Tuesday, June 30, 2009

What's Next, Sanford, Showing Us Your Penis?



With each day bringing sordid new details about South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford and his wiener gone wild, it's only a matter of time before he whips it out and shows it to us so we can behold its mighty girth.
I am not a psychotherapist, but it doesn't take one to see how much perverse pleasure this clown is taking in publicly reveling in his sexual dalliances.
Now, between conversations with God, he's telling anyone who'll listen that his Argentine mistress was not his only extramarital affair.
Oh sure, she's (allegedly) the only one he went all the way with, but do we really need to know what bases he landed on with the others? Is this guy 49 or 14?
Is he really so narcissistic he needs to keep talking about his errant pee-pee?
And why does he think he still has the right to mention God at every turn?
Doesn't he know that once you're caught fucking around, you have to give up your phony religious facade?
Listen. If God really was steering this creep's ship, He'd tell him to shut the fuck up, lie low and either resign or get back to work.
He reminds me of a toddler who finally nails potty training and wants everyone to rush in to look at his very special turds.
Less id and more super ego, please.
Norm Coleman
You Lost, You Big Foreheaded, Bucktoothed Bastard.



Now, go out and get a job, ya crybaby LOSER.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Another Death??



Sky Saxon, lead singer for The Seeds, died on June 25.
Big Sis and I used to love this band back in the 60's and we thought Sky was dreamy.
Enough already with the deaths!
Too Much Trash.



I'm shocked.
Usually I have extra large storage capacity for current events, but lately there's been just too much garbage to process.
--I think we all knew Michael Jackson was eccentric, frail, hypochondriac, abused and drug addicted. His death didn't really shock any of us, but what's been shocking is the incessant coverage and feigned shock about the gory details, as if Mother Teresa had died of a crack cocaine overdose.
Do we really need to know more about this pathetic, creepy character's personal life? Can't we just say a great performer died and stipulate to all the disgusting personal details we all know by heart by now?
--Mark Sanford is a hypocrite and creep. Cheaters rarely get caught on their first infidelity. Cheaters cheat; that's how they're hard wired. More women are slithering out of the woodwork now, saying Sanford screwed them, too. His wife's attitude tells the tale. She may say she wants to salvage their marriage, but her disgust is palpable. He epitomizes the phony family values Christian Southern political type, and he deserves to be put out to pasture.
--Bernie Madoff caught a 150-year sentence for being the slime ball of the century.
Don't Jewish people already catch enough shitty stereotyping about being cheap money grubbers without this putz exemplifying those hackneyed cliches? Just for that defamation-come-to-life, he should have caught another 50 years on his sentence.
Now his wife is saying she hopes he's swallowed up by the vultures of Hell. Sure, honey, you thought all that Beluga caviar and Crystal champagne on the assorted yachts tasted a little off, didn't you? And your darling sons were clueless, too? Riiiiight.
The real crime here was in the court letting her keep $2.6 million in cash after confiscating billions in cash and assets. Seems to me, $260 would have been more than several of Bernie's victims ended up with. Crime made her rich, now crime should leave her penniless. It's not like she ever worked for a living.
--Billy Mays died of an enlarged heart giving out, period. News vultures wanted oh so bad for his death to be caused by bumping his head on the airplane that blew two tires as it was landing.
--Poor Farrah Faucett. Her noble death was immediately eclipsed by Michael Jackson's ignoble death. Good thing she documented her struggles with cancer or we'd have been deprived of filler between the All Michael/All the time coverage.
--Ed McMahon's death was probably a relief to all after he pissed away millions on trophy wives and living beyond his means. As pitchman for a company that ripped off my elderly mother and thousands of other vulnerable old people in a sweepstakes sting, Ed can kiss my butt into eternity.
--David Carradine. I don't like dirty old perverts, alive or dead. Say what you will about his acting roles, but dying buck-naked in a Bangkok closet with one's hands and genitals trussed up like a goose is a fitting way for a kinky old codger to kick it.

All in all, recent current events news has been too thick and trashy even for a news whore like me. My head has been throbbing like it does when I hear club music that has neither beginning nor end.

I just want to watch HBO for a while.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Another Superstar Dead at 50



Last night I was up late watching TV. I was annoyed with myself because I needed to get to sleep, yet I was fascinated with the stupid show I was watching.
Then Billy Mays and his ear rupturing voice came on an ad and I clicked off the TV and went to bed.

Now he's dead.

