I Just Don't See it

Hear me now and believe me later!
My online People magazine page arrived today with a blurb about Ellen DeGeneris and Portia DiRossi.
With the blurb came a photo of the new couple and I gotta say THEY JUST DON'T MATCH.
I tend to be a casual type like Ellen, and I have dated women like Portia DiRossi.
All I have to say is Ellen better get used to waiting for her to preen and primp and slather on all that make-up, do her hair, strap herself into those merry widow corsets and snap on those fishnets and garter belts...and that's for a trip to the supermarket!
Women like Portia need two steamer trunks full of costumes just to go on a weekend getaway.
They also need a lot of emotional maintenance, and if they are one of the hot blooded ethnicities like this chick, Ellen is in for a sleighride to HELL.
If this isn't Ellen's mid-life crisis, I'll be a monkey's aunt.
Let's just hope this women isn't a heavy drinker.