Saturday, December 18, 2004

Ahh! 'Tis the Season of Regifting

We all do it.
Once we shop retail for Christmas gifts for our most significant relatives and friends, we begin to consider the second tier of people in our lives- those who warrant a Regift.
A regift, of course, is something we got as a gift we either strongly dislike, or have no hope of ever using.
I have a pile of them on hand for emergencies.
They include:
-An ecru lace tablecloth
-A decorative framed picture of a cat's face, done by someone I suspect was on acid at the time
-A wine opener that weighs 5 pounds and cut my finger the only time I tried to use it, not to mention it forcing the cork into the bottle instead of extracting it (sorry, Cris)
-A Chinese style glass lantern with dried flowers fused to the glass, designed to hold a tea candle
-A burlwood ink pot/bud vase
-An assortment of brooches and pins I'd rather die than wear
-Several items of clothing in sizes fit for the cast of The Biggest Loser
-Books I bought at Half-Price Bookstore that I don't want after all
-Assorted home decor bric-a-brac items that have nothing to do with my home decor, including a vast array of decorative boxes with nothing in them
-A handful of truly horrible CDs
-A videotape rewinder
-A clock with birds on it that cheeps on the hour
-A clock with cats on it that meows on the hour
-Silver candlesticks that only fit those hard-to-find super slim tapers
-Candles that are so decorative, it would be a venial sin to light them
-A hand-held, battery operated devise that cusses when a button is pushed
-And much, much more.
Now the task of assigning which regift to which person comes in.
What I might do is just wrap a few of them and throw them in my car trunk for those social events where someone I didn't expect a gift from gives me one.
I'll just say, "Wow, thank you! Let me go get your gift from my car."
Then I can watch with glee as they open it and express the same feigned delight as I did when I opened it the first time.
Okay, okay, maybe I am a chicken shit cheapskate for doing this.
But remember, it's the thought that counts. :)

Tell us what regifts you have stashed away.

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