year-old with a padded resume, worked as a bigwig in NASA's public affairs office. His chief job was standing between Dr. Hansen and the media.
Hansen gave a speech in early December, calling for stronger efforts to reduce industrial emissions of carbon dioxide and other gases linked to global warming.
After his speech, he told a New York Times reporter he was threatened with "dire consequences" if he continued to call for aggressive action.
On his résumé, young Deutsch claimed a 2003 bachelor's degree in journalism from Texas A&M, but the university said that was untrue. An Aggie Blogger found out about that.
Though the kid had virtually no expertise in anything having to do with NASA or climate, he did a heckuva job on Bush's campaign and on his inaugural committee, so he got the plum assignment with the space agency.
Deutsch has now resigned in disgrace.
Want to learn more?
Check out: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/29/science/earth/29climate.html?ex=1139634000&en=c6317a609114adbd&ei=5070

You know by now that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales was not sworn in at his recent FibFest before the Senate, right? Yeah, the GOP majority voted that he didn't need to be sworn in.
Can you imagine what the media would have done to those baseball players, had they refused to be sworn in during their Senate hearings on steroid use? But then, that was baseball and I guess Bush wanted to hear sworn testimony in that instance.

Two more reasons to loathe this fascist regime.

Monday, February 06, 2006

C-Span Airing the Bush Spying Hearings

Watching the bi-partisan Senate panel grill the BushCo liars- it's fabulous.
Joy Rider Abandons Car!

Hmm. Yesterday afternoon, the cops called me to let me know my stolen Acura was located behind a building about a block from my house.
I trotted down the block to meet the patrolman at my car.
It was in exactly the same condition as when they stole it, except it was really dusty and dirty. A few items were missing, like my umbrellas, RX sunglasses and a portable CD player. All the factory installed extras were intact.
The passenger seat was loaded with leaves and junk, like a stack of crappy, heavy metal CDs, some wraparound sunglasses, about two cups of broken auto glass and a hand towel.
The thief also managed to swipe my valet key, the little bastard.
The detective who fingerprinted the car said the glass and towel indicated my car was likely used as a getaway car for some smash & grab activities.
Unlike Court TV detectives, the detective was unable to retrieve even one usable print.
I suppose I could go to the Acura dealer and get my locks re-keyed, but I can only imagine how they'd gouge me for that.
Instead, I plan to have a kill switch installed on my electronic fuel line, so if the crook returns, he'll run out of gas about 10 feet from my driveway. Then I can run out and beat him with a tennis racquet or a rolling pin.
I wish I could credit the San Antonio Police Department for their diligence in retrieving my car, but I can't. All I can give them is that two out of the three cops I dealt with were friendly and funny. The cop I met at my car yesterday was robotic and emotionless.
A civilian called-in the suspicious car, and the cops just meandered over to check on it.
Basically, the police acted as a low tech bulletin board and waited for civilians to do their footwork for them.
But... my car is back and I plan to take it in for a good scrub and a thorough vacuuming this morning.
I'm hoping the felonious cooties will evaporate in time.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Sunday in San Antonio

Auto Update:
Gee, what a shock--no word from the auto theft detectives about my stolen car.
Otherwise, it's a beautiful day in the city- clear blue skies, sunny and 67 degrees. I may take a bike ride later on, if my bike is still there.
Did y'all hear about the terrorists from the USS Cole bombing escaping from a prison in Yemen? Once again, the long arm of the Bush administration keeps protecting us from terrorism.
In other news, that gay bashing Nazi kid from New Bedford was shot in the head and killed after he shot a cop and others while he was on the lam in Arkansas. I may be a liberal dove, but I do loves me a bit of frontier justice. RIP, mofo.
Betty Friedan died.
Young whippersnappers out there would do themselves a favor if they looked into the life and work of Friedan. Her book, "The Feminine Mystique" caused a lot of us women back in the day to start to rear up on our haunches and get active.
Last night, a friend brought over an enormous hookah and some apple scented tobacco. I'd never smoked tobacco in a hookah before. It was rather enjoyable, though I did sort of miss the aftereffects of the last thing I smoked in a hookah.
My best friend Anna told me they have hookah bars in Seattle now- it's the new rage, she said. Now I feel inadvertantly hip.
Today is Stupor Bowl Sunday. It's a great day to go out shopping...that is, if you have a car.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Nancy Drew's Maiden Aunt

