Tuesday, April 23, 2002

Show Bidness

Harrison Ford's pals are telling gossip queens like Ted Casablancas that Ford is head over heels in love with Calista Flockhart and the couple may marry.
I think they are a perfect match. He's an old, craggy geezer with a dimwit facial expression, and she's a bone skinny waif who shares the same vacuous facial expression.
I have never understood the appeal of either.
I like the Ally McBeal Show, but Calista reminds me of one of those women who could change personalities in an instant and claw your face off in a rage.
Harrison just seems like the type who would nod off in the middle of a conversation and awaken in a fugue state.

Robert Blake has pleaded not guilty in charges he killed his wife. What a surprise!
His attorneys said, "There is a killer somewhere out there, running free."
I think the killer running free must be at an L.A. Krispy Kreme, having coffee with Nicole Brown Simpson's killer running free.
Let's just hope the L.A. District Attorney puts prosecutors on the case who aren't as dumb as Marcia Clark and Chris Darden. And God forbid Judge Lance Ito gets his damp little hands on the case.
I hope they don't air this trial on TV. It'll last three times as long.

Linda Lovelace of "Deep Throat" fame died in a car accident on Monday at the age of 53.
After reading her book, "Ordeal" I always felt sorry for her.
Her first husband forced her to make the movie, and was said to be the one who taught her the technique that made her famous.
The movie made $600 million for the producers. Lovelace was not paid, but her husband made about $1,200 from her role.
May her first husband rest in the Yoko Ono Muzak section of hell.

Looks like the American Catholic cardinals got a Papal ass chewing at the Vatican yesterday. Though Pope JP couched his remarks in that quaint 1700s style, he did make his message clear: Screwing around with kids is no longer a sin, it's also a crime!
Seems like the cardinals in attendance are wanting Boston Cardinal Bernie Boy Toy Law to be fired, but that matter was not yet discussed at the summit meeting.
Bernie admitted to his colleagues, "If I hadn't made some terrible mistakes, we probably all wouldn't be here.''
He reportedly refused to resign, at a secret meeting at the Vatican last week.
My bet is he'll be fired and used as a sacrificial lamb by the Vatican to symbolize it's new zero tolerance policy. Or, maybe not.
Surprisingly, the pedophilia matter did not turn into a gay bashing extravaganza during the meeting. I guess enough of the cardinals are gay and they didn't want to add homophobia to their myriad other human flaws.

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