Sunday, August 08, 2010

Here We Go Again

A few years ago, I had some next door neighbors whom I'll call The Renters. They were a young Hispanic couple and they used to have huge screaming matches, which usually would result in the male roaring off on his muffler-less motorcycle at all hours of the day and night.
When they were getting along, they were very social. In fact one night they managed to hire a disc jockey with several refrigerator sized Marshall amps and squeeze approximately 300 drunk people into their back yard.
The bass from the speakers literally shook the windows of my office, which is in back of my house with windows facing their back yard.
Around 1 a.m. the police arrived and told them to shut down the DJ and break up the party. They pretended to oblige, but the moment the cops left the party began again with renewed vigor. The cops showed up three times total, and finally stuck around to make sure everyone got in their cars and left around 3 a.m.
The Renters moved out because Pete the owner of the house (aka Scrotum face)always raises the rent after one year and all his tenants move out when he pulls that.
Then came The New Renters, another Hispanic couple who've been very civilized until last night.
I went to see comedian Ron White last night, and money has definitely civilized the former redneck. He really was funny and tons more sophisticated than anyone would imagine. I got home around 11, kind of buzzing due to the post-concert coffee I had.
So there I was pecking on my computer in my office that abuts their back yard and around midnight I heard loud male voices.
Then came the boompa boompa of the bass and the music began to blare as people started arriving in droves. There were maybe 75-100 drunk men and women making a lot of noise because the music was too loud to use normal conversational tones.
Who has a party that starts at midnight?!
I cranked up the volume of my TV to drown out the noise, but that bass pounding was enough to loosen my teeth fillings. It was making me very cranky.
At 12:30 I called the cops.
At 1:30 I called them again and they said a squad car was en route.
Around 1:45 a.m. three squad cars showed up and they promptly squelched the music and started carding younger looking people. Some of the males got belligerent, but I'm not sure if anyone was arrested.
I was like Mrs. Kravitz from "Bewitched," peering through the mini blinds and hoping not to be noticed.
By 2:15 a.m. the party was over and The Renters finally went inside.
I'm hoping the shame of having the police break up their party will be enough to caution The Renters not to throw any more huge backyard parties, but I fear they've developed a taste for loud music and mass obnoxiousness with their bummy friends.
It's 8:14 a.m. as I write this.
I imagine The Renters are sound asleep from their late night drunken revelry.
Their bedroom is next to my very loud stereo speakers in the living room.
I just hope they like to awaken to opera. German opera, to be specific.
Oh wait.
I think this is a job for Carmina Burana.
heh heh heh


Fran said...

Renter revenge is a dish best served loud and on a Sunday morning!!

squatlo said...

Once upon a time Squatlo lived in a very upscale apartment complex. The neighbors came and went, and civility was the norm. At some point management decided to lower standards and allow drunken hell-raisers other than yours truly to rent there, and a herd of them shared the apartment nextdoor to mine. Briefly.
Night after night these guys would throw down, stereo blasting, doors slamming at all hours (I called this the "Bimbo Release" because it always signaled the time of night when the females left for home) and generally they just made life miserable for those of us who worked early in the morning jobs.
I tried knocking on their door and having civil conversations about holding it down, but nothing worked. Finally, one night after a "bimbo release" at the front door of their apartment (which was near my bedroom window) I heard a one-sided conversation. I looked out my window only to see a guy talking on a cell phone while taking a whiz on the wall near my window.
I took an axe handle in hand, burst out of my front door and slammed it into the wall near where he was pissing... and he dropped the cell phone and ran to his truck for safety, leaving the phone and a trail of tinkle behind.
At that moment I was certifiably insane, and he probably saved his life by getting into a vehicle and driving away.
My theory at the time was that when I look out of my bedroom window at 3AM and see a guy holding his pecker, he needs immediate attention, not a call from the apartment's courtesy police security.
They moved out two days later, telling the manager that the guy next door was psychotic.
Mission accomplished...

Distributorcap said...

oh move to NY and really know what renters are like


not a fun nite

BHBinPDX said...

Karen.... Carmina Burana is a good choice.... the Verdi Requiem is even better!

Fran said...

We had a neighbor in a house kitty corner from our bedroom windows. He was learning to play set drums- so it was just patterns of rhythms not even rhythms. We would lie awake @ 11 pm wondering when it would stop... even the white noise of a fan would not drown it out.
I finally went over to their place. His wife w baby propped on her hip said he'd built a soundproof room.
Really? Because we would not be having this conversation if that was the case.
She asked what would be a reasonable time to quit & I said 9. He actually responded!

My Mom's old house had her bedroom window next to a house w multiple Latino families. They liked to play the classic music of mexico w spanish lyrics really loud & have parties w lots of cervesa (they threw their beer lids into Mom's rose gardens). In the daytime they used the fence between them as a impromptu clothes line.
Rather then have the conversation about investing in an actual clothesline, the music & litter issue- it was time for Mom to move out. When a few times a week you have to be sweeping up the broken glass of Corona beer bottle from the curb where you park as a regular activity, it's time to move.

Karen Zipdrive said...

When the last Renters had their big party, I found dirty Styrofoam menudo bowls, empty beer bottles and even a used diaper on my front lawn the next morning.
I planted three huge pyracantha bushes with cactus in between them, so there was no litter on my lawn today.
The one bright spot is the neighbors are due a huge rent hike, so the Renter wheel will spin again.

Anonymous said...

Always s spent diaper cartridge in the mix when you're partying young chicano style. My father got some bikers in a state campground Sunday morning with an 8 track of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, I kid thee not !!!

nonnie9999 said...

i had renters on one side who would fight constantly. i thought the husband was abusive, but it turned out that she was the wackadoodle. she got arrested a couple of times. she had a son from a former relationship, and they had one son together. the older one was around 5 or 6 and the younger one was around 2. when the parents would fight, the older one would get so upset, and he would cry. it broke my heart, so i would tell his mother that i was taking him to mcdonald's and shove him in my car. we'd go to mickey d's, where he'd cry into his happy meal, and i would tell him that he was a good boy and that he should come to my house whenever the idiots were fighting. they moved away, and i've always wondered what happened to that sweet little boy. i love my neighbors now. they bought the condo when the crazy renters moved. however, they just declared bankruptcy, and it's just a matter of time before the condo is foreclosed on.

bigsis said...

We had a neighbor that was for sure selling drugs out of her house. She even had the red light/green light signal. I found out her son buried the goods in the yard by our house and would dig them up as needed. So we installed a 10million watt (or something very very bright) on that side of the house and it lit up her front door, the entire driveway her stash hole etc. She's gone. People misbehaving outdoors at night hate the light.

dguzman said...

God, I hate people sometimes. We're pretty lucky here at the moment. Our neighbors are (1)a professional oboist who only practices during the day and when everyone is at work, (b)a crazy woman who obsesses over the little public courtyard garden she tends. She turns on her TV at 6am, but we usually sleep through it (though it can get annoying). But compared to past asshole neighbors who blared music all night, had screaming fights, stomped around like elephants, etc. -- we're pretty lucky now.