Writing His Own Speeches Now
With his approval ratings circling the drain, George W. Bush has fired all his speech writers and decided from now on to write his own speeches and statements.
The crack investigative team at Pulp Friction has uncovered this draft of an all-purpose speech he intends to give during his international farewell tour.
My felow Americans:
I am visiting (insert there countrys name here) in order to insure my legicy legasy....place in history.
Its real hard hard work to be the presidency as you must of noticed by now.
With my fabulous team of secretarys like Big Time Dick Cheny, Condi