Eat It, DWiP
My boss, the Devil Wears Inexpensive Payless (aka: DWiP) was nice to me for as long as she could stand to be- about three weeks. Today ended that streak.
As most of you know, I am a magazine editor. DWiP is a lobbyist, our company's director of external affairs, and unfortunately, my boss.
Part of my magazine includes a monthly legislative column from DWiP, which I usually end up writing for her because she thinks copy deadlines only apply to everyone but her.
I am 99 percent done with the magazine copy for the next issue- lacking only HERS.
Yesterday, to get a move on I actually wrote her column for her, leaving her a few blanks to fill in. She sat on her ass reading the newspaper all afternoon yesterday, so early this morning I sent her an e-mail letting her know I needed the edited copy no later than noon.
At 11:20 this morning she came into my office and said she couldn't use what I'd written for her.
I said, "That's fine, but I need whatever you want me to publish no later than 2 today."
She said that would be impossible.
I said, "Then I'll have to scratch your page for this issue."
She said I can't.
I said I can and would.
She stormed out.
I stormed to the CEO's office and raised holy hell. He said he'd e-mail me later today and ask the status of the publication, at which point I could tattle on her via e-mail.
He hates confrontation.
She's passive aggressive and vindictive.
I am under the gun to publish the magazine on schedule by him, by her and by the entire Board of Directors.
She does everything she can, every single month, to try to keep me running late.
I overcome her opposition by working nights and weekends to get the damn thing out on time. Her copy is always last to come in.
Once the galleys come back from the designer, she's always the last one to make her edits. Always.
I don't want her to shove this $12.99 shoe up her ass, I want her to eat it.
Tonight, I have to go the a country club and cover an event my company is hosting. She will, as usual, try to get her face in all the photos I'll be taking.
That will not happen tonight.
After she eats the shoe, she can eat my camera, too.