Monday, May 24, 2010

Stay in Long Beach, Greaseball

Reports say this greasemonkey/cheating slob wants to pull up stakes and move to Austin.
Austin is Sandra Bullock's town, chump. She owns a restaurant, a shop and a home there, so she already has dibs on it.
Jesse James, if you insist on moving to a town where Sandra owns a home, I suggest you move to New Orleans. The Lower 9th Ward is your kind of place, and the rents are cheap.

I've taken the liberty of finding you a place to stay in NOLA while you house-hunt. This open air resort features wildlife, Gulf breezes and plenty of fun loving ladies for your cultural pleasures.
So skip Austin, loser, and move to a place you deserve.


nonnie9999 said...

new orleans hasn't suffered enough recently? i think jesse should move to kentucky. or idaho. or maybe south carolina, right next door to jim demint.

Lulu Maude said...

I hear Mark Sanford is looking for a roommate.

Karen Zipdrive said...

WHat has surprised me most is that I've yet to hear any comedians making fun of Jesse James's wimpy voice and Valley Boy accent.
He sounds like the total punk he is.

Lisa G. said...

How's he gonna work in his shop in LA if he's living in Austin? I don't see a real market for high end hogs in TX.

bigsis said...

He must not realize how much we love Sandy in Austin and anyone who hurts her is not welcome in this town. We didn't like it when Matthew McConoughy broke her heart, and he's an Austinite, so why would we tolerate this Cali white trash?

Now he's blaming his father for beating him as a child which caused him to be a lying, filthy cheat. He's a pig and he needs to keep his stinky ass in Long Beach.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Oh, he was an abused 7-year-old, big fucking deal. A lot of us have had creepy, abusive fathers and we didn't grow up to be liars, cheaters and scumbags.
Using the abuse excuse is as weak and the Twinkie defense.
He's a total pig, and a silly crybaby to boot.
His one honest statement was that he felt he didn't deserve a good wife and family. He's right. He didn't, and he doesn't.
Bombshell McGee is more his type. They belong together.