I feel a little guilty that I clicked him off mid-pitch.
So here's some haiku in eulogy to Billy Mays.

He sold OxyClean
But I never used the stuff
Who needs to smell ox?

Why, oh why, oh why
Couldn't death have come to claim
That dork Shamwow guy?

Billy Mays was straight
But the gay boys loved that beast
He was their big bear

Friday, June 26, 2009

I feel a little sick about Michael Jackson's death.
When celebrities younger than me die, I'm reminded that part of my history is dying with them.
Since I was 12 I knew of Michael Jackson's talent. He was such a cute little boy in the Jackson 5, so cute I never noticed his other brothers, and still can't identify any of them on sight.
When MJ went solo and his debut album, "Off the Wall" came out, all the clubs I frequented played cuts from it constantly. I fell in love a few times to the beat of that soundtrack.
Same with "Thriller." What an amazing piece of work that was.
His tortured personal life and allegations aside, we lost a musical genius and a hell of a dancer yesterday.
And the 80's have officially ended.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

What the Fuck?



Two obituaries in one day.
Life is precious and short.
Let's all enjoy the time we have left.
RIP Michael, thanks for Thriller.
1947-2009
Rest in Peace, Farrah



So sad to see her lose her battle.
I liked her back in the day, but I especially liked her fighting spirit while she was dealing with aggressive cancer for three years.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Another Cheating Republican Bastard



Here's what South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford had to say after his unexplained absence:

"I've been unfaithful to my wife and I've developed a relationship with what started as a dear, dear friend from Argentina," he finally said. The affair has been going on for a year, he later explained.

Sanford announced that he is resigning as head of the Republican Governors Association.

"I spent the past five days of my life crying in Argentina," he said, "so I could come back and cry here."

Okay, did anyone besides me notice that he did not mention the gender of his dear, dear friend with whom he's fucking?
***UPDATE*** It's a woman named Maria. Sanford just failed to mention gender at first, causing me to presume that it was another GOP Foley/Craig deal.

The plot thickens.
Scratch off one more Republican who was eyeing a run for the White House.

I may have to become a conservative Jesus freak. They sure seem to get a lot of sexy time!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

To My Regular Readers:
Beware the Horse's Ass



I have a particularly virulent anonymous commenter who has nothing better to do with his time than heckle my blog and my readers.
Please do not respond to this slobbering jerk-off who calls himself, "moderate democrat."
While I am online often enough to quickly delete his poorly worded, misspelled, illogical vomit, occasionally one of his blatherings stays on for more than a few minutes before I can get to it.
Rest assured, I will delete all his comments eventually.
Just don't give this lonely sociopath the attention he so desperately craves by engaging him in conversation.
It's like feeding a cockroach and hoping he'll feel grateful and leave.
Just relax and let Mama Zipdrive get rid of this equine buttocks. ;)
Another 3-Point Shot, Nothing But Net



I may be a little miffed at President Obama for his inertia on gay rights, but in his press conference today, he masterfully silenced those who insisted he get more forceful about the Iranian elections.
When he chooses to make a clarifying statement on any topic, nobody does it better.
His words about Iran will embolden the protesters, diminish the credibility of the Iranian dictatorship that stole the election, and win the respect of people all over the world, all the while appearing to keep his hands off the outcome.
Good job, Barack.

Monday, June 22, 2009

It Should Have Been America in 2003



You have to hand it to the Iranian voters.
When an election is stolen from them, they don't accept the word of their Supremes as gospel, they hit the streets and speak their minds.
Now the GOP is saying Obama should step up and say something in support of the protesters, as if the world has no idea whose side he's on.
Does the GOP ever get anything right?
Obama's right- we need to stay out of it and let their people handle their political issues. We know what happened last time we butted into Iranian business.
So, to the Iranian protesters, I say Allah Akbar!
Finally, a group of people gave Twitter a legitimate reason for being.
Good for them.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Here's Bo Obama's Official Portrait



My bloggy pal Helen Wheels (See 'Just Ain't Right' on my blogroll) is upset that the Obamas selected a purebred dog as opposed to a rescue dog.
Assuming their decision was based on Malia's allergies, I can understand why they didn't want to risk a mixed breed's potential for allergens.
But damn, Bo is a cute pup.
From what I read, he's friendly but not well behaved and has issues with authority. I like that in a First Dog.
Barney Bush, like his daddy George W., was a prick. He bit and growled at people, like his grandma Barbara.
I love that the Obama girls lied their little asses off about walking Bo and taking great care of him.
I also love that Michelle complains that she's left to walk Bo and take him out to do his business. The best part of that is how many pics I've seen of White House staff doing that instead of her.
If I lived in the White House, I'd have a ton of puppies and kitties. I'd pet them and play with them, then call someone else to mess with their crap and litter boxes.
Every year I'd auction off a few of them for charity.
Who wouldn't want to own a First dog or cat?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Oh, Goodie Goodie!