My car theft has turned into quite an adventure in futility.
I find that I've had to become way more involved in investigating the crime than I ever though possible.
Last night, a stranger called me, asking if my car had recently been stolen.
Leery, I said yes, then asked why he was asking.
It seems the old guy had found a black plastic trashbag on his curb yesterday morning around 6.
In it were papers and other items from my car, including the pried-off, leather lid to my console between the seats. My name and address were all over the papers.
So I got his address and number and called the car theft number for the police. No answer.
I called the SAPD's main switchboard and the dimwit operator couldn't tell me if or when the car theft detectives were on duty. Turns out the car theft cops are a 9 to 5 outfit. Swell.
I called again and got a new operator, who managed to locate a patrol officer to come by my house.
The cop arrived about 15 minutes later, not knowing why he was there.
As I tried to explain, he kept asking questions before he let me explain, and we both started getting a little defensive.
Finally, I gave him my detailed notes and let him read what I was trying to tell him.
He said he liked my handwriting, and the ice was suddenly broken.
He invited me to accompany him to the old man's address- then explained that all civilian riders must ride in the back-seat of the squad car.
"Oh no, is the back-seat filled with blood and snot and puke?" I asked.
"No," he laughed, "This is a fairly new car. You must watch COPS a lot."
I laughed and squeezed into the back seat, which was amazingly tidy. By then, my neighbors were on their porches, no doubt wondering why I was being hauled away by the cops.
We reached the old man's house less than a mile away and retrieved the bag. In it was nothing significant, except for some registration papers and the Annie Lennox CD I had lamented about losing.
When the cop drove me back to my house, my across the street neighbors came up to the cop with a video tape.
Seems they have three time-elapsed video cameras mounted on their property with one lens trained on their front yard, with my house in the background.
We quickly went to their video command post (in their bedroom closet) to view the tape.
Alas, the time stamp was screwy, so I was tasked with reviewing the tape frame by frame to see if I can pinpoint the moment my car was stolen, and by whom.
That'll be tricky because my porch light was off the night of the theft.
When I asked, the cop said the car theft detectives weren't about to review the tape themselves--I had to do it.
"Aren't they supposed to be the investigators?" I asked.
"Yeah, but they won't sit there and review the tape frame by frame," he said.
"Wouldn't that be considered an essential part of their investigation?" I asked.
Then the cop, my neighbors and I all broke out laughing. As if!
As we left the neighbor's house, about six of my other neighbors had gathered in the street, flocked around the cop, each sharing their theories of the crime.
Most seemed to think the ballsy crooks loaded my car onto a flatbed truck and hauled it away. What nerve!
Turns out the entire block is filled with Court TV watching comedians who love throwing around words like crackheads, assholes and scumbags when referring to the suspects.
The cop loved it. So did I.
By the end of our encounter, the cop confided in me that he was burnt out and jaded by 10 years of pounding the beat. He apologized for showing up cranky.
I told him to drop by anytime he needed another bottle of cold water or a pep talk.
He smiled and said, "You just want me to up my patrols in the area, right?"
"Fuck yeah," I replied.
It always pays to suck up to cops.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

How's Your Day Been So Far?

Mine started out kind of shitty.
As I took the trash to the curb for pickup this morning around 7:30, I noticed something was different about my driveway.
My car wasn't parked in it.
Yep, some motherfucker crackhead stole my Acura, my all time favorite car.
Just two months ago, I spent more than $1,500 under the hood, having my mechanic bring the engine up to showroom condition. I also had about $30 worth of gas in the tank.
And the thief stole what was in it,too:
A stack of CD's, including my favorite Annie Lennox CD, my prescription sunglasses, my CD player, my red scarf, my umbrella from Montreal with the gorgeous silk screened art on it, my little pile of winning lottery scratch-off tickets, a brand new box of Gain detergent, 20 pounds of kitty litter, my lucky charm beaded gecko, my water bottle, a pile of loose change and a brand new tin of Altoids mini mints.
Yes, it was locked.
Yes, it did have an alarm and yes, it was on.
Yes, it was parked just outside my bedroom window.
No, I didn't hear a thing as I slept.
Yes, I have theft insurance.
No, I don't have a rental car rider on my policy.


Oh, well, at least some crackhead is driving around in a fast car with three different anti-Bush bumper stickers on it.
I hope the black market auto crooks down in Mexico appreciate it.
An Annotated NY Times Editorial- Feb 2.

The March of the Straw Soldiers

President Bush is not giving up the battle over domestic spying. He's fighting it with an army of straw men and a fleet of red herrings.

