Monday, January 31, 2011

Zipdrive's All-Inclusive Anthem For All What Ails You

Bad ex-lover or spouse? IRS audit? Surly traffic cop? Unreasonable, demanding boss? Hateful in-laws? Petty, vindictive "friends"? Spammers? Rude drivers who cut you off in traffic? Bad neighbors who make too much noise? Ridiculous teabagging politicians? Fox news? Rednecks? Hypocritical clergy? Terrorists? Gun nuts? people who can't handle their liquor or drugs? Overbearing strangers? Liars, bums and thieves? NBA ballhogs? Creepy celebrities?
Is there someone or something that bothers you to distraction?
This song never fails to cheer me up when I'm sad, comfort me when I'm angry and empower me when I'm stuck in traffic or stranded at a long red light.
There's a G rated version of this song called, "Forget You," but I like this pure, unadulterated version, from the voice behind Gnarles Barkley, Cee Lo Green.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

It Takes Two, Baby

Like Paul Debbie Downer Ryan (R-WI)wasn't enough to rebut the President's State of the Union Address, rabid teabagger and agitator Michelle Batshit Bachmann (R-MN) put on her own dog and pony show, courtesy of CNN.
In fact, CNN hyped her up like she was an officially designated GOP spokewitch by running her screed right after Big Ears Ryan droned.
What, the GOP is in such disarray with the teabaggers on board that they have to have two mopes speaking?
I confess, I didn't listen to Bachmann's remarks because I prefer my fiction in book form. But I did hear Paul Ryan's speech, and apparently he thinks it's too late to do anything anyway because our best century is behind us.
The GOP has forgotten that Clinton left a surplus, Bush 43 spent all of it, then ran us to the brink of bankruptcy.
They call the bailouts a terrible error, but they haven't noticed that Wall Street is rallying, the economy is healing and banks are starting to pay back the money Obama loaned them.
I liked the president's speech, but he used some pretty slick terms regarding Social Security and Medicare and I hope that doesn't mean he intends to mess with either of them. If he does he's toast.
But compared to Debbie Downer and Batshit Bachmann, Barack Obama is a brilliant orator with dazzling rhetoric.
If Ryan and Bachmann are the best the GOP's got, we Democrats are in good shape.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Don't You Dare.

The Feds act like the money we all put into Social Security is their money, not ours.
Now they want to jack with it and screw the Baby Boomers, not to mention the Gen X and Gen Y kids who'll probably never see a dime of it.
Yeah? Well, I predict if they start skimming our Baby Boomer Social Security checks there will be a glut of new pot growing operations done by retired folks.
Old folks are patient and they have time to watch over seedlings and tend to huge plants in their basements, garages and so forth.
All they need is a cooperative grandchild to help distribute the crop, and presto! Instant Social Security supplement funds.
Can I get an amen?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

If I Wrote President Obama's State of the Union Address

I read an article today about state of the union addresses being cliche ridden and often stale. Though I'm sure President Obama's address will be filled with soaring rhetoric, as is his specialty, I have an idea for a speech that I'm certain will reassure Americans frightened by the economy.

Friday, January 21, 2011

The F stands for Fuck Off!

It must be a seasonal thing, but lately a whole bunch of people I've never heard of have sent me Facebook friend requests.
It's really pretty easy for me, I have about 60 friends on my list and that's because I know them in person or at least I have known them online for more than five minutes.
I wonder how it is people I know can list 600 friends or even 6,000 friends, then it occurs to me--they just want to look super popular so they spend hours drafting any one they happen to see on Facebook who might be a so-called friend collector as well.
You know, a quid pro phony arrangement.
I have had some actual friends whom I've resisted Facebook friending as well.
Why? Because they are batshit crazy and I don't want the wrong person associating their crazy asses with mine.
So, I'm sorry Margaret Reynolds, Dennis Stone, Janice Taylor and the rest of you--I don't know you, so why would I want to pretend I do?

Thursday, January 13, 2011

She Opened Her Eyes

With any kind of luck, it looks like the bullet that flew through Rep. Giffords's brain last weekend won't have lasting damage to her ability to function.
I pray that she'll heal and be able to speak again, and when she does I hope she says, "I don't want any more targets placed over my likeness or that of my Congressional District. It's wrong, it's hateful and it's obviously dangerous."
She doesn't even have to mention the bloodthirsty Sarah Palin, her anti-Semitic use of the phrase blood libel or her cohorts in the teabagger crowd. People will know who she's talking about.
President Obama's speech last night reminded me why I voted for him and contributed to his campaign. I was proud of him once again.
I wish Rep. Giffords a speedy recovery.

