Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Why the Tiger Woods Story Will Stick Around

News stories must meet at least some of the criteria for publishing called news values.
These include:
As you can see, Tiger and his errant penis meet all these criteria.
Proximity is included because he's played golf in nearly all our hometowns, so he's therefore stayed at our local hotels where he potentially screwed one or more of our local cocktail waitresses and/or call girls.
The more of these news values the story has, the longer "legs" it has.
So you can plan on months more of Tiger the Whore news, which will eventually die down until he appears in public again.
Now that prescription drugs may be involved, he might start losing sponsors. Gatorade has already dumped its Tiger-inspired beverage.
And somehow I doubt that Nike's "Just Do It" campaign meant fucking around on one's wife.


nonnie9999 said...

and don't forget blondes, zippy. the media loves blondes, and this story has a cast of thousands of them.

yes, this story has legs, and apparently, they were all spread.

bigsis said...

I hadn't heard anything about the prescription drugs. Was it abuse of Viagra?

Lulu Maude said...

It also helps that so many of the Ladies have come forward to yak about it. This is their 15 min., and he has all that money and all they got was this damn diamond bracelet or a liposuction job, so why not accept $250k to be interviewed by the Star?

Pro sports is a giant whoredom.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Sis, no it was Ambien and Vicodin he reportedly used the day he ran into that tree.

Distributorcap said...

i alwasy thought he was a dick - and i guess he is in more ways than 12

Karen Zipdrive said...

You know, I've never been drawn to him, either. I guess if someone really likes golf he might be appealing, but I don't like golf- even a little.
I can see how Michael Jordan bagged all those women--he's hot. But Tiger's got no personality and he's not even handsome.
Now that we know he's a cheating dog, he's even less appealing.
I hope his wife dumps his ass and takes the kids to live in Sweden.

bigsis said...

Michael Jordan was charismatic, but he was also generous, a philanthropist. To my knowledge Tiger has never given a penny to the needy and right now, when people can't even put food on their tables they look at Tiger and he has it all, tons and tons of money, a gorgeous wife and two healthy beautiful children and look at what a cheating squandering bastard he is. That's what makes me want to blast his pompous, cheating, unappreciative yellow ass.