MoveOn.Org wrote to me, asking for money for some damn cause that wasn't about my biggest cause: full rights for the GLBT community.
There was a place to make suggestions, and here's the suggestion I made.
If you decide to do the same, send it to me and I'll post your letter here.
-KZ

Dear MoveOn Friends,

I and many of my friends in the GLBT community are growing increasingly disgusted with the president's inaction on the campaign promises he made us about eliminating Don't ask/Don't tell, DOMA and other issues.
As a self-proclaimed "fierce advocate" of GLBT rights, as it stands he is to the right of the state of Iowa and Dick Cheney.
His recent, watered-down gesture, the memorandum about partners of federal employees, is weak for obvious reasons.
Until he starts making serious strides on our behalf, millions of GLBT people will consider ourselves conned into voting for, donating to and campaigning for just another phony politician who'll say anything to get elected.

Sincerely,
Karen Zipdrive
San Antonio, Texas
Bad Tats
(click to enlarge)
Talk Amongst Yourselves








Tuesday, June 16, 2009

It's India-hot in Texas



Jeeze, it's been in the hundreds all week.
I've been so sticky, cranky and hot, my disposition is shot to hell.
My electric bill will be astronomically high next month from running the A/C like a Sultan in Dubai all month.
I don't care.
Neighborhood kitties are opening fire hydrants to cool off.
The tires melted off my car.
My Crocs fused to my feet when I was walking out to my car.
My window tinting melted into the car doors.
The sun bleached my sunglasses clear.
I went swimming and the pool water was hotter than soup.
My lawn is crunchy.
My cacti is wrinkling up.
It's bad, man.
And it's not even August.
Thanks for the Crumbs, Bro



Oh gee, after Obama fucked the gay community by Bushing out on us with DOMA, now he's throwing us a bone by issuing a memorandum tomorrow (NOT an executive order) stating that partners of gay federal employees will get the same benefits as straight partners.
Why is that not a big deal?
I'll tell you why.
I used to be a Fed, working at the local VA hospital on the Director's staff.
Homophobia was rampant, so much so the closeted gay director was the target of constant derision, gossip and general snideness.
The idea of coming out in that atmosphere without a federal guarantee of non-discrimination toward all gays, a Federal employee could ask for the same sex benefits, get them, then be made to feel so uncomfortable they'd rue the day they ever came out.
These pissant half measures, especially this wimpy gesture Obama's making to atone for his DOMA embrace, are not enough.
If he lacks the balls to make sweeping changes to decades of GOP oppression now, while the minority GOP is deeply wounded, is he really so arrogant he thinks he can fulfill all his campaign promises during his second term when he's a lame duck?
Has he become so convinced of his Superman status that he thinks the queers will spend time and money trying to get him reelected in four years?
Guess again, bro.
Next time the Democrats call or e-mail me for more money, I can't wait to tell them why my purse is sealed shut.
If we queers can pay pennies on the dollar in taxes in exchange for partial rights, that's fine, but as long as we pay 100 percent of the same income taxes the straighties pay, we need 100 percent of the perks.
Period.
If I wanted a spineless liar in office, I could have campaigned for a Republican.
Hey Obama! Thanks for the Lies, You Fucking Fuck

N.Y. Times Editorial
A Bad Call on Gay Rights


The Obama administration, which came to office promising to protect gay rights but so far has not done much, actually struck a blow for the other side last week. It submitted a disturbing brief in support of the Defense of Marriage Act, which is the law that protects the right of states to not recognize same-sex marriages and denies same-sex married couples federal benefits. The administration needs a new direction on gay rights.

A gay couple married under California law is challenging the act in federal court. In its brief, the Justice Department argues that the couple lack legal standing to do so. It goes on to contend that even if they have standing, the case should be dismissed on the merits.
The brief insists it is reasonable for states to favor heterosexual marriages because they are the “traditional and universally recognized form of marriage.” In arguing that other states do not have to recognize same-sex marriages under the Constitution’s “full faith and credit” clause, the Justice Department cites decades-old cases ruling that states do not have to recognize marriages between cousins or an uncle and a niece.

