Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Somethin' Ain't Right



It seems actor Laurence Fishburn is having issues with his daughter Montana's new profession. She's become a porn star for Vivid Studios.
He said to her, furiously, "You're an embarrassment to the family!
You used your real last name!
Nobody does that in porn!"
Ay, there's the rub. I guess he's familiar with the genre.
Besides, everyone knows strippers, drag queens and porn actors derive their stage names from combining the name of their first pet and the name of the street they grew up on. I would Kitty Conestoga, for example.
Montana Fishburn obviously has issues with her daddy.
Was he a neglectful or otherwise withdrawn father?
Did he emotionally or physically abuse her?
God forbid, did he sexually abuse her?
I have no beef with porn, but in the hierarchy of sluttiness I give strippers the bronze, the silver goes to hookers and porn actors get the gold.
What they do in porn, no matter how disgusting, is committed to film for all eternity. Even if they make the switch to mainstream acting, they are forever branded as, "former porn star."
Montana Fishburn is coy with the media. She has no regrets, not even about her father's refusal to have anything to do with her "until she straightens up her life."
She seems upbeat and articulate.
I think she could have been a legitimate actor if she had gone that route first.
But now she's doing porn and her father is mortified. He seems pretty grouchy anyway, so maybe he should take a look at his role in Montana's decision.
Fathers, mothers, what would you do if your daughter (or son) became a porn actor?

11 comments:

Lisa said...

1. I'd give lectures about safety and having good contracts and managers.
2. I'd stop watching porn.

JimBob said...

Dang. Sorry. Dang. Didn't mean for that to post.

Dang.

Karen Zipdrive said...

huh?

JimBob said...

OK, apparently I'm having flashbacks and the thing I didn't want to post that I thought posted actually DIDN'T post.

Anyhoo, I guess I'd spend a lot of time wondering what I did wrong, talk to my sponsor, turn it over, and still love my kids as much as possible.

Keep in mind, the time period over which the above paragraph would occur would probably be several years...

nonnie9999 said...

why would she want to use her real last name? i mean, do people who watch porn really want to have 'fishburn' in the back of their minds? burning fish would not smell very good (although i must admit that i don't know if maybe they have good smelling fish in montana), and is not a very appealing thought when an actress is spreading her legs.

Julien said...

Nonnie9999 - HA!

Karen Zipdrive said...

Jim Bob, I know you and both of your mollycoddled daughters personally. You'd do none of that healthy stuff--you'd beat them with a pool cue and I'be be behind them, holding them in place, while your wife screamed her guts out at them.
:)

bigsis said...

Looks like the ultimate slap in the face of an absentee father and probably mother too.

Karen Zipdrive said...

As to the Fishburn name, I heard a comic on TV say that Snookie calls her vajayjay fishburn.
AHAHAHAHA! What a skank.

Distributorcap said...

how about Bristol Palin in porn?

Karen Zipdrive said...

Who'd want to see Miss Celibacy doing porn?
The only value in that I can see is the effect it would have on Sarah the Soccer Mom/Mama Grizzly/Hyper Christian/Keeper of All-American Values.
If that's the case, I would hope the porn would be very hard core, with plenty of mixed races, lesbianism and S&M scenes. And throw in a few horny sled dogs while you're at it.