Thursday, November 18, 2010

Oh for God's Sake

By now, everyone knows that Hog Bristle Palin has waddled into the finals of Dancing with the Stars. She beat out Brandi and Maks, who had earned a 30 out of 30 in their last dance.
She started out the season as shy and lacking confidence, with a complete lack of rhythm or musicality. Now she's very confident with a complete lack of rhythm or musicality.
It's obvious the teabaggers have launched a national stuff the ballot campaign, which proves once and for all they don't care what their horse lacks, they just want their horse to win.
When they interview Bristle as to her reaction to getting into the finals, she says, "I think I deserve to be here because I've worked my butt off."
First of all, her large butt and thighs are still fully present, so she hasn't worked anything off. And secondly, her newly found self confidence is making her as obnoxious as her dominating mother.
She's not intelligent, her disposition is lousy and her only talent so far is the ability to breed.
After the results were announced, a guy who looks a lot like Wilfred Brimley took out his shotgun and blasted his TV screen to smithereens. The cops came and there was a brief stand-off before he was arrested.
If I could afford it, I'd do the same damn thing.
I'm pretty sure ABC executives are freaking out about now.
If Palin wins, everyone to the left of Gunga Din will boycott the show, me included.
But truth be told, ABC has already let this go too far.
The judges should get 70 percent and the TV viewers should get 30 percent of who gets the boot and who gets to stay.
Palin and her mama's teabagger pals have managed to ruin what used to be a really good show. I liked her better when she was a self conscious lump.
Are you watching this season? What do you think of her dancing?


Karen Zipdrive said...

Meanwhile, her sister Willow is on Facebook calling some kid a faggot.
What good Chistian values mama grizzly is teaching her kids.

Sherry Peyton said...

I wrote a small item about this twice now. It's fun to watch DWTS self distruct.They offered her the job and she has destroyed the show. It's already gone too far. I'll never watch again.

I agree and have argued for a couple of years that the public should only have a small percentage of the vote.

bigsis said...

I stopped watching DWS when Tom Delay was made a contestant. But having Bristle on was the nail in the DWS coffin for me. Perhaps "Skating With the Stars" will eliminate these awkward nobodys from entering the competition. If Bristle would have been on SWS we could finally see what being "as graceful as a hog on ice" really looks like.

South Austin Viceroy said...

I won't watch this dribble. Its funny that the Teatards think they are empowered because they can vote to keep this obnoxious twit on their beloved teevee show.

The Palins are now feeling empowered. Between DWTS and her new TLV show about her Alaska teevee show, we are now witnessing the Dunning-Kruger Effect, where the degree of one's confidence is inversely proportional to their competence.

Fran said...

I'm not going to call her fat because she is not anorexic skinny like other pro dancers, but her lack of rhythm, coordination & string of lowest scores should have yielded her the boot a long time ago, if not this last time, for sure.
In short her dancing ability sucks. I watched the other dancers faces when they announced Brandi was leaving... literally their jaws dropped & the guy dancing w Jennifer-- his facial expression said it all... a huge WTF??? & one clap for Bristol.
Come on! She really sucks & I have to agree w Big Sis on this one- Tom Delay was a pisser to have as a "guest"... Dancing with convicted Felons??? And he had the gall to wear some red white & blue costume. He should have been wearing black & white or orange prisoner outfits. The old curmudgeon.

In any case.....
Palin sucks & it is weird to see Mommy dearest & Dad in the audience. Yet they seem to love whatever way they can get in the spotlight.

So the same week Palin says she going to run for president in 2012, her daughter Willow posts anti gay slurs on Facebook.
Her kids seem to be taking turns sabotaging Mom's political ASSpirations. (typo intended).

I so do not want to have to go through another presidential election with winkin' blinkin' Palin in the debates as a candidate. I'm all Mavericked out.

KarenZipdrive said...

Recently Palin said confidently, "Yeah, I think I could beat Obama in a presidential race."
She'd be the best thing to ever happen to the Democratic ticket. If she's the GOP candidate, Obama is virtually guaranteed a second term.

nonnie9999 said...

dancing? since when is standing still while your partner dances around you or schleps your bloated body around the floor called dancing?

i think it's hilarious when brisket goes on and on about how she's worked so hard. how can she have worked so hard when she's actually gotten bigger as the show went on? of course, the other fred luntz-scripted argument is that she's just a nobody plucked from obscurity, and that's why people are on her side. if that's the case, wtf is she doing on a show called dancing with the stars?

not only did willow post homophobic slurs, but brisket joined in. she's apologized, though i highly doubt it was sincere. oh, how i hope to g-d that piper is a lesbian!

