A Letter From the President

Dear Mexican Illegals:

If you get your tio and tia who were borned here to vote for me, I can let you stay here and make a legal minimum wage at some shit job for three years. By then I will have already gotten all your Mexican American relatives' votes, so you can take your illegal butts back to Mexico with a few legal pesos americanos in your pockets.
(Special note to Chuy, Chato, Jesus, Pancho and Josefina out at the ranch in Crawford- I told y'all I'd fix it for y'all!)

Con regardos buenos,
Jorge W. Arbusto
el presidente de los estados unidos
y el mentidoso grande