Bush Deserves Another Parting Gift
An Open Letter by Karen Zipdrive
Dear President Bush:
After eight years of incredible service to the country, we believe that you're probably very tired and ready to go back to Crawford and relax.
Why, even your dog Barney is tired and it made him cranky enough to bite a reporter yesterday.
We all know President-elect Obama is wasting no time in assembling a staff, so really--it's okay if you go ahead and leave office immediately.
He's got it.
Sure, you're leaving him with quite a few loose ends like the pesky budget crisis, two wars, record deficits and a world that hates us, but it's okay. You did your best, right?
Maybe you can get a jump start on writing your autobiography, huh? While it's true the president of Knoph Books said they'd pass on the project, there are plenty of other publishers out there who'd love to take you on as a new author.
All you have to do is get on the Internets and use teh Google to find some. Ask Jenna, she published a book, didn't she?
Also, there must be piles and piles of brush to clear on the ranch. It'll be even more fun without the paparazzi bugging you while you rev up the chain saw and start to choppin.'
We know you'll probably be putting the ranch up for sale now that you no longer need it to project your cowboy image, so wouldn't it be great to get a jump start on curb appeal?
And counting those bags of cash you'll soon be getting from Halliburton, Pfizer and all the oil companies will take months. Wouldn't you like to get to it now rather than waiting until late January?
It's okay, President Bush.
It's okay to pack up the White House silverware and the throw rugs Miss Beasley peed all over and get going.
Let us know if you need help packing, m'kay?
Seriously. It's time to run along now.