In his State of the Union address and in a follow-up speech at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville yesterday, Mr. Bush threw out a dizzying array of misleading analogies, propaganda slogans and false choices: Congress authorized the president to spy on Americans and knew all about it ... 9/11 could have been prevented by warrantless spying ... you can't fight terrorism and also obey the law ... and Democrats are not just soft on national defense, they actually don't want to beat Al Qaeda.

"Let me put it to you in Texan," Mr. Bush drawled at the Grand Ole Opry House yesterday. "If Al Qaeda is calling into the United States, we want to know."
First of all, there is no language called "Texan."
Secondly, Bush's spying is not limited to 'al Qaida calling' into the United States. It included hundreds of thousands of innocent Americans calling friends and relatives outside the country, including Canada and Mexico. It includes tapping the private lines of people like CNN correspondent Christianne Amanpour, who obviously poses no threat to our national security.

Yes, and so does every American. But that has nothing to do with Mr. Bush's decision to toss out the Constitution and judicial process by authorizing the National Security Agency to eavesdrop without a warrant. Let's be clear: the president and his team had the ability to monitor calls by Qaeda operatives into and out of the United States before 9/11 and got even more authority to do it after the attacks. They never needed to resort to extralegal and probably unconstitutional methods.
They simply ignored existing laws because that's been Bush's modus operandi since 2000. He's special. He believes that laws don't apply to him.
Mr. Bush said the warrantless spying was vetted by lawyers in the Justice Department, which is cold comfort. They also endorsed the abuse of prisoners and the indefinite detention of "unlawful enemy combatants" without charges or trials.

The president also said the spying is reviewed by N.S.A. lawyers. That's nice, but the law was written specifically to bring that agency, and the president, under control. And there already is a branch of government assigned to decide what's legal. It's called the judiciary. The law itself is clear: spying on Americans without a warrant is illegal.
And whatever spin the neo-cons put on it, the president is not above the law.
One of the oddest moments in Mr. Bush's defense of domestic spying came when he told his audience in Nashville, "If I was trying to pull a fast one on the American people, why did I brief Congress?" He did not mention that some lawmakers protested the spying at the briefings, or that they found them inadequate. The audience members who laughed and applauded Mr. Bush's version of the truth may have forgot that he said he briefed Congress fully on weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. We know how that turned out.

When Bush has to take his smarmy message to the Hee-Haw crowd at the Grand Ole Opry, you know he must be desperate. I guess hillbillies are the only remaining constituents he has who are still too stupid to get that Americans are being bamboozled.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Dear Democratic National Committee:

Thanks so much for all the e-mail and snail mail requesting financial contributions from me.
Alas, until the real Democrats come out from under the rug and start raising Hell with Bush and his band of slimy criminals, you'll see no more money from me.
In 2004, I sent you clowns a record number of contributions, thinking my hard-earned dollars could really help make a difference in getting rid of the worst president and the most corrupt legislative Houses in history.
But I was wrong.
You folks allowed traitors like Joe Lieberman and the rest of the DINO scoundrels to vote to appoint a creep like Sam Alito without even a whimper.
You folks listened to Bush's horseshit SOTU address with your hands in your laps like timid little sheep, thinking your meek little demonstration against Bush's hamhanded social security stunt would make a powerful statement.
Well, you were wrong.
Hillary Clinton was once a bright star of hope, until she put on the kneepads and started servicing the neo-cons and the right-wing with her anti flag burning amendment and hawkish views on Bush's fucked-up war in Iraq. Pandering should be left to the GOP, you damn fools.

I live in Texas.
I can't see any suitable candidates from either party running for Governor of Texas this year, so I am skipping voting in the Democratic primary for the first time in 35 years, so I can help get Independent Kinky Friedman on the ballot.
If there was a strong candidate on the Democratic ticket, I'd stay loyal to my party.
All I see is party weakness and cowardice in the face of these tyrants, bullies and fascists who serve Generalissimo Bush.

I'm sick of the Democratic party right now, and until I see some GOPs getting knocked on their asses by ranking Democrats, y'all can kiss my butt.

So, quit asking me for money.
Bush took it all, and you chickenshits let him.
State of the Unctuous

I didn't watch Goofy's speech last night. I watched all the gay stuff on Bravo instead.
Whatever he said, I don't believe. And whatever he failed to say, he should have said.
I heard he mentioned the word terror almost 20 times.
He should be referred to as, "The Terror President."
I'm sure getting ready to deliver the speech was exhausting for him.
Watch: he'll soon be rushing back to Crawford for another vacation.
After all, there is brush to clear, lines to snort and booze to drink.
Did you watch it? What did you think?