Thursday, November 06, 2008

Whoo-eee! I Smell Moose Roasting



I knew the GOP would start the blame game the minute McCain lost the election, but I didn't know they'd pile on Sarah Palin quite as heartily as they have.
I know by now nearly everyone has read the details, but I cannot resist rehashing them.
News of her appearing out of the shower in a towel when male McCain staff came to her hotel room to discuss strategy was especially delightful--that's a trademark Borderline Personality move. Classic!
Then the description a McCain staff member gave of her shopping sprees: "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast." Hillbillies?!? Can it get any funnier?
Seems they originally told her to go out and buy three suits and hire a stylist, but instead she went on a spree for her whole family of grifters, "spending tens of thousands more than the $150,000 originally reported."
She even had staff members put some of the purchases on their personal credit cards, for which they are now seeking reimbursement from the RNC. What, the Palins have no credit cards of their own? Hillbillies indeed!
And predictably, some of the purchased clothing now has been reported as "lost" (insert gales of laughter here).
Besides soaking the party for a family shopping spree of a lifetime, it seems disgruntled McCain staffers also have leaked that Palin didn't know Africa was a continent, nor could she name which three North American countries comprise NAFTA. I bet they even spotted her "America" and let her look at a map.
We've all heard by now that McCain came to deeply regret his hasty choice of a running mate, but now we know he could barely stand to speak to her.
When she asked to make a farewell speech on the night McCain made his concession speech, McCain campaign strategist Steve Schmidt told her thanks, but no thanks. Well, I made that last part up. I'm sure it was more like, "Fuck NO!"
Some lightweight broadcast "journalists" have asked Palin about her plans for a 2012 run for president, allowing her to be coy, bat her eyelashes and stop just short of poking her finger into an imaginary dimple and winking.
My dilemma is this.
How will I deal now with people who tell me they still like her?
Is it okay to tell them they are gullible, ignorant AND stupid, or should I just pick one option?
Would slapping them be too much?
How about pointing at them and bursting out in a great guffaw?
I know, the rank and file RNC hates the bitch by now and there's no way they'll let her get on the 2012 ballot, but I still cannot resist the urge to trash her as often as possible.

On some other blog comments boxes, I have opined and been charged with being bitter and unable to get over it and move on. "You act as if your candidate lost," one said. "Calling Palin a cunt is wholly inappropriate," another said.
I guess they think Bush's sudden amiability toward President-elect Obama and McCain's humble concession speech should make all of us accept them and let bygones be bygones.
Oh, I'll get over it and soften in due time, I'm sure.
I think that having to endure eight years of Bush and nearly two years of campaign invective and vitriol from the Republicans should allow me to stay angry for--oh, say a full year after Obama is sworn in and takes office.
I really doubt the GOP will rise to the challenge of restoring bipartisan dignity and civility for which Obama has already set the example.
Just today they were bitching about Obama selecting Rahm Emanuel as his Chief of Staff, like it's their fucking business.
The last eight years have intensified the dislike I have for Republicans. Unless they can start conducting themselves like respectable civil servants, people like me will always be around to poke them with a sharp stick.
Besides, Sarah Palin IS a cunt!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

So Very Sweet

My big brother Billy is a Texas Good Ole Boy who loves to fish, drives a pick-up truck, owns a couple of guns and rifles and wears a baseball cap all the time.
But unlike typical Texas Good Old Boys, he's a die-hard Democrat and avid environmentalist.
Well, I've only ever seen or heard of Billy crying three times.
Once when my Mother died. Once when the final episode of "Roots" aired. Then he called me this morning to tell me he cried last night when he heard President-Elect Obama's speech.
I think, like Billy, we all share a sense that Obama is everyones' strong new daddy who's here to make sure we're taken care of and protected. We feel relieved.
Unlike most politicians, I trust this man. I respect his judgment. And I think his calm demeanor and intellectual depth will lead us out of the quagmire Bush and his allies created.
Hey Billy!
I cried, too.
The Secret Diary of Osama Bin Laden



Oh, Allah has failed me (may we bow to his supremacy with great humility and disguise disappointment with long beard)!
The Saudi Royal Bandarbush had called my cellular telephone and assured me that infidel JohnMcCainbush was definite to win president US and therefore the Georgebush order of my protection would be continue.
Now this horrible Barack Hussein Obama president the fake Muslim (may Allah be blessed with 10,000 underage virgins for striking him with testes heavy like bull camel) might likely send in actual evil infidel US Army soldiers to find me at Pakistani Hilton and kill me until I no longer live to serve Allah (may He be blessed with 1,000 feather mattresses for sacred tent).
Silly US people think evil Muslim imposter Obama as "liberal" but I think he pretend to be liberal and kindly but really those types will take up sharpened s'aif sword and plunge into my heart with mona lisa woman smile on placid man face.
And he is shrewed he would take TV infidel who lay with women Rachel Maddow to make video pictures of my murder and show it on the TV cable in infidel american cable TV primetime.
Allah please (may you detect my panic by noticing my soiled robes) help me!
Imagine feather in fez Obama would get by showing up in the Congress US with my severed head on a stick!
Even the red state rightwings with the cow skull on belt buckles and pick it trucks with big tires would proclaim with glee my demise!
Please mighty Allah (may you be blessed with Humvee fleet dipped in gold)call upon georgebush to sue the US supreme court to make the votes cast for the evil infidel Hussein Obama not count and to make himself president again so I may be safe.
ALLAH AKBAR!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008


In the Spirit of Sportsmanship...










It would be so easy right now to gloat and say rude things to these fine Republicans who tried their best in this grueling campaign season.
No, I am better than that.
All these people claim to love America and want what's best for her, and that's really all that matters, right?
Wrong!
Liars, snakes and snivelers deserve no sympathy.
Therefore, suck it, losers. All y'all can kiss my liberal, lesbo ass.
The party's over, creeps.
You lost.
Get over it.
Bwahh-Hah!
Our Long National Nightmare is Over.



Thank God.
Thanks, But No Thanks.












Vote Obama Today.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Madelyn Payne Dunham 1922-2008



Ma'am, though you passed away one day before the election, think of how popular you'll be in Heaven when you arrive and tell all your friends who passed before you that your grandson is the new President-elect.
My mom passed away a year ago last week.
Please look her up and give her a high 5. She would have voted for your grandson, too.
You helped raise a very good man. Thank you, and Godspeed.
The Boss Says, "You Better Vote!"



I am cautiously giddy at the prospect of Obama winning tomorrow's electoral votes by a large margin.
Of course the racist governments of racist states are doing all they can to suppress the vote, but I somehow doubt they'll get by with it.
People are hip to those who wish to tamper with the poll results, and I'm sure the media is hungry for news of this sort.
Please vote, even if you're in a blue state that's bound to go for Obama.
Please vote, even if you're in a red state that could surprise you.
We will look back on this as the election of a lifetime. Please be a part of the revolution and vote.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Did You Vote Yet?

Where did you vote?
Was it crowded?
Who'd you vote for? Why?
Let's discuss, but first go vote.

Thank you.