the problem with the show is twofold. the first is that the judges are told what kind of scores to give to certain people. there's no way that brisket and any of the other remaining couples should have received the same scores. she is clearly not anywhere near their level. she's never received any real and merited criticism. she should have gotten 3s or 4s for her monkey dance. she's been overscored since the beginning. i have to believe that judges who have no compunction about being heartless with other contestants were not instructed to go easy on the pudgy-assed bitch. the other problem is the voting. it would be better if there were fewer votes allowed, and they should allow people to vote for whom they want off the show.

as for abc, i think they're loving all the publicity. they planned on this, and i doubt that they'll do anything different in the future.

i did a little digging. tlc (where princess has her reality show) is owned by discovery communications, inc. dci distributes bbc america and bbc world news in the usa. bbc owns dwts.

Anonymous said...

The Palin Reality Show franchise is booming. Wanna see Taaaahhhhhd rumbling over the Ice Highway dragging Grisly Mama in a dogsled right after Christmas. These people need training the way Mr Drysdale and Miss Hataway used to keep Jed and Ellie Mae and Jethro in check by trying to teach them to behave like proper Nouveau Riche trailerbillies.

Jaliya said...

I'm so glad I don't watch TV ... Palins, Palins everywhere.

KarenZipdrive said...

The Palins need overseers like the Clampetts did.
I think Peggy Noonan (Peggington Noonington) should move in with them and show them the etiquitte ropes.
They are the most boorish
reality star
...bunch of gypsies I've ever seen.
They're grifters, right down to little Piper with her faux LV bag.
And the terminally ignorant rightwing & teabaggers are bending over so Sarah can more easily pick their pockets.
I D I O T S !

Anonymous said...

OMG so funny.

nonnie9999 said...

i wish i had thought up brisket, but i didn't. i've seen it in a few places. it fits, though, because she's a cow.

squatlo said...

You watch this shit? Seriously?
And expect the Amurcan Public to NOT vote for Sister Sarah's little grandbaby maker?
c'mon, KZ... find the remote or hand it to someone who knows how it works...
There's a reality show we should all be paying attention to, and if half the people who stay up at night worrying about DWTS had cast actual votes for the mid-term elections, we might not be looking at the biggest herd of dolts to ever stand in the on-deck circle of American politics.
Shows like this one are good for a laugh, I guess, and god knows we don't have to be all-politics all-the-time, but it amazes me how much attention this silly crap gets and how little attention we pay to two on-going immoral wars and occupations, the cholera outbreak in Haiti, or the votes being cast in Congress. Instead, we sit around waiting for the next balloon boy story or a photo of the face of the Virgin Mary on a pop tart in Connecticut.
B. Palin's dancing abilities? Give me a F B!

Karen Zipdrive said...

Squatlo, I make no apologies for watching a dancing show. I was raised by queens; it's in my blood.
But look how wonderfully verbal it's caused you to be!
It's an inspiration, darlin'. Embrace it!

Lulu Maude said...

Well! Philosophically, I have to align with Squatlo, but I also have a long history of witnessing tacky spectacles of the popular culture variety, so I tapped into the Youtube Dancing with the stars to see just what the hell is going on.

I can only say that Mama Grisly has outdone herself in passing on to her brood the sense of entitlement she has hatched in whatever henhouse or den. It's amazing that a show can lure people on for the express purpose of making them look awful. I opted for the rumba, and the sight of old Bristol yanking the wife-beater off her pro partner was... well... I'm not sure that I can summon a word or phrase. Then she stands behind him and tries to... oh, never mind.

It's all why I don't watch TV, but surely the RNC has splurged on vote buying for this saw little show. Does Michael Steele maintain a little slush fund?

Yow, and yow.

Lulu Maude said...

Hmmm... I went back to see more on youtube this morning, (waltz, paso doble), and I emerged with a voice from my past. Some old Republican woman getting all protective when the judges tell B that she ain't got it...

Well! she sez, It's better than I could do!

She reaches for the phone.

okjimm said...

ya, what Squatlo said!!!! I watched the 'news' the other night...and it was full of Bristol and Brittney, and crap crap crap....

...and it's not that there is just ONE show like this.... THEY are all so insipid!

Dusty,Hells most vocal Bitch said...

First of all, her large butt and thighs are still fully present, so she hasn't worked anything off. thanks I damn near choked to death on my swig of coffee over that line. ;p

The Conductor said...

I've not been watching the season, but my grandmother (and former ballroom dance teacher) watches it religiously. She's extrememly upset Bristol lasted so long. She keeps yelling "Those fucking teacuppers!" from the next room. I smile every time.