Newsybits

Actor Robert Blake was arrested and charged yesterday with the murder of his wife Bonny Lee Bakely.
She was a con artist who preyed on horny and lonely men, offering nude pics of herself in exchange for money and gifts. She also had a little quickie marriage thing going for some of her trampy galpals.
They should get Judge Judy and try this case on the Jerry Springer Show.
Jurors could be Maury Povich, Sally Jesse Rafael, Jenny Jones, Montel Williams, Rikki Lake, Paula Poundstone, Mr. T, Carrot Top, Emeril Lagasse, Vanna White, Pat Sajak and Alan Thicke.

Charles and Camilla

Bookies in the UK are taking bets on when the horsey couple will marry. Odds are on the year 2004. Brits are 40 percent behind them getting hitched, but soundly against would-be King Charles making her Queen or Princess Camilla.
When asked if she was happy now that their relationship was out in the open, Camilla pounded the ground with her front hoof and whinnied delightedly.

Canadian Military Group Bombed by American Air Force

Enough already. We haven't found bin Laden, we have stirred up too much extra shit in an already insane region, and now we are bombing the military equivalent of baby harp seals, our Canadian allies, in a moronic, accidental sortie.
The U.S. should pay every dead Canadian soldier's family a million dollars each, pay all medical expenses and a permanent stipend to those wounded, and offer an international apology to the Canadians for our Air Force's sheer stupidity.
When we start accidentally bombing allies, this billion dollar a day Keystone Kops routine has to end.
Our mission has failed and we need to shelve it until we have a Commander in Chief who has a higher than 91 point IQ, military leaders who can actually accomplish missions and diplomats who can successfully influence warring factions.