Miss Dilbert, Reporting for Duty
I have a job I love, editing a magazine with a great designer and publisher.
Alas, I have a boss who should be working in a mid-level management civil service job somewhere in Del Rio or Waco. She has zero experience in publishing or journalism, yet she gets to be the boss.
She loves for me to write reports for her.
Like she doesn't know quite what an editor does, she needs fucking reports that say what I do all month.
She always requests them when she thinks I am having too much fun at work, or when I am so busy with my REAL job that I haven't got time to pee.
She also likes to spring stupid questions on me, knowing I have no idea what she's talking about. Sample:
"Karen, have the metropolitan health status reports come out for this year yet?"
"I don't know."
"Well, you NEED to find out!"
"Is that Clark ____'s department at Metro?"
"Yes, and tell him we need several copies."
"Boss, Clark said the reports aren't out in CD form yet, except they do have them on their website."
"Those aren't the reports I wanted, you need to call Nicole at Health-o-Metrics and ask for the health consensus reports."
"You mean, you don't read her e-mails!?"
"I read hundreds of e-mails, her name just doesn't ring any bells."
"Well, she's very important. You NEED to know her."
Later I ask around the office. Nobody's ever heard of Nicole or her fucking agency.
Call me snippy, but if Miss Dilbert wants to know about a report or some such nonsense, she can pick up the damned phone and ask for it herself. I'm not her secretary.
Ain't that the way it always is? You have a job you love and there's always that one asshole paper shuffler who outranks you and takes sheer delight in fucking with you.
I swear, when the woman takes a few vacation days she spends the whole time working and going to her beloved committee meetings.
Who the fuck can stand committee meetings? I'll tell you who, the chronically mediocre mind, that's who.
Please join me in praying that Miss Dilbert either gets offered a great job elsewhere, or gets embroiled in a tawdry sex scandal that causes her to leave town in utter disgrace.