Does This Guy Seem Innocent to You?
It's been all over the news--the French head of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, was arrested and indicted for sexual assault and six other related counts in NYC.
The NYPD pulled him off an Air France plane bound for Paris and threw him in Rikers.
The "alleged" victim was a chambermaid at the Sofitel Hotel in NYC, where DSK was staying in a $3,000 per night suite.
I know it's proper to say "alleged" before a criminal is found guilty, but since I have already found him guilty in my mind, I will dispense with the "alleged" bullshit.
Thinking the room had been vacated, she walked in to find DSK emerging from the bathroom, completely naked. He spotted her and chased her down like a great white hunter after a cheetah, dragged her into the bathroom and forced her to give him oral sex.
They found his sperm on the floor where she spit it out, and they found scratch marks all over his liver spotted back.
Initially remanded without bail because he had the means to be a flight risk, his lawyers pulled a Bernie Madoff and got him out on a million-dollar cash bail, where he must stay on house arrest at some Upper East Side palace until the trial.
Come on, people.
Had DSK been wealthy aluminum siding King Irving Glickberg from Des Moines, he'd be thrown into general population of Rikers, chased down like a cheetah and raped on the hour.
He's so very special.
He is Le Grand Seducer.
He's a French multi-millionaire who oversees the IMF, so that makes him even more special.
I'm not sure yet whether he can pull enough strings to be found not guilty and allowed to leave America with his tail between his legs.
However, there has been one small victory.
He's been canned as head of the IMF, so he can no longer do to needy countries what he did to that hotel maid.
Maybe he'll just skulk back to Paris and rape a few local female reporters again.