My New Year's Resolutions
1. No more politics. I'm sick of it.
2. Declutter my house. Nobody needs three copies of any book, CD or DVD.
3. Use the word fuck and its variations approximately 15 percent fewer times.
4. Match up all my socks. Nobody should have 50 unmatched orphan socks.
5. Give 40 percent of my shoes away to Goodwill.
6. Same with my clothes.
7. Update my passport.
8. Learn a lot more French.
9. Sleep 8 hours a night.
10. Lose three pounds (just keepin' it real, folks)
11. Drink more water.
12. Learn to take better photographs.
13. Make a lot more money.
14. Stop all credit card use.
15. Be more grateful.