Thursday, May 13, 2010

For The Record
A Blogatorial by KarenZipdrive

So there's a 17-year-old picture of Elena Kagan playing softball. So what?
For the record, I have never played softball, or any team sport.
I don't drive a Subaru Outback.
I don't watch football, or own a football.
I don't have any dyke friends named BJ, Stony or Lil' Bit.
I hate Melissa Etheridge's overly dramatic music, and I have never liked her cornball, overly earnest shtick.
I detest camping and hiking.
I didn't watch The L Word past Season One.
I rarely drink beer.
I get along well with men, straight and gay.
I don't do my own car repairs.
I know how to set a table.
I own more than six sets of dinner napkins.
I wear perfume...okay I wear men's cologne but it's French so that counts as girly.
I don't own a big dog with a bandanna around his neck.
I don't like hunting or fishing.

But I am a red blooded, lady licking lesbian.

If a photo of a butch woman playing softball is suspicious, then what the fuck is this?

I rest my case, your honor.


Iain said...

THAT's where Palin's brains are!

Missed this - seriously, is this the basis for arguments against her appointment? All the consorting with "softball-types" (wink, nudge) is what counts as proof of her liberal, anti-American agenda?

Karen Zipdrive said...

I'm so sick of these stupid media and political assholes who ask things like, "If she is a lesbian, how will that effect her judgment if she's asked to rule on same sex marriage or DADT?"
Here are my questions for them:
If he is a heterosexual male, how will that effect his judgment on prostitution? I mean, he probably likes to fuck hot chicks, right?
If he's a Black justice, how will that effect his judgment on laws about school lunch programs--will our children have to eat fried chicken and watermelon every day?

Lisa said...

Laughed out loud (twice) at the girly French men's cologne.

nonnie9999 said...

john roberts and his wife were both 41 when they got married. they adopted their kids. don't they screw? a marriage of convenience perhaps? he and alito have always seemed effeminate to me, and i have never once seen pictures of either of them wearing baseball jerseys, let alone actually playing softball. i demand to know if they have dreams of getting their dinkies stinky with men. after all, if they're self-hating homos like larry craig and george alan rekers, they'll probably rule against same-sex marriage, gay adoption, and the rescinding of dadt.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Ha! Lisa, it honestly does not smell like men's cologne. First time I smelled it, it was on a woman who'd swiped it from her husband.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I'm really showing my age by mentioning this, but Ms. Kagan bears an uncanny resemblance to Lou Costello of Abbot & Costello.

Distributorcap said...

who's on first

for both lou costello and softball

you left off your list that your not a gym teacher

but what about kd lang?


you cant write the script of douchebags like joe scarborough talking about the softball picture