Thursday, March 30, 2006

Top Chef

I am now glued to Bravo's "Top Chef" the way I was glued to "Project Runway."
Last night, their challenge was to make a gourmet meal from $20 worth of groceries they purchased at a gas station MiniMart.
I can't believe they missed the obvious culinary delicacy: a can of chili, a bag of Fritos and some yellow cheese makes for a superb Frito Pie. Add some sour cream to the mix and you have haute cuisine.
Best of all, you can microwave the spicy melange in about three minutes. And it goes perfectly with most MiniMart wines and beers.

What would you create with $20 worth of MiniMart groceries?

25 comments:

Mike Zellers said...

hmmm....

potato chips - pref. the extra crunchy kind: $2.00
a lot of nuts - cashews/peanuts: $4.00
mac and cheese... $2.00
as much guinness as i could get with the remaining $12

Karen Zipdrive said...

Excellent! We now have entry #1, Mike's Mac n'Cheese n'Nuts n'Chips, served up with a bucket of Guinness.

Trish said...

The frito pie sounds yummy already. For appetizers we should have beef sticks sliced open slightly and filled with canned cheese.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Nice!
Trish chooses boeuf avec fromage aerosol.
I'd recommend a chilled Mogen David white to compliment that excellent appetizer.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I just thought of a dessert:
Crush a package of graham crackers and mix with butter to make a crust. Fill crust with a pint of chocolate cookie dough ice cream. Top with mashed Ding Dongs.
I call it Glucose 789 double chocolate Ding Dong pie.

Trish said...

Mmmmmm . . .

And the french vanilla cappucino out of the machine!

Karen Zipdrive said...

How could I have forgotten MiniMart Crappucino??
I love the slimy aftertaste and the foam that resembles castoff sludge from a chemical plant.
Mmmmm!

larkohio said...

Carmel Crapachinno is good. The pie appeals to my sweet tooth. Good one.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I have half a mind to stroll to the lovely little Mini Mart down the street and ask Mohammed the clerk if there are any Middle Eastern delicacies he might recommend from his inventory of well-aged comestibles.

dusty said...

KZ..my mom is from Corpus and as a child we ate that lovely delicacy you mentioned. Plus she had a penchant for putting friggin fritos in her scrambled eggs..yuck.

But my addition to this is a dessert..you take a bag of milk chocolate pieces and add some butter. micro the mess for about 45 seconds.Add a handful of marshmellows and nuke for another 45 seconds then mix well. Pour the mess into a graham cracker pie shell and stick it in the fridge to cool off. When you eat it have the phone number for the ER close since you will go into a diabetic coma shortly after eating a piece of that chocolate pie.

dusty said...

ps..i usually skip the crust and just eat the concoction out of the bowl..

Lulu Maude said...

Havoc

Karen Zipdrive said...

Havoc is not actually a dish, LuLu.
Here's another one I thought of:

Fancy Seafood Dip

2 cans Fancy Feast Flaked Salmon cat food
1 small jar mayonnaise
2 relish packets
1 small pkg. shredded beef jerky
1 small package saltine crackers

Mix first three ingredients well.
Mound in the center of a plate.
Garnish with shredded jerky.
Serve with saltines.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Another recipe:

Baloney Alfredo

1 cup o' noodles
I pkg baloney
1 pint half & half
1 stick oleo
2 packets of salt and pepper
1 small bag FunYums

Rinse all spices off noodles and add hot water until they are tender. Drain.
Slice baloney into 1/2" julienne.
Fry until oily, set aside.
Stir into a sauce pan the half & half and oleo until melted.
Add baloney.
Pour sauce over noodles.
Salt and pepper to taste.
Garnish with crushed FunYums.

Anonymous said...

I hope everyone transferred those delicious recipes to their collections. We're gonna need 'em when our Social Security and 401K's have gone TITS UP!

By the way, John had another little nervous breakdown:
http://americablog.blogspot.com/2006/03/my-full-report-from-radio-and.html
apparently due to some of the comments left in this thread:
http://americablog.blogspot.com/2006/03/lefts-fear-of-money-part-ii.html

Anonymous said...