These are comparisons that understandably rankle many gay people. In a letter to President Obama on Monday, Joe Solmonese, president of the Human Rights Campaign, a gay rights organization, said, “I cannot overstate the pain that we feel as human beings and as families when we read an argument, presented in federal court, implying that our own marriages have no more constitutional standing than incestuous ones.”

The brief also maintains that the Defense of Marriage Act represents a “cautious policy of federal neutrality” — an odd assertion since the law clearly discriminates against gay couples. Under the act, same-sex married couples who pay their taxes are ineligible for the sort of federal benefits — such as Social Security survivors’ payments and joint tax returns — that heterosexual married couples receive.

In the presidential campaign, President Obama declared that he would work to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act. Now, the administration appears to be defending it out of a sense of obligation to support a validly enacted Congressional law. There is a strong presumption that the Justice Department will defend federal laws, but it is not an inviolable rule.

If the administration does feel compelled to defend the act, it should do so in a less hurtful way. It could have crafted its legal arguments in general terms, as a simple description of where it believes the law now stands. There was no need to resort to specious arguments and inflammatory language to impugn same-sex marriage as an institution.

The best approach of all would have been to make clear, even as it defends the law in court, that it is fighting for gay rights. It should work to repeal “don’t ask, don’t tell,” the law that bans gay men and lesbians in the military from being open about their sexuality. It should push hard for a federal law banning employment discrimination. It should also work to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act in Congress.

The administration has had its hands full with the financial crisis, health care, Guantánamo Bay and other pressing matters. In times like these, issues like repealing the marriage act can seem like a distraction — or a political liability. But busy calendars and political expediency are no excuse for making one group of Americans wait any longer for equal rights.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Can You Live Without These Companies' Products?



Crest Whitestrips
Delphi
Mercedes Benz
Comcast
Subaru
GMC Suv's
Best Buy
Travelocity
Capzasin
New Phase
Orbitz
Ditech.com
eloan.com
Dawn
Toyota
Centrum
Nextel
Vehix.com
Gold Bond
Aspercreme
webmd.com
American Express
Holiday Inn Express
M Professional
priceline.com

Think about it.
Can you think of other sources for what these companies sell?
I'm asking because these are Fox News' major sponsors.
These companies are paying Rupert Murdoch billions so he can pay terror sympathizers like Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck millions to stir people to murder.
Do you realize what station owners do to on-air "talent" whose thoughtless words run off sponsors?
They fire them.
We lefties don't fight fire with fire.
We didn't kill Bill O'Reilly because he incited a maniac to kill an abortion doctor, and Glenn Beck is still alive even though his words probably resonated with the Holocaust Museum's assassin.
We lefties write letters. We join MoveOn.org.
We do boycotts.

So how about it?
If you'd like, I can round up corporate e-mails for all these sponsors and post them here so you can write to them and voice your objections to their sponsoring Fox News.
You could all use the list on your own Blogs and together we can organize a boycott.
Research says one letter of complaint (or praise) speaks for 1,000 people. Imagine them getting 100 letters in one day.

Are you in?

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Deep Thoughts: A Blogotorial
By Karen Zipdrive

Ohio does not take the same heat from the media as does Texas.
Oh sure, we gave y'all the Bush clan, and that was a huge embarrassment but we also gave you Lyndon B. Johnson, who made civil rights a Federal Law.
We gave you Tom Delay, but we also gave you Ann Richards and The Dixie Chicks, and that counts for something.
But Ohio is every bit as weird as Texas.
The state that gave us the brilliant Dennis Kucinich also gave us Congressman Tim Ryan (R-OH) who traveled to China and advised a group of Chinese lenders that the U.S. was neither worthy of trust nor further lending.
W h a t t h e f u c k ?
Ohioans are every bit as weird as Texans.
I have dated a few Ohio girls and they are supafreaks. Nice freaks, but freaks nonetheless.
But this Ryan guy, is he crazy, or stupid or what?
The media needs to get off Texas and go check out Ohio a little closer. Methinks Ryan might just be the tip of the iceberg.
San Antonio's Cool New Mayor



