Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Project Runway!

Designing functional clothing out of recycled crap should not be a challenge on P.R.
Mylar, newspaper and plastic are not suitable materials for movable clothing.
Yet, Laura the architect designed a perfectly lovely sundress out of a muslim peanut bag and some black plastic strapping tape.
Poor Kayne the Oklahomo designed an atrocious dress festooned with an acid green flower as big as Rhode Island painted on it, and he dotted that mess with plastic bottle tops, also smeared with green acrylic.
Mentor Tim Gunn told him absolutely not, so he had to punt and throw together a rather unsightly green paper sundress with a flouncy tin foil hem. It was a monstrosity.
Angela the Earth Mother did a reasonably nice thing in shades of blue and silver glossy magazine ads.
Barbie designer Robert did a reasonably nice aluminum foil dress.
Jeff with the weak chin and tattooed neck did a semi pretty dress out of newspaper and painted with muted tones of blue and yellow, with a nice trompe l'oeil belt, but his ugly is beautiful esthetic is way too Santino. Also, I hate dresses that are short in front and longer in back.
German Uli, as always, created a lovely dress out of braided mylar that actually looked like clothing one would wear.
Vincent the twitching nebbish designed a horrid dress out of typing paper, which he covered in assorted scraps of black and white garbage. His model could barely rustle down the runway. Vincent kept saying his creation "really got me off," which I found a rather vulgar term when uttered by an elderly kook like him.
He and Alison were the last losers standing.
Poor Alison. Her pale yellow paper ensemble on her jumbo (size 6) model looked like it was made of tamale shucks. Simply hideous. The model's Minnie Mouse hairdo didn't help.
Laura or Uli should have won, but Michael the bootywear designer from Atlanta is on a roll. He won with a funky bustier made of twisted gold mylar, a white plastic skirt and a translucent plastic tarp wrap. He certainly has some skill with draping materials in a woman-flattering way, but that plastic tarp ruined the look for me because it looked exactly like what it was.
But...what do I know?
I think of haute couture as buying Eddie Bauer at full retail prices.

6 comments:

Jade said...

I hated Alison's dress, but her designs up until now have been very strong, so I don't get her being kicked off. Vincent hangs by a thread nearly every week--they can only be keeping him around for the ratings.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Alison's dress was awful, but her previous work should have gotten her over this unfortunate hump.
Vincent, on the other hand, has yet to produce anything that anyone on Earth would willingly wear.
Did anyone notice Laura berating him after the show for making a dress a model couldn't walk in?
I'm starting to really love that Laura.

Sanford said...

Reading these updates makes me want to start watching PR. It's (almost) a shame that everyone on the show is insane.

You need to check this out rightnow. RIGHTNOW.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=54084

Karen Zipdrive said...

Sanford- the joy of PR is that everyone is insane.
And I checked out that rightnow thing - what a laugh!
I'd be too worried about giving those freaks my address though.
I mean, you don't see liberals protesting at neo-con funerals and the like.

duckus said...

Vincent, unfortunately, gives good drama. And he's pervy. And whiny. And defensive. And stuck in the 80s.

And Laura is totally growing on me. I love how she wears her Riding Outfit everywhere. Just in case they were going to trot out the ponies in Jersey.

I think Jeffrey should have won though .. much as I hate the chinless wonder, I thought he made the only thing I could see someone wearing.

Karen Zipdrive said...

1. Vincent is stuck in the 70's, except for that Hardee's waitress dress he made for Twiggy.
2. Laura has the body for equestrian wear, plus those riding boots must have cost more than the GNP of Namibia.
3. Chinless wonder's newspaper dress would be fine for fair weather, but don't spill anything on it.