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin

Ooopsie Daisy!
I had to beat feet to take down that US map with the crosshairs on my websight before I Tweeted my condolinces and prayers about Congressman Kathy Lee Gifford's shooting accident.
Thank God my pals in the media are saying this was not a right or left thing, it was a crazy guy's thing. Hard to beleive the haters out there are tryin' to pin this on me and my retorick. Last I checked, this is a free countrie, and I have the forth amendment right to free speach!!!
As for Congressman Kathy, I guess this will teach her a lesson not to be a democrat Jew in Arizona. The folks their do not like outsiders infiltrading into AZ politics. Which is why I told Bristol to wait a few years before she runs for city council of Maricopa County.
It turns out the crazy guy with the gun was a pothead, which tells me he's got democrat tendencys. He sure has never contacted me or my people about any thing, thats for darn sure!!
I will tell you some thing though. That sherif of Pima Country has got to go. He is a closit liberal with his silly remarks about toning down the retorick. The people of Arizona have a way of dealing with turncoats, and the solution goes: "bang bang bang." (LOL!!)
Course I will have to wait awhile to post a target over his face on my websight, but purty soon things will calm down (thanks to Fox News and other truely responsible news outlets) b4 I can do it.
Mean while, the evil liberals have cancelled my realty show and now I have to come up with another plan to earn some big bux b4 my 15 minutes is up. I asked Todd to go back to work; but he's gotten like a pimp now and he refuses to work becuz he says I am a cash cow with the sexie udders to prove it!!!
Okie dokay, Piper has supper ready and I gotta go downstares to eat. Yum- I shot that caribou the other week and she has made us some cariburgers to eat. I hope she made that blood gravy to go with it!!!
Toodles 4 now!!!!
Who Is This Bitch?

Sarah Palin is the mother of the Teabagger movement.
She's a money grubbing scoundrel who made $250,000 per episode on her newly cancelled reality show.
Last night my friend Gene and I tried to watch the season finale of her show. She and Todd and Piper watched the USAF Blue Angels fly in spectacular formation. Once they landed, they all lined up to shake hands with Palin.
Who is the current governor of Alaska, and why wasn't he there to do the handshaking?
For Palin the quitter, how is she considered a dignitary who gets to shake hands with Blue Angel pilots?
Other than a bad reality show, her only job seems to be flying from place to place and agitating crazy people who own guns.
She's basically a carnival barker, daring the mentally challenged and terminally angry to use their weapons and Be Somebody.
Why does she still have a voice in the political spectrum?
What does she contribute to society?
Politics in America were not as vitriolic or bloody before she came along and made violent rhetoric fashionable.
I am shocked that the mainstream media refuses to include Palin's influence in their incessant reporting about the Arizona assassinations.
That's why bloggers are important.
We are not leashed by conservative publishers who control what we write.
And we call a spade a spade, and we can say that Palin is an accomplice to murder.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Sarah Palin has Rep. Giffords's Blood on Her Hands.

Yes she does, and anyone who says differently is delusional.
Palin and her teabagging pals spit violent vitriol all over the media, and crazy armed people take it too seriously and go out and murder people.
Arizona has laws that allow unregistered nuts to carry concealed weapons.
Arizona has become the Mecca for right-wing nuts with guns.
Rep. Giffords is a Blue Dog Democrat, but idiots on the right don't know blue dogs from blue balls.
Palin needs to be muted. Not by gunshots or violence, but by public demand.
She started this shit, and the blood stains will never wash out.
Of course the shooter in AZ will plead insanity, but anyone smart enough not to talk to the cops until he was lawyered up tells me he's not nuts, he's just a typical mean, right-wing son of a bitch with a sense of entitlement he thinks allows him to shoot total strangers with whom he disagrees.
Arizona used to simply be hot as Hell.
Now it is Hell.
The Evolution of Hip Hop, as Recreated by Quincy Jones and Ludacris

Now, I like this. I can listen to this kind of hybrid stuff all night long.
I think it's definitely martini drinkin' music.

Rugs, Rugs, Rugs

Who do these guys think they're kidding?
What's wrong with being bald, anyway? Michael Jordan certainly didn't lose any fans because he decided to shave off whatever remaining hair he had. Neither did Sean Connery.
I think bald guys are sexy and masculine.
Why these phonies insist on covering their heads with wigs is a mystery to me.
And some have selected the cheapest looking rugs on the market.
Give it up, boys. We are on to you.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Captain Owen "Honors" Fired

Gee, it's getting so the captain of a gigantic Navy aircraft carrier can no longer get by with making lewd, sexist, homophobic videos to show to his 5,000+ person crew.
You'd think after those other high ranking asses got canned because they gave a candid interview to "Rolling Stone" magazine where they all but said President Obama is a moron, other high ranking military officers might think twice before doing something as stupid as making offensive videos public.
Maybe Capt. Honors can create a new career on the comedy club circuit. Or maybe Fox News will hire him as a military affairs "expert."
At any rate, I'm glad they fired the stupid bastard and took away his fat pension for life.
With the repeal of Don't Ask/Don't Tell, the last thing today's military needs is a homophobic high ranking officer. Especially the Navy.
Even the Village People knew way back in the 1980's about the Navy's reputation for attracting gay seamen.
Don't let the door hit you on the way out, "Honors".
Fuckin' jerk.