Meet Mayor Julian Castro, a Stanford educated progressive and attorney.
I've met him, his identical twin Joaquin and his mother, and he's a fine young man with a good sense of humor.
Finer now that he's proclaimed today Gay Pride Day in San Antonio, plus he's agreed to be the Grand Marshal in the Gay Pride Parade on July 4.
Oh sure, the ringwing crackpots don't like it, but they don't like anything, so screw them.
I'm just kinda happy that my homeboy Julian joins the state of Iowa and Dick Cheney on the far left of Barack Obama in terms of gay rights.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

That Slobby, Crazy Bastard



Get a load of this.
On his radio show today, Rush Limpballs said the insane old fart who shot up the Holocaust Museum was a leftist.
That goes beyond stupid, now he's just delusional, sick and crazy.
If that crazy assassin really was a lefty, I have a hunch Limpballs would be dead by now. If only.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

What We Can All Start Doing



I recall back in the late '70s, I was back in San Antonio and the deposed Shah of Iran had just been brought here to undergo cancer treatment.
There were quite a few Iranians attending college here at the time, and I lived in a fourplex filled with them.
At first I'd tried to befriend them, but I found them so sexist and dogmatic (not to mention smelly) I did my best to avoid them, especially the day I saw the guy downstairs butchering goats on his living room floor.
Anyway, they were getting very agitated that the Shah (whom they loathed) was in town, and one Saturday morning I looked out my upstairs window to find tens of dozens of them starting to congregate downstairs. Their voices were loud and angry and I was freaked out.
So I called the FBI.
Four government helicopters appeared within 20 minutes flat, and cars filled with Feds started arriving to disperse the crowd. And they did.

Here's my plan.

Next time I hear hate speech, I'm going to take a license number or get a name or whatever information I can and call the damn Feds.
If enough of these nuts get hassled enough by Homeland Security or the FBI, maybe they'll start thinking they'd better not be so casually rampant.
I am all for Freedom of Speech, but if I was able to refrain from publicly speaking my mind about what I'd like to see happen to the Bush administration, then those radical rightwing assholes should also keep a lid on it about Obama, abortion, Jews, gays, and whatever other hateful shit that's making them snap left and right.
Things are getting way out of hand. We all have to put our feet down.
Our taxes pay for a hell of a lot of national security personnel, and I say we start putting them to work to better keep the peace.
Are you with me?
Saddened and Sickened



Today a madman opened fire at the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C., killing the guard and wounding at least one other person.
There are hundreds of news stories and OpEd pieces about this all over TV news and in the Blogworld, so I won't rehash the details.
I believe the rightwing has become emboldened by rightwing pundits, entertainers and politicians whose hate speech and fomenting of violence has to stop.
Furthermore, I believe Americans have proven that gun ownership among responsible, sane citizens is quickly becoming eclipsed by insane murderers who make their political statements at the click of a trigger.
We lefties are at a disadvantage here.
We don't tend to shoot groups of people with whom we disagree.
We don't clog radio airwaves with hate speech that prompts racists, xenophobes and religious fanatics to take deadly action.
I think sooner or later, maniacs like Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter and so on will have to be indicted as co-conspirators in one or more of these hate crimes before any of them will start to tone down the rhetoric.
It's wrong to think this, but I don't know that I'd be that upset if someone got so sick of the hate mongering, they put a bullet in Limbaugh's fat head.
Is that what it'll take?
Causing massive terror in public is terrorism. These maniacs are terrorists.
One major hate crime per week is getting to be too goddamn much.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Bend Over, This Won't Hurt a Bit, Lady



