Monday, December 31, 2007

More Father Time Than Baby New Year

Hmm, I had big plans to drive up to Austin and join my Big Sis, her partner and all her partner's family and lovers-in-law for dinner, then I decided I'd rather spend New Year's Eve in my cozy little home.
I don't like being away from home on Amateur Night--too many nitwits outdoors, not just driving but out being crazy in general. A friend of mine caught a bullet in the head one New Year's Eve while she was in the back yard of another friend's house. The bullet fell straight down out of the sky--some asshole from up to three miles away shot his gun in the air to "celebrate."
Last night was a New Year's Eve-Eve party at the local lesbian cultural center.
I skipped that this year, too. I went last year and had to smile at and chit chat with a lot of people I didn't like, drink cheap wine and listen to amateurish live music provided by some kind of local lesbians with guitars band. Ugh.
I make a lousy lesbian.
I only like the sexual part of homosexuality--the social part makes me want to scream. I can't relate. Just the haircuts alone make me want to run screaming from the room.
I found out recently one of my ex's from a few years ago and the oafish, loud, obnoxious, pretentious asshole she ended up with broke up a few months ago. I had to chuckle. They are both control freaks and notoriously selfish, so I knew they'd eventually be at each others' throats.
I just wondered who'd dump who first, but I always gave the edge to my ex. She likes to empty people out, then dump them unceremoniously without so much as a glance back.
My ex was one of the obnoxious one's patients before they started fucking. I love a professional with integrity, don't you? Heh, heh, heh.
Anyway, I have made better use of my time tonight.
I am baking a pan of cheesy grits- my latest passion. Later on I'll have them with some thin slices of hickory smoked ham and a little salad. Mmm.
Then at midnight, I'll put on my bullet resistant Kevlar helmet and go outside to observe my lawless neighborhood's annual fireworks extravaganza. Seriously, these monster truck driving motherfuckers spend entire paychecks on arsenals of weapons grade fireworks. I'm talking those enormous chrysanthemum explosions that light up four square blocks. I may take pictures just to prove it.
My kitties kind of like the explosions. See, they love to jump up on stuff and topple it to the floor and make loud booms. So the explosions outside make them envious that they aren't making the noise.

I am so thrilled 2007 is almost over. My thick black cloud of depression is slowly lifting and I just know 2008 has to be 100 percent better.

Well, I may be a lousy lesbian but I still love a gay show tune, so I'll close with this one. Happy New Year, my dear friends and readers. All the best to you.

The sun will come out, tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sun
Just thinking about, tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow,
Til there's none.

When I'm stuck with the day, that's grey and lonely,
I Just stick out my chin and grin and say,

The sun will come out, tomorrow
So you gotta hang on til tomorrow,
Come what may,
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow
You're only a day away

The sun'll come out, tomorrow,
So you gotta hang on til tomorrow,
Come what may,
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow,
You're always a day away,
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow,
You're only a day away.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow,
You're only a day-a-way!!!


Lulu Maude said...

Happy New Year, Zippie. May we all continue to renew our subscriptions to living full!

deb said...

Happy New Year, Karen.

Dusty said...

Oh fuck me running...Not thatsong! ;p

Jane said...

Happy New Year. What are cheesy grits?

bigsis said...

I agree with the headline referring to 2007 in the "Onion" recently, which included background pix of 2007 people and events in the news:

"What The Hell Just Happened?"

Distributorcap said...

and karen

to someone who made me laugh more than you can imagine

"its a hard knocks life for me"

Karen Zipdrive said...

Jane, cheesy grits are a combination of ground hominy, milk, butter, green onions and cheddar cheese baked into a casserole.
They taste like a combination of twice baked potatoes and rice, with delightful little lumps distributed randomly. Come by, I'll make you some. :)

DisCap, I just love having you around. Happy New Year, bro.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Dusty, just think of it as a gay showtune and you'll be fine.
Big Sis, (aka CoCo) you need your own blog-- you are way too funny to hide your remarks in my comments box.

Karen Zipdrive said...

P.S. I tried to take photos of the fireworks display that ran in my 'hood non-stop from 11:45 to 12:30, but my damn camera was in auto focus mode and the delay resulted in a lot of black sky photos. Drat!

Jane said...

What is hominy? Is it like corn off the cob, which we'd call sweet corn but sweet corn is very yellow. I can't come by, I'm busy, sorry :P

koalazipdrive said...

Hominy is a form of corn (maize) that's treated with alkaline. It's very white.
You are a big tease, Aussie.

Jane said...

Hmmm. I don't think I've ever seen it here. I'm panfrying some haloumi to go the the chicken, HG basil and HG tomato I'm taking for lunch tomorrow. I don't tease. I just reject you straight out!

Jane said...

Why are you up so late? I've just had a look at the time for you (I'm working out the best time to log on at work to watch the Iowa results start to come through) and I can't tell if you're up super late or extra early.

karenzipdrive said...

First she rejects me straight out, then she's asking why I am up so late. Hrumph.
FYI it was about 1 a.m., the cats woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep so I got up and played on the net for a little while.
Then I went back to sleep.
Thank you for your concern, 'roo.

dguzman said...

oooh, the tension in this comments window is sizzling!

I dig the hominy, but just with butter and a little salt and peppa.

I love your lesbian-community rants! The crack about the haircuts got me; oh, the torture of the UDC (that's universal dyke cut, for all you breeders out there). But you know what? It's really not that bad out here in non-Texas land. There was just something tired and overtly gendered about most TX lesbians. I haven't found that to be true up here in the northeast.

I hope this year goes better for you, chica. Stick out that chin and grin.

karenzipdrive said...

I'd do more lesbian community rants but that would require more field research, which I find a repugnant option.

Just recently I had dinner with an old friend and within three days 20people knew about it and began speculating about nothing.