Tuesday, August 22, 2006

My Conversations With Republicans

Stella: I don't like to talk politics.
Me: Why, because your party has fucked up so much?
Stella: No, because you don't get it.
Me: Name one good thing Bush has done.
Stella: I don't like to talk politics.
Me: Just name one good thing and I'll change the subject.
Stella: No.

Kay: Talking politics is a bad idea.
Me: Why, because it's embarrassing for you Republicans?
Kay: No, it's because I try to avoid controversy.
Me: You voted for Bush, can you just tell me why?
Kay: Because I thought he was a good man.
Me: Do you still think that?
Kay: I don't want to discuss it.

Bubba: I think Bush has been good on national security.
Me: How so?
Bubba: He took the war to them.
Me: Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.
Bubba: We ain't been attacked, have we?
Me: Nearly as many soldiers have died in Iraq as the people who died on 9/11.
Bubba: Yeah, cuz we took the war to them.

Me: Why do you drive a Hummer?
Bow-headed woman: Because I can afford to.
Me: What about all the gas you're wasting?
Bow-headed woman: I can afford it.
Me: But why do you need such a huge vehicle?
Bow-headed woman: I have to take the kids to soccer practice.
Me: How many kids?
Bow-headed woman: Two. Tyler is 8 and Madison is 9.
Me: You can't fit two little kids in a standard sedan?
Bow-headed woman: They have equipment too, you know.
Me: What equipment?
Bow-headed woman: Balls n' stuff.

Me: How can you be a Republican in a family of Democrats?
Stupid nephew: Because they represent my views.
Me: What views? Are you for the war? Tax breaks for the rich? Cutting educational spending? Enron and Halliburton? Gay baiting? Anti abortion? Fear mongering? Borrowing money from the Red Chinese to wage an illegal war?
Stupid nephew: Oh, blah blah blah blah blah blah.


in.dog.neato said...

to the point:

You can't tell a Republican...a BushCo Republican that they're wrong...even though you can prove every word they say is a lie, they refuse to believe the truth. They call it being Brainwashed. I've studied brainwash conditioning in cults before...

For them to learn the truth...and really believe it to be the truth...would be akin to learning that the existence of God to be a complete fabrication and a falshehood.

They've been brainwashed by fear of terrorism and war to believe that Bush and his cadre of cronies can do no wrong, and they genuinely have their best interest at heart, and the Democratic party is the gateway to neverending hell at the hands of terrerists and a godless society.

Brainwashing. Read up on it.

Lulu Maude said...

Hilarious, Zippie!

In the little blue state in which I live, I can go weeks without bumping into, much less talking to, a Republican, at least since I left the born-again Spanish teacher at my old school.

I do see Bush bumper stickers, though, all tattered and worn.

dusty said...

omg..god bless your beautiful ass KZ..to even attempt to talk sense to one of "those" takes nads girl..I try on occasion but I get too pissed when I get the same dumb ass responses you did for the most part.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I have mostly stopped talking politics with repubes. What's the point? Anyone who still likes Bush at this point has an ethical disability.

JimBob said...

I was stuck in a week-long training class at work sitting next to one of THE dumbest people I have ever met in my life.

We had many "discussions", but the best was on his non-wavering belief that ALL universities had a secret agenda of turning all their students into communists.

"And just what is a Communist?", I asked him?

"Anyone who disagrees with George Bush."

I agree - these folks are brainwashed.