Saturday, June 07, 2008

YeeHaw! Zipdrive's News Round-up



-Yeah, yeah, Barack Obama got his delegate quota and now he's our man in the race for the presidency. He's got my vote and I hope he can win.
Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton is giving a speech tonight where she'll throw her enthusiastic support behind Obama. Still, much of blogland is lining up to take turns pissing on her grave. Sore losers are bad, but sore winners are even worse so if you're one of the ones who pissed on her grave, I hope some of it splashed on your suede shoes.

-Ed McMahon has been in the news lately bemoaning the fact that the bank is fixin' to foreclose on his $6 million mansion. Is it just me or do others find it in poor taste to take one's financial issues public? Is he hoping some sympathetic millionaire will bail him out? A little dignity would do Ed and his sobbing trophy wife wonders.

-In Hartford, CT an old man was hit by a car as he tried to cross the street. Passing motorists and pedestrians ignored him as he laid crumpled on the street.
I've been to downtown Hartford and I think people avoided getting involved because they all had outstanding warrants. Connecticut may have a reputation for being a state filled with wealthy Martha Stewart types, but Hartford's just another urban ghetto filled with apathetic, hopeless people. Shame on those who did nothing to help that old man.

-Airlines have started charging $15 for even one checked bag, and now I hear at least one plans to start charging passengers by the pound. All it'll take is one fat judge or two fat jurors to make that class action suit pay off like a slot machine.

-With all the crane accidents happening lately in NYC, it's no shock to hear that the city's chief inspector has been arrested and charged with accepting bribes from crane companies. What a prick.

-Unemployment jumped to 5.5 percent last month, the biggest rise in 22 years. Bush is blaming it on all the new high school and college graduates glutting the market.
I'd ask if he's kidding us, but by now I'd be surprised if he said anything that made sense.

-Actress and celestial walk-in Anne Heche has been ordered to pay her ex-husband Coley Laffoon a lump sum of $275,000 and $3,700 a month in child support. Once when Big Sis and I were front row at an Ellen DeGeneres concert, Laffoon tromped on my foot while he was filming the show, so I can vouch for him being a klutz. But Heche is worse, pretending to be gay for publicity, then fucking Ellen's cameraman on the side. Though she described her ex as a deadbeat who watches porn all day, it's no surprise he got custody of the kid. Compared to her, he's the picture of stability.

-With all this celebrity baby news, you'd think conceiving a baby was a lot harder than merely getting drunk on Grey Goose and screwing.

-Can anyone tell me why Secretary of State Condaleezza Rice is still allowed to waste taxpayer money on traveling all over the world and parroting neo-con talking points? Someone from the GAO needs to put a foot down and ground that bitch.

-Having watched both series on Bravo, I can say with certainty that the Real Housewives of New York City kicked the Real Housewives of Orange County's asses.
And Stephanie should win this round of Top Chef.

Add your take on the news in the comments section. ;)

6 comments:

bigsis said...

Ed McMahon and his criminal buddy Dick Clark duped millions of senior citizens out of hundreds of millions of dollars with their Publishers F'ing Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, and now he wants a reprieve from karma? No deal Ed. Why don't you hold your greedy breath and wait for the Prize Patrol to bring you $6million to bail your old ass out.


George W Bush and his buck-toothed g'friend Condi don't mean dick to me anymore, so no comments there.

karenzipdrive said...

Our mom was a victim of sweepstakes abuse when she was in her 80's. They bilked about $12,000out of her.

Distributorcap said...

kz

Hillary gave a kick ass speech yesterday -- the best she has ever given and i think she hit a home run. i get humble -- she has redeemed herself in many ways in my eyes. they can piss on her all they want -- i think she really showed a lot of guts and class.

i think she will do what she can to help Obama --- even she knows the stakes are too high.

i walked by the building that the crane hit yesterday
you have no idea how bad it is -- they should all go to jail

as for condi, i need the weekend off

dguzman said...

Regarding your celeb baby news hit, I'm right there with ya. These breeders act like they've just found the cure for cancer or something! I enjoy coming up to people who are all gushy about their "miracle" and saying, "Hey--way to fuck!"

I too have been wondering why ANY of these criminals are still traveling--instead of being indicted.

karenzipdrive said...

The Bush criminals cannot be indicted until he's out of office- he'd just pardon them (and himself).

MBesterman said...

I couldn't agree with you more re Ed McMahon. He has always been pathetic -- he is even so much more so now. And good luck to him and that fake lottery of his. I wish him what he has given countless others.

And I just think Hillary was breathtaking.