Thursday, June 19, 2008

Oh, Hell



I went out at noon to run some errands and it already was in the high 90's. I figured I'd stop at the car wash since I already was out, and by the time I was done drying my car, I was drenched in sweat. Even my khaki shorts were damp, that's how bad it was.
It's been 100 or more degrees all week.
I hate it.
I think my brain is damaged from it.
It makes me antisocial.
I had an appointment to get my hair cut at noon but I cancelled it because I couldn't bear the thought of having hair trimmings down my back on the drive home.
MoveOn.org sent me e-mail about having a bake sale. Are they fucking kidding?
I saw Bush's picture in the paper and I became even angrier than usual, just imagining that reptile longing to be in Crawford, cutting brush in this horrible weather.
I actually had to buy a different brand of deodorant/anti-perspirant today. I'd blown through the old brand, and I can't take sweaty pits.
I'm so glad I don't have a girlfriend right now. The thought of trying to have physical contact, even hugging, in this weather makes me want to puke.
My house is air conditioned, but the idea that it's probably costing me a couple of bucks an hour makes me angry, which just makes me hot.
I'd go swimming, but the sun is so relentlessly bright, I'd get melanoma regardless of what sunscreen I wore.
When I answer the phone, the handset starts getting too hot and makes my ear sweat.
Plus, I'm peeing every 10 minutes because I'm hydrating so much to keep from dying.
Fuck moving to Canada for political reasons--I'm ready to move there just to cool off.
How's your weather?

27 comments:

bigsis said...

Sugar you're in Texas, what did you expect? Even the devil stays in DC during the summer.

kzipdrive said...

No, no, no, lil' cookie, this ain't just hot weather--this is the kind of hot weather that'll turn a black car gray.
This is the kind of weather where rapes go down 100% because it's too hot to chase anyone, much less fuck.
This is the kind of hot that makes you want to get your boobs removed just to cool off.

Dusty said...

Zippy..I got the MoveOn email too..after lmao for a few seconds I hit the junk button. Fackers..

ITs triple digits in the San Joaquin valley too. I just stay in the house with the swamp coolers running full fucking blast and get stoned more than usual.

If something needs to be done outside the house, thats what the ball and chain is for. I just let him take my car and suck up my gas. Better than going outside in this shit.

karenzipdrive said...

Sigh...I wish I had a partner I could send out in the heat to do my bidding, but then with most of the ones I've had, I'm the one who has to go do the horrible errands in bad weather.
It's 104 degrees right now.
Fuck!

Dusty said...

Ya got me by 10 degrees at this point..my condolences woman. We are evidently in a cooling phase if its only 94 this late in the afternoon.

I don't give a shit..anything over 90 is HOT!!!!!!

FranIAm said...

It is not that hot here, but it was blazing hot recently. But it is never Texas hot.

Shelley T said...

This kind of discussion makes me extra happy to be a New Englander. :-P

Mercedes said...

It's hot as Hades here also, and my electric was bad last month. Can't wait for this month's bill... NOT! So I'm going to fix it. House is on the market, and I'll be heading to Northern California where the weather has been in the 60s with nights in 40s.

karenzipdrive said...

Texas hot = India hot.
At least that's what a visiting Canuck friend once told me.

info said...

Move. To. New York.
Expensive yes - but it is money on trees for people who can write well and network.
K - call me - seriously.

karenzipdrive said...

Info, how can I call you when I don't know who you are?

In other news, I woke up this morning to 76 degrees and rain!!!
Rain!
:D

dguzman said...

Cherish that rain and those temps in the 70s, man! I remember those days in Dallas when it was still 105 at 6pm, and we'd have to go out and turn on the AC in the car, open all the doors to let the heat out, and then run back inside (soaking wet) to wait for the car to cool down. Texas IS hell.

I'm LOVING summer so far. We did have a freak heatwave for a few days where it got up to 95--but most days around here, if it gets to 80, everyone thinks it's a furnace. It cracks me up! AND they think it's humid when the barometer hits 60%--again, I laugh my ass off.

Lulu Maude said...

It's cloudy at about 70 here in Vermont. Keeps threatening thunderstorms, but they haven't shown today.

It can get really obnoxious here, esp. in July, but except for a couple of days a week or two ago, we've had an actual spring this year. Sometimes we go straight from mud season into summer, with only a brief period of tree flowering to show for spring.

I think that all of you with lots of sun should solarize! How does the solar business do down there??

Dusty said...

Its going to be over a hundred here today. At least the humidity is real low.

The weekend is calling for up to 113..in HELL-A.

Sucks to be there.

MJ said...

Currently 113 at mi casa here in the desert, but it's only noon. Weather report is calling for a high around 119... Wheee!

Dusty said...

That's right..MJ lives smack dab in the middle of the desert. Hi MJ!

I will quit whining now. ;p

MJ said...

Heya Dusty! Go ahead and whine, it helps pass the time till the sun goes down ;)

bigsis said...

Its so hot I decided its a good time to get a call to the IRS over with and sit and listen to their great classical music while I'm on hold for 20 mins.

Dusty said...

I got ya beat BigSis..I sat on hold with Social Security for over an hour..

And was 'disconnected' from my call. I had to call back. And was on hold for another 20 minutes.

I almost forgot wtf I was calling for when someone finally answered. I had to take a mood-altering medication during one point in the process.

Distributorcap said...

it is saturday (i have been too busy) -- and it is 80 and sunny and no humidity

i know the rest of the country is suffering -- but no complaints (right now) from the big apple

stay cool mi amiga

karenzipdrive said...

It's 81 today and that I can deal with. But then it's only 8:13 a.m.

Dusty said...

That's exactly the temp here!

The high today is expected to be: 109 for Hell-A: 113

karenzipdrive said...

Eighty-eight degrees at 9 p.m.
But low humidity, so it's nice.

Dusty said...

Its a hundred and fucking eight here.

I don't give a shit how low the humidity is..that heat is hot.

karenzipdrive said...

When I lived in L.A. back in the
70's, there was no A/C in any of the homes or apartments.
I imagine it's nice and snugly in the bottom of that basin by now.

Dusty said...

It's hotter than my valley today..if I am at 108, they have to be a 113.

kzip said...

My California relatives and friends still rave about L.A. as if it's not a sweltering Hellhole with traffic that makes any trip a long, gas-sucking ordeal.
I'm still paying $3.89 a gallon and I don't get stuck in traffic, ever.