Friday, November 20, 2009

Ten Things I'd Rather Do Than Read Sarah Palin's Book

1. Blow Flavor Flav



2. Clean up David Hasselhoff's puke


3. Provide Amy Winehouse with oral pleasure


4. Pull Larry the Cable Guy's finger


5. Let Joe Lieberman get to third base


6. Eat this for Thanksgiving dinner


7. Trim Toby Keith's dirty toenails


8. Kiss Glenn Beck's tears dry


9. Have a menage a trois with Levi's Johnston and Jon's Gosslein


10. Turn straight for Mr. Chaz Bono

15 comments:

Karen Zipdrive said...

YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP!:

Unhappy fans of Sarah Palin went rogue on the Alaska Republican during her book tour stop in Noblesville, Indiana on Thursday.

The local Borders outlet had handed out 1,000 wristbands to book purchasers; the wristbands were supposed to procure fans Palin's signature on their hardback copies of "Going Rogue." But several dozen people who had been promised signatures were turned away empty-handed after waiting hours in poor weather, a local news outlet, the Indy Channel, reported.

"We gave up our entire workday, stayed in the cold, my kids were crying," one man was quoted saying. "They went home with my wife. She was out here in the freezing cold all day. I feel like I don't want to support Sarah."

Another woman told Indy Channel, "We bought two books from Borders to have our receipt and our wristband to get it signed tonight. My books are going back to Borders tomorrow."

The angry crowd turned on Palin as she returned to her "Going Rogue" tour bus. Video below shows people booing and shouting at the bus, and shouting "Sign our books Sarah!" as the engine revved up and Palin departed..."

nonnie9999 said...

i'm laughing my ass off! david letterman would be jealous of this list.

the reason that princess had a bus was so that she had something to throw her fans under. i'd feel sorry for them if they weren't such assholes.

p.s. zippy, head on over to the raisin (i hope that's one of the 10 things you'd rather do than read princess's book) and read what's on the movie poster very carefully.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Which movie poster? Your blog contains approximately 30,000 movie posters. ;)

writechic said...

OMG! Great list! I was totally with ya, til Chaz though. I'd have to pass on sex and read the book at that point.

(hi, nonnie!)

nonnie9999 said...

zippy,
the newest one. the one with virginia so-not-a foxx. read the blurbs on the poster carefully.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Oh, right. I saw that and laughed.
Thanks for the plug, pal. ;)

Karen Zipdrive said...

Writechic, okay you may have a point.
I might prefer reading Palin's book over turning straight for Chaz Boner, but I wouldn't enjoy it and I wouldn't move my lips while I read.

writechic said...

Pffft. I'd probably have to use Chaz's picture as a bookmark to plod through. So I feel ya.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Bis Sis and I saw him doing an interview with someone and he was in a suit and tie.
Sis said, "Can you imagine turning into a man and willingly wearing a tie??"
I understood why he did it, though.
A necktie has to be the biggest phallic symbol there is.
And I noticed Chaz's tie was a little short. ;)

Iain said...

I thought Scotland had nobody to rival our dietary death wish, but I'll never forget where I was the first time I ever saw a tin of Pork Brains. "In Milk Gravy", like it's a disgustingly vague selling point.

Still better than the thought of reading her book that someone else told her to have someone write for her. Why is she still here?

Karen Zipdrive said...

Iain,
I imagine my Jewish readers will find the pork brains in milk gravy the epitome of non Kosher food, aka treyf.
Why is Palin still around?
Because the American education system has gone to shit. Ignorance abounds and that breeds fear.
Palin uses fear, the Bible, guns and war to drum up support and her legions of followers lack the intellectual curiosity to delve into her lies and bullshit.
She is the hero to many because she IS them--ignorant, snide, zenophobic, afraid and stupid.

Iain said...

That all makes very sad sense, Karen. It's just depressing that she gets so much publicity (every pissing day on MSNBC!), and is the one picked to be lionised. Seemingly without a single original, curious thought in her head, just smart enough to empty enough pockets to get richer quickly. I'll bet she doesn't even know her Bible - it should be Katie Couric's angle for the next interview.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Oh, I'm sure the last thing Palin does is sit around reading the Bible.
She may show up at her holy roller church and pretend to be pious, but she's too self-absorbed to do anything that doesn't add to her phony political cache.
If she really was a so-called Christian, she would have done a better job of rearing her children and skipped politics altogether.
Look at her now.
She quits everything she starts and now she sits on her ass Tweeting and getting into other peoples' business.
The spoiled bitch can't even sit still long enough to sign copies of her stupid book.

Distributorcap said...

chaz was the cutest kid when sonny and cher showed him off on tv

Rastamick61 said...

Lieberman on third base with a monstrous hematoma where the high inside chin music caught him wouldn't be so bad now would it ?