I finally persuaded the shiftless gorillas at the appliance repair place to show up at my house to fix my washing machine. It had stopped spinning and draining and I needed it fixed pronto. They'd stood me up yesterday and I was already a little miffed.
They showed up today and quickly diagnosed it as a faulty door switch, a part the guy said cost $45. Labor would be an additional $55. I said the part sounded a little costly, and the one guy who spoke English looked me in the eye and promised that $45 was the standard rate for the part--I could ask anyone.
The barrel he had me over was wide, so I agreed to let them fix it.
I brought out my checkbook and he told me he wouldn't charge me tax if I paid cash.
Hmm, I thought, his tax evasion scheme might give me leverage if I ever needed it.
The head goon left and his Spanish language-only guy remained.
In the 10 minutes it took to do the repair, I checked on the Internet. The part retails for $25.
After he finished, I handed the guy five 20's and asked for a receipt. "I don' got no receep, meese, ju can got juan at the store."
So I stomped over to the store and demanded a receipt from the head goon.
He told me his assistant said I was angry and asked why.
I mentioned the part rip-off and he snorted and said, "We gotta make a living, lady."
So I said, "Ripping off people is no way to make a living."
He said, "Well, I didn't rip you off."
I said, "Look, just refund $20 to me and all is forgiven."
He actually started laughing.
As he wrote out the receipt, I said, "Be sure to divide up the parts and labor," which he did.
As I was walking out, I said over my shoulder, "By the way, asking for cash in exchange for waiving the sales tax is illegal."
He said, "What you gonna do about it?"
I just kept walking.
As I rounded the corner, walking up the street toward my house, he ran up behind me.
"Ma'am! Ma'am!" he cried.
"What?"
"Look, I'll refund your money, remove the new part and all you have to do is pay me a $15 service charge."
"Get serious. You ripped me off, you refused to do anything about it, now you want to cover your ass and act like none of this ever happened. Forget it."
He peeled off a twenty and shook it at me.
"Look, I'll give you this twenty and you just give me back the receipt."
"Sorry, too late."
He started moving closer to me and I raised my voice, "You come one inch closer and I'll scream until your eardrums shatter."
He backed off, since there were people out in their yards within earshot.
We parted company.
I called a few sales tax agencies and a local news station that has a great consumer fraud reporter. I outlined the plot, hiring an old lady, disabling her washer and calling in these crooks to repair it while they film it all on a hidden camera. He liked it.
These crooks may have ripped off the wrong person this time.
They're gonna get it.
Grrrrr.

Monday, June 08, 2009

OMG

Bill Maher Nailed It



On Friday's episode of HBO's Real Time, Bill Maher summed it up when he said Dick Cheney and the state of Iowa are far to the left of Obama when it comes to same-sex marriage. That's fucked up.
Also mentioned on the show was women from NYC and Los Angeles with troubled pregnancies having to fly to Wichita, Kansas for a third trimester abortion.
At this rate, the Midwest may soon become the bastion of progressiveness both coasts claim to be.
Obama, who was elected largely as an agent of change, needs to get his ass in gear and make some changes in America's social attitudes.
Iowa and Kansas should not be showing him the light.
Dick Cheney should not be schooling him on basic civil rights.
It's outrageous.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Sunday, Blessed Sunday



Ahh, Sunday. What bliss.
After a frenetic period of activity that included a lot of men in my house moving and carrying and installing and grunting, I'm left only with the task of getting my washing machine fixed, and I can't get that done on Sunday.
So, off I go (in a few hours) to jump in a pool and let the water and the sun purify me. Maybe all the unpositive positive ions that've been clinging to me for too long will end up squeezing themselves into the pool filter only to be discarded.
My new stove is very faboo.
It's got an industrial feel to it, with big honking burners and a serious broiler. I tried it out on a grilled cheese sandwich last night, and I can see I have to get used to such amazingly fierce firepower.
I'll have to actually read the instructions before I use the oven, but I will, just not today because I'm going swimming.
And that's all I have planned for today. You?

Friday, June 05, 2009

Eeeuwww



I knew back in his Kung Fu days that David Carradine looked a little pervy.
I have no doubt that his hanging death in a hotel closet in Bangkok was accidental.
He was merely trying to get off via a little auto-erotic asphyxiation. I'm wondering who tied his hands behind his back, a Thai hooker?
Maybe she got grossed out watching the old coot and split before he finished doing his thing, who knows?
At any rate, what an embarrassing way to go. What a crappy legacy.
Reluctant Adulthood Beckons Once Again



Oy.
I'm getting a new stove this weekend, so I decided to list my old stove and a spare refrigerator I have on Craig's List.
Thinking nobody really responds to ads on CL, I was shocked to start receiving e-mail within moments of posting my ad.
The first response was from a man whose language skills were less than par. He wanted to come over last night to look at the appliances, and it was after 11.
Of course I said no.
So off to bed I went, wondering if the man would arrive this morning and kill me, a la assorted hookers who got offed by Craig's Listers.
I tossed and turned all night, worried that he and a cro-magnon buddy would arrive wearing greasy wife beaters with a lot of back hair showing. I wondered which pair of pants I had that could conceal a knife. I came up with a story I'd tell them-- that my husband, a night-shift cop, was sleeping in the next room so they had to be quiet.
The call came at 9 this morning, and all my fretting was for nought.
The voice was that of a young college boy who's moving into his first apartment. He's attending my alma mater and majoring in Public Relations, of all things. All of his professors are among my favorite drinking buddies.
Judging by his timidity, I'm pretty sure I could kick his ass if I had to.
He said he's borrowing his brother's truck and dolly. I asked if he was bringing anyone to help and he said no at first, then I urged him to try to bring someone because I absolutely hate assisting in moving things, especially heavy appliances.
So now that I am reasonably assured that he's not a rapist/murderer, I'll return to the point of this post.
I hate having to be an adult and deal with issues like selling used appliances and having new ones delivered and installed. That's husband, boyfriend or really butch girlfriend work.
Maybe I need to cultivate a short-term relationship with a Ms. or Mr. Fix-It. I can make them festive meals while they paint and restore and renovate and clean up the yard. Then after they detail my car, we can eat while we watch TV.
I can do that with the best of them.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Here We Go Again



For the last month or so, I've had all kinds of problems with electric things.
My computer crashed, my iPod wouldn't turn on, my air conditioner went on the fritz, light bulbs were blowing out, and even my watch battery died.
Just as I thought I was out of the woods, yesterday my washing machine stopped spinning. I was left with a tub filled with wet black clothes and a lot of water to bail.
It's not an old washer, per se, it's just a normal looking, brand name machine that had no business going out.
Remember the old time washers that were made of steel, had three moving parts and never broke? Maybe I oughtta get one of those.
I can understand that bad luck can come in threes, but I'm hoping multiples of threes is not the case.
Are we in Mercury retrograde or something?

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

About My Earlier Post Regarding the Abortion Doctor's Murder

Sometimes things happen that are so horrible, so outrageous and so unfair, I just want to say count me out on this round because I just can't stand it.
Of course that's what prompted my earlier rant- I used the gay rights thing as a handy excuse to stay out of this issue because I'm just so goddamn sick of right-wing nuts with guns killing anyone with whom they disagree.
They say they want to protect the unborn, so they kill human beings to prove it?
I don't like handguns, so maybe I should buy one and go shoot a few gun sellers? Makes the same amount of sense.
I'm fucking sick of fanatic right-wing lunatics with guns who think they have a right to kill people.
If we on the left had comparable nuts, guys like Limbaugh, O'Reilly and Beck would be dead by now.
Obama needs to put some teeth in hate crime prosecution and he needs to do it now.
Enough is enough.
Terrorism is terrorism, regardless of which bastard is doing it.

Monday, June 01, 2009

LOLZ!



Hey, Eminem, this is what happens when you take yourself too seriously.
The look on Cameron Diaz's face sums it up.
You're Expecting Maybe Righteous Indignation?



Gee, I'm a liberal feminist. That means I should be all over the story of this pro choice physician in Kansas being assassinated, shouldn't I? I mean, honestly, all my Bloggy pals are weighing in on the outrage, shouldn't I be doing the same?
Sorry, those days are over.
Oh, there was a time I was marching for the ERA and choice and all that, then I realized that chicks who want the freedom to choose abortion have never lifted a finger to complain or march or petition about gays being denied civil rights.
There was a time I marched against war, against civil rights violations, against a lot of stuff, but where's the reciprocation, straighties?
There is none.
Well, very little, I should say.
I think women of abortion-having age forget how they got that goddamn right to begin with. Before Roe v. Wade, lesbos like me without any horses in this race would take to the streets, escort women into clinics under siege and otherwise risk our safety to fight for rights we didn't even need.
Well, fuck that.
I think maybe Roe v. Wade should be overturned and let these self absorbed breeder chicks start to understand they've been taking their basic human rights for granted.
Let them mobilize to get them back.
Besides queers being trendy accessories and tokens at straight parties, what have the breeders ever done for our trampled rights?
Nuthin.'
How many straight Black people are on the news saying, "The queers marched for us, now we're marching for them!"
How about none?
Sorry, fellow liberals, I am now a one trick pony.
No more donating to this or marching for that unless it involves queers getting an even break.
Remember this call to arms?

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
Then they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
I did not protest;
I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews,
I did not speak out;
I was not a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out for me.


Please note that practically all the downtrodden were mentioned except for the queers.
Well, this queer is fed up.
Abortion is not now, nor has it ever been my issue.
I've tried to show solidarity practically all my adult life, but have gotten bupkis in return.
My charitable, activist duties are suspended until we queers get what the rest of Americans have.
Feh.