Saturday, October 11, 2003

Rush 'OxyContin' Limbaugh, and that other Creep

Finally, the extreme right's greatest gasbag has done something right.
He's publicly admitted being addicted to narcotic pain killers.
That the drugs have clearly addled his brain notwithstanding, he was wise to cop to it and be done with the relentless rumors.
Of course, he's probably seeking treatment to avoid criminal prosecution over buying them in bulk illegally over the Internet, but still he was wise to fess up and face the public's notoriously short memory.
Maybe now he won't feel entitled to have such a holier than thou attitude.
He's just a regular hophead now, not unlike Robert Downey, Jr. or Courtney Love.
No wonder he made those lamebrained remarks about that black quarterback and how the media was kissing his ass. He was probably zoned out on OxyContin when he spoke, which as I mentioned is a powerful and addictive narcotic pain killer.
Oh well, he may catch a little humility as he kicks his addiction.
Yeah, right.

Meanwhile in Colorado, Kobe Bryant's preliminary hearing in the rape case has provided the public with some pretty gruesome details about the "alleged" rape.
Bryant has been quoting a lot of Biblical scripture lately, and sporting a new arm tattoo of Psalm XXVII, spelled out in its 23-word entirety.
He also wears a huge cross around his neck and tells anyone who'll listen he's all about God first, family second and basketball a distant third.
Amazing how he's never mentioned religion before. Gee, I wonder how the spirit has suddenly filled his soul?
Uh huh.
Anyway, back at the preliminary hearing:
According to the reporting officer's testimony, Bryant raped the victim while he held by her by the neck over a chair, and took her from behind. She was reported to have vaginal tearing, bruising and facial bruises upon examination by medical personnel.
This so-called consensual sex all happened within about a 20-minute time frame.
Even a diehard groupie would probably take umbrage being unceremoniously boinked from behind over a chair like a $10 blowup doll, then tossed out on her ass, all within 20 minutes.
Bryant was said to have been found with her blood on the front hem of his shirt. You know, sort of where blood would land if he was raping her from behind.
That she was a hotel employee doing her job as a concierge kind of dispels the groupie image. A concierge is supposed to cater to the rich and powerful with things like personal tours of the facilities and all. So what if she was kind of wowed that the famous Kobe Bryant was paying her attention?
She admitted consensually kissing and hugging him. Hey, she's a 19-year-old girl, she probably wanted to tell her pals she made out with Kobe.
But I think if she'd consented to sexual intercourse, she might have wanted to do it in his bed, and not thrown ass-up over a chair and shtupped from behind until her vaginal flesh was ripped.
Reporters said Bryant was looking quite uncomfortable, and even cringing, when the police officer gave his testimony.
He should be uncomfortable. Even sports pundits who adore him are saying this doesn't look very good for him.
And his female lawyer?
She mentioned the victim's name at least six times in court, in flagrant violation of Colorado law designed to protect the anonymity of rape victims.
This same victim has already had her life threatened by crazed Lakers fans, so one would think she might be extra edgy about having her name repeatedly dragged through court.
The judge finally cleared the courtrrom when Bryant's sleazeball of a whorebag lawyer asked the police officer if the vaginal tearing was similar to what would occur after having rough sex with three different men in as many days.
I am glad Bryant's being tried in Colorado. They have excellent rape laws there, designed to protect the victim, not the rapist.
If Bryant were tried in Los Angeles, like O.J. Simpson, he'd be exonerated and hailed as a conquering hero.
I hope when this is all over, Kobe takes a shine to his attorney's teenage daughter and decides to "date her" for 20 minutes or so.
Lucky gal. Too bad she'll have her back turned and miss the romance of it all.

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