Zipdrive's Political Rundown
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It's high time I stop publishing adorable kitten pictures and get back to what I used to do: political snark.
So here is my rundown on the candidates we have remaining.
John McCainIt's really too bad America's sub-par educational system has produced so many IQs swimming in the shallow end of the pool. The NASCAR watching, gun owning, Jesus- loving set fell for the central casting-inspired Bush 43, and they are poised to vote for McCain and continue the madness.
Recently, some charges have been leveled at McCain, claiming he was sexually involved with a female lobbyist. While I thought it was refreshing that GOP McCain was not caught diddling an under-age boy, I was not surprised when I read about the lobbyist. McCain in his early adulthood was a handsome Navy pilot. At only 5'7", the little man was probably an avid cocksmith. With Viagra so plentiful and his trophy wife high on Percoset, is it any wonder he might screw around?
All that aside, his 100-year war statement and his new endorsement of waterboarding makes him Bush with a brain. No, thanks.
Barack ObamaHe's a little like Jesus, in that I like him, but his followers get too carried away in their youthful exhuberance for my taste.
I think TX State Rep. Kirk Watson summed it up the other night when he was on a talk show speaking about his support for Obama.
When Tim Russert asked him what he considered Obama's major accomplishments in the Senate, Watson went silent and the sound of chirping crickets filled the air.
I'll vote for Obama if he wins, but I'd vote for any Democrat over any Republican.
I still don't think Obama represents me as a middle-aged, white lesbian, but at least he won't come after me like the Bush crowd did.
I think he'd be a great new face for America, but I worry about him being assassinated. With all the guns and all the nuts on the right, he's a sitting duck.
And all his Kumbaya- Blowin' in the Wind-style speeches may have caught my fancy back in the 70's, but I'm a little too mature to be taken in by flowery words-especially borrowed ones.
To think he's above lobbyist influence and huge corporate donations is naive at best and gullible at worst. Give it a rest, Gen X'ers. Vote for him if you want, but don't fool yourself that he's somehow above it all. He's not.
Hillary ClintonWhen I attended the public memorial for the late Ann Richards, I was pleased to see Hillary sitting in the semi-circle on stage as a guest eulogist.
I was glad she was there to show her respects, but her habit of dropping the "g's" on words ending in "ing" was disconcerting. Clearly, she was pandering to a Texas audience and her attempt to sound Texassy was way off the fuckin' mark.
I wish I could say I'd love to have a beer with her, but I have a feeling we wouldn't mesh well as pals.
But as a candidate, I adore her.
She entered the Senate with obviously higher aspirations, yet she was said to be humble and hardworking as a newbie. She sought out the counsel of senior ranking Senators on both sides of the aisle, and even Sen. John McCain has said he likes her very much.
As a woman, she's had to hawk it up to appeal to misogynists who think a woman over 60 might one day start her period and push the red button.
It's unfortunate that she's had to pretend she was for Bush's invasion of Iraq, and even worse that she's refused to admit she made a huge mistake in believing the bogus reports BushCo provided the Senate to justify the invasion.
But she doesn't have that luxury, because she's a woman who has to seem tough on terror to appease the flag wavers among us.
With a Black man and a white woman in the race, I've been astounded to learn that America is far less racist and far more misogynistic than I thought it was.
These GenX Obama fans, especially the women, were born post Roe-v-Wade, post-Stonewall, post-Selma and post-everything women like Hillary, my sisters and me fought like hell in the streets for back in the 60's and 70's.
They don't see the wonder of electing a feminist president because they don't even remember that America failed to ratify the ERA. They don't even know what ERA stands for.
And yes, Hillary's probably a bitch. So? So am I.
Like that bastard Nixon, Hillary's inherent bitch persona would serve us well in global politics. Nobody should doubt that she would protect us with the ferocity of a Mama Lion.
America was far more prosperous and peaceful during the Bill Clinton era. By association, I believe Hillary stands for the same economic and diplomatic principles Bill had as president.
Obama is an unproven commodity. He gives thrilling speeches, but what else has he got? Inspiration is great, but is it enough?