Duh to me. It was the comments in the "my-full-report" post that led to the nervous breakdown in the "lefts-fear-of-money" post.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Penny, I read both of John's whinefests and I just had to comment rather bluntly over on his site.
His blog has become a handy source for links to other, more newsworthy blogs, but anyone can sit around and link other people's stuff. I do it all the time.
He rarely does any real reporting anymore- he just recaps.
And if I have to read about how he needs donations "because this is his job" one more time, I may puke.
If he needs money, he should practice law instead of calling himself a journalist. He has a law degree, not a journalism degree, so he's obviously got job skills that pay well.
And frankly, I don't give a fuck about how he looks in his two-year-old tuxedo or what he should wear and do with his hands and facial expressions on some obscure online video show.
He's quickly becoming the Stephen Colbert of Blogging.

Karen Zipdrive said...

...and him posing with Katherine Harris was sickening. She's the whore who manipulated the Florida vote in 2000, and I wouldn't pose with her unless I was wearing full leathers and whipping her bare ass with a cat o'nine tails.

Anonymous said...

Karen, I read your comment to John's "whinefest" and enjoyed it immensely! Chuckling... Matter of fact, in your first comment to me here, I can't say I disagree with anything you said. Let me add, oh how the mighty fall, then they turn into prima donnas with attitudes. Trust me on the attitude thing,... he banned me from commenting anymore. This is the first thing I see when I view his comment threads:

Banned by webmaster. Your comments will not be added

I suppose to be fair to him, I should pretend that I care. I can't imagine what it was that I said. (Actually, I remember it well, and can cut 'n paste it or post a link to it if you'd like.)

His picture with Cruella, R-FL wasn't "campy" as he calls it. It was revolting! Oh yes,... I haven't forgotton 12/2000 one little bit. Many a time when I saw her on TV I daydreamed about strangling the beotch on live TV for the whole world to see! I might've even dreamed during my sleep of doing it, too! I sometimes woke up pissed off and I'm sure it must've been Cruella's fault.

I didn't know until someone later left a comment but apparently in her high school yearbook, there's a picture of Cruella with her entire fist in her mouth. What sport was she training for?!? Color me stunned! I've overused this following line but: I wouldn't mind losing a foot long as I could break it off in her ass!

Let me know if you want to see that comment that drove him over the edge and resulted in my banning.

P.S. John tries to pretend to himself that people might be jealous of his fame and fortune. Not really. Matter of fact, I left this comment somewhere else about him:

John's problem is he's done what Dubya did with the "Islamist" threat. Dubya's made Red America hate Arabs indiscriminantly. John's written a few items that get everyone worked up about certain Republicans, then when they turn on him for posing with Cruella, R-FL, he has a hissy fit.

I hope he becomes as wealthy as Croesus. Perhaps then he can afford to buy some charm and civility.

Karen Zipdrive said...

When any Blogger starts to take his or her online "fame" too seriously, it's time to move on.
What started as a cutting edge political blog has turned into a personal plea for donations, recognition and praise--with some links to other blogs thrown in.
I love queens, but drama queens, not so much.

Anonymous said...

Sorry I got long-winded in my last comment Karen. I really did enjoy his blog when it first started up, and hit his paypal cup a few times. There was really a sense of community back in the good ole days. I suppose everyone had election fever and was getting pumped up. It's a different story over there now. There's a new group commenting these days, and anyone who dares disagree with the blogger gets ripped. Someone even said something like "if you didn't/don't donate $$ you have no right criticizing." Had to laugh there!

Anyway, thanks for what you do. One big difference between you two is that you were a journalist before you started blogging. Oh, I still admire John and what he's tried to do, I just won't take him half so seriously now. Thanks for allowing me to [/rant] and not banning me. Giggle.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I still am a journalist. That's how I make my living.
I blog for fun, for political activism and to keep my words limber.
If I was going to blog for a living, I would cover stories myself and not just serve as a linking service. And I'd keep my ass and my ego out of the stories I'd write.

larkohio said...

Wow! Just read all this stuff, and am amazed that John A. would get that close to Katherine Harris! She helped the Repugs steal the country in 2000. Sorry guys, not keeping up here, but it is really strange....

dusty said...

The large blogs are so full of themselves now..the daily kos is one big egotrip too. I get tired of him bitching about his book tours and his this and how busy he is..these guys buy into the bs..its sad.They become part of the story..first rule of journalism right KZ? never be a part of the story.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Yep.
Bloggers are not bound by the Society of Professional Journalists code of ethics, they do not risk libel suits nor do they have to answer to publishers, editors or advertisers.
I rarely read the large volume Blogs, with the exception of the Huffington Post and occasionally a few others.
I was a loyal, charter reader of AmericaBlog but after recent events, I'm done.
His credibility is shot to hell.