Then the Rains Came

Last night, I got all hunkered down to watch "The Biggest Loser" on NBC. It's a reality show about obese people on two teams, seeing who can lose the most weight.
I like that show because it makes me feel so guilty, I end up watching it from my exercise bike, pedaling through at least half the show. It's always good for at least 10 more miles on my bike's odometer.
But we had a bit of rainy weather last night and the local NBC affiliate thought it would be better to bring out all their fancypants, multicolor Doppler Weatherscan 5000 software and spend at least 2 hours showing us where the fucking rain was, where it had been and where it was going.
It was a hard rain, but it's not as if mobile home courts were being uprooted and trailers were spinning in the air.
So, this morning I had to Google and find out which team member got eliminated.
Damn it! It was Matt, the lovable, pudgy gay boy. I loved that guy, and I missed his elimination.
All I have to show for it is two perky pine trees in my front yard and a lawn that makes a squishy sound when I walk on it.
WOAI Channel 4 Weather in San Antonio can shove that Doppler up their tiny little asses.
Don't be messing with my losers.