Friday, May 16, 2008


Is this the ugliest, most cluttered NBA logo you've ever seen or what? I want to blast that little hornet in the face with RAID, he's so silly and annoying...just like the Hornets players have become in my eyes.
I'll admit it, before I was victimized by those dishonest faux-Christian scam artists in NOLA, I was willing to accept my World Champion, dynasty-havin' Spurs losing in the semi-finals to the NOLA Hornets because I had the best of motives:
I thought an NBA championship coming to New Orleans would revitalize their economy and return to the city some much-needed pride.
After all, my team already has four NBA championships and more division championships than any team in NBA history. No need to be greedy.
I recall the night back in 1999 when the Spurs won their first NBA championship.
Freeway traffic came to a halt. People jumped out of their cars to embrace each other. Surface streets were lined with people on the sides, waving to drivers who honked and waved in solidarity.
Tens of thousands of people collected downtown to celebrate late into the night. Kids and parents, old people and babies all mingled joyfully without one overturned car, one gunshot injury, or one arson. The only incident was someone getting bopped in the head by an errant flying beer bottle. Not bad for a city with more than a million residents, huh?

Anyway, because I was resigned to being okay with a NOLA win over the Spurs, I only watched a portion of the first few games of the 7-game series. I really didn't notice how cocky their players were.
Then by Game 5, I caught a few pre- and post-game interviews of Hornet players and was astounded at their arrogance and lack of respect for the defending champions.
They spoke as if they reckoned beating the Spurs would be a cakewalk.

When I finally watched a whole game, I saw the Hornet players exhibit everything I hate about b-ball players: Flopping. Elbowing. Whining about calls. Acting like spoiled little shits. Yep, the NOLA Hornets are like the Lakers without the famous players or the record to back up their shit.

Last night was Game 6 and the Spurs whipped the living hell out of them, 99-80.
By the middle of the 4th quarter, Coach Popovitch had benched the starters and sent out unknown deep-bench scrubs, a couple of Spurs Silver Dancers, the Coyote mascot and a towel boy. The Spurs still held them virtually scoreless, and managed to sink a few buckets in the process.

Game 7 is in New Orleans next Monday night.
The Spurs have to win for New Orleans' own good.
I just can't imagine the scene if they were to win an NBA Championship.
Lawlessness would ensue! Cars would be turned over, fires lit, people will throw each other into the Mississippi, cats will be strangled and dogs will be shot.
And that's just how the players would react.
The fans would really go overboard.


CLD said...

Picturing the mascot and the towel boy being sent into the game just cracked me the hell up.

Lulu Maude said...

Perhaps they could rename themselves the Mosquitoes.

coachkarenzipdrive said...

I'd make a terrible NBA coach because I'd risk the starters' safety by keeping them in the game during the 4th quarter so I could turn a landslide lead into a score like 214 to 80.
And if my team was really losing like Hell, I'd tell all my players to go in and set a new record for cheap foul-collecting.

karenzipdrive said...

Lulu, I think the flying waterbugs would be more apropos for a town as humid as NOLA.

Anonymous said...

How's that for convenience? Could you have ordered up a better proxy war to help deal with the emotional fallout from your encounter with a car full of bayou crooks?

Game seven here we come. Time to dust off the ole foam finger.

karenzipdrive said...

Anon, ya got that right.
In fact, you've inspired my next blog. Thank you!

Oh, and as for the foam finger, I have dibs on the middle one.

bigsis said...

Win or lose, with all the visitors to NO for the game there'll be new unsuspecting tourists for the locals to file fake personal injury claims against.

karenzipdrive said...

...not that we've stayed bitter or anything...
I'm watching that game on Monday night for sure, though. Arrrgh.

Dusty said...

Celt's advancing as of five minutes ago.

THe Cav's never led todays game.

dguzman said...

Good luck to your Spurs, but I think the NOLA players typify everything that's wrong with almost the entire league. That's why I refuse to watch pro/men's basketball. It's all trash-talk, dunks, and bullshit. If I want to watch a b-ball game, I'll watch the women--they still know how to play the game.

Karenzipdrive said...

In a classic duality struggle between butch and femme, I was faced with a dilemma tonight: the Part 1 season finale of Dancing With the Stars vs. Game Seven of the Semis.
Fortunately, Dancing comes on at 7 and the game starts at 8:30.

Dusty said...

Why, I have the same dilemma KZ. :)

Isn't the final Dancing a two hour extravaganza? My remote will be burning up clicking back and forth.

karenzipdrive said...

Never fear, Dusty.
While the DWtS is a two hour extravaganza, the two hours are spread over tonight and tomorrow night.
And we all know that the only minutes of NBA play that matter are the last six minutes of the final quarter.
So relax, watch the dancers, then stroll over to see the Spurs decimate the cocky little craw-dad sucking bayou rats.

Dusty said...

decimate the cocky little craw-dad sucking bayou rats. - You have such a way with words m'dear ;)

Yeah, I will be able to take in both 'shows'. I might not b the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I know how to work a remote.