Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Thanks for the Idea, Prick.

Rachel Maddow had on her show Tuesday night Rick Berman, the web site whore who hides behind non-profit status to host web sites like "Rotten Acorn.com" and "fish scam.com."
From harpooning grassroots organizations like PETA, Acorn and so forth, the guy uses phony science to discredit critics of tobacco, high fructose corn syrup, transfats and other bad products and corporate slimeballs.
And best of all, as a non-profit, he doesn't have to tell anyone who paid him to create these sites.
Hey, I'm a professional public relations practitioner, and Rick Berman has given me some great ideas for new web sites. Now, if I can only get my bloggy pals Helen Wheels and Nonnie 9999 to help me design the sites, here are some clients and topics I hope to represent:

Boys Need Men in Their Lives.com
This organization makes a case for loving adult men to share their intimate fun times with young boys. Only a dirty minded prude would think nudity and physical intimacy between boys and men is wrong!

Everclear: Safer and Cleaner Than Ordinary Liquor.com
This site explains how America's leading pure grain alcohol makes sense for every social occasion. It's clear, tasteless and adds just the right zing to beverages. No need to use dangerous drugs on hyperactive kids! A little Everclear calms them down in a jiffy!

Teacher's Pet.com
Is your teen son or daughter doing poorly in school? Perhaps their attention spans would increase if they had real reasons to pay attention in class! Nothing says "dedicated educator" like a teacher who drinks, smokes and has sex with students after school. Get your child a "piece of A" today!

Get Crackin'.com
Are you tired? Lacking energy? Bored with life? By learning about the rejuvenating powers of rock cocaine, you can put the spring back in your step while you lose weight! Skip expensive prescription drugs! With a small rock of crack, a simple glass tube and a lighter, you can feel young again! Great for couples.

Cut Heating Costs.com
Don't spend another winter wasting money on outrageously expensive heating oil or gas furnaces. Let us show you how a small bag of clean burning charcoal briquets can heat your home toasty warm.

Free Doggie Treats.com
Are you overlooking a dog's favorite snack? If you own a cat or kitten, you'll find free treats for doggies in kitty's litter box! With a simple food dehydrator, you can learn to make delicious doggie treats at home. Why pay for expensive Milk Bones, Snausages and pig ears when delicious, nutritious snacks are available for free?

Nancy Pelosi is a Vampire.com
Noted Soviet medical researcher Orly Taitz explains how her decades of scientific research has exposed Nancy Pelosi as a vampire. Have you ever seen Nancy Pelosi in the daytime? Of course not. Contribute today to have Pelosi staked in the heart- and be dead, finally dead.

DeLayed Reaction.com
Relive every sexy moment as Tom "the Hammer" DeLay danced his way into our hearts on ABC's "Dancing With the Stars." Buy the calendar! Your day will be sunny when you see color pics of the adorable booty shaking, finger wagging and pelvic thrusting of our favorite ex majority leader. It's Hammer Time!

Dingdongs Cure Cancer.com
Learn how these adorable chocolate delicacies from Hostess have been successfully used in the treatment of certain cancers such as breast cancer, prostate cancer, melanoma, lymphoma and testicular cancer. When chemo and radiation are not enough, Dingdongs to the rescue! Discovered as an alternate treatment in 1998 by noted international medical researcher Orly Taitz, find out why Dingdong therapy is a secret that African native Barack Hussein Obama doesn't want you to know!

Bad Bad Boys.com
See exciting pics and read the bios of The Bad Boys of Politics. From Larry Craig's sexytime in the Minnesota airport mens' room, to John Ensign's romp with a married staffer, to David Vitter's diaper fun, to Mark Sanford's sexy hike down the Appalachian Trail, learn what makes these sexy hunks way too hot to stay with just one spouse.

Safe for Baby.com
Are you tired of the fear tactics foisted off on new parents about stuff that's "allegedly" unsafe for babies? We debunk the myths about: secondhand smoke in the nursery, lead based paints, car seat "laws," sugary drinks, burgers and fries, "choking hazards," spanking, yelling and the so-called harm of pornography.

Nobel Prize for Sarah.com
Sign the petition and send us a dollar to force the ultra liberal Nobel Prize committee to finally recognize Governor Sarah Palin as the most deserving Nobel Peace Prize winner ever! No more wasting the honor on loony liberals and crackpot "scientists," let's give the prize to the you betcha-ist gal in the world!

Satan Created Gays.com
Learn about the devil's crowning achievement from noted international scientific researcher Orly Taitz, DDS, LLB, Realtor. Taitz traces homosexuality to the river Styx, where evil children were dipped into the fetid waters by Beelzebub and turned into sexual deviates. Foreword by the Rev. Ted Haggard.


nonnie9999 said...

how about RickBermanSucksDick...Morris'sToesWhileDickMorrisSucksAHooker'sToes.com?

Karen Zipdrive said...

or maybe:

nonnie9999 said...

of course, the best one is already taken:


Karen Zipdrive said...

What about:


Lulu Maude said...

Just today I was wishing I could find a market niche... and you beat me again.


HelenWheels said...

Ha ha ha haaaa!! I get dibs on designing SafeForBaby.com and NancyPelosiIsAVampire.com

Another great site is www.sweetjesusihatebilloreilly.com

Man I was cracking up all through this... SatanCreatedGays.com...

HA ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Orly Taitz sure does well in your organization, I notice. Good to know she's useful for something.

Fran said...

You crack me up!

let's give the prize to the you betcha-ist gal in the world!

if you say it fast, it sounds like

bitchiest gal in the world!

same difference, Eh?

Distributorcap said...

orly is one busy gal

Karen Zipdrive said...

D-Cap-- that must be why she's a lawyer, a dentist and a realtor.
They must hand out college degrees in Russia like towels in a steamroom.