Survivor: Dead Grandma?

When I was a kid and used to skip school, I always made it a point to use only dead relatives as excuses for having to attend funerals. Somehow I knew choosing a relative still alive was mega-bad karma, and just asking for them to actually die.
Jon apparently has no concept of such karma.
As everyone knows by now, he trumped up his grandma's death as an excuse to hang out all night at Camp Balboa with his goofy pal while his tribemembers were cast away on a desolate part of the island with just a machete and a box of matches.
Plank walking and keel hauling are too good for him. He deserves to be forced into a night of giving oral pleasure to Lil, including some leisurely toe sucking.
Anyway, if that wasn't enough, the idiotic castaways skipped the ideal chance to boot off the master manipulator Burton, or even that deceitful little creep Jon.
They booted Tijuana off.
Lately, I have been taping each episode so I can carefully review the stupidity that goes on in the voting process. Why Sandra and Christa opted to boot Tijuana is beyond anyone's comprehension.
My major Survivor rumor frau has said this will end up an all-girl final four.
If she's right, those bitches oughtta start booting those conniving men lickity split.
I am going to suspend my doubts, choose to be optimistic and predict Burton will be booted out next. If he wins immunity, then Jon will be gone.