Saturday, June 10, 2006

The Dog Whisperer

I am hooked on this National Geographic Channel show about a guy who tames unruly dogs.
I don't even have a dog, yet I can't wait to watch host Cesar Millan settle down the roughest Rottweiler to the most petulant Pomeranian.
In fact, a friend of mine's son is between houses and I am seriously considering letting him board his dog Pug, a Labrador/German Shepherd mix, in my back yard so I can go out there and say, "Chhhh" while I am nipping his side with my fingertips.
My niece Dixi, a large Boston terrier, had a little problem with authority when she was a tiny puppy. My big sister was horrified when Dixi was kicked out of puppy Pre-K for trying to bust moves on baby Labs and Shepherds who towered over her.
Through sheer will and a doctoral degree in arguing (lawyer) my big sister has managed to tame Dixi pretty much, but she still tries to dominate by jumping up on visitors as they enter the front door. And she petulantly stares at my sister for hours after being sent to her little bed.
My friend Katie has a retarded (I'm being literal here) Pit Bull named Polly Wolly Doodle.
Polly is sweet, but she'll eat a rock, chew up a TV cable, destroy a potted plant or dig a pit whenever the urge strikes her.
After weeks of obedience school, all Polly managed to learn was,"Look at me."
If I had the money, I'd fly Cesar Millan to San Antonio and set him loose on the little retard to see just how good he is.
Now all I need is for National Geographic Channel to launch a new show called, "The Cat Whisperer."
I have two boy cats who could benefit from a little obedience training.
Lesson one would be, James, stop licking my face to wake me up.
Lesson two would be, Nick, get down. Nick, get outta there. Nick, put that down. Nick, stop it. Nick, be quiet.


Lulu Maude said...

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

Lulu Maude said...

There was an interesting article on this guy in the New Yorker a couple of weeks ago. They interviewed him, then gave videos of him to people who analyze movement, then added the subject of movement and politicians into the mix. Big fun! Great reading!

p.s. Guess which politician moves like a gawky adolescent.


dusty said...

I saw an article on Cesar and it wasn't a nice one..guess some writers might be jealous of his new-found that a word?

My son turned me onto Cesar in the hopes we could learn to handle our Sasha,who must of been a crack-head in her former life.

As for Nick..try having six of them KZ..seriously.But mine are all females..

Kim said...

Cesar is an absolute GOD to me! My first walk with Chooch in the park went quite well. If only I could train Tracy the same way! :-)