Where do I register my complaints?

I think those internet ads that strobe flash in your eyes ought to be felonies. They make my stomach flip. I could have a seizure! Also, that ad where you pound the gopher with a hammer is wrong, too. You should be able to pound him without being transported to some lame website.
They need ads that blow the scent of coffee or chocolate or cinnamon rolls through our CD ports. I'd like that.
Once I visited a boat magazine site and they sent me a free T-shirt. And I entered an online "I Slept With Clinton, Too" essay contest and won a T-shirt from them.
Sure beat that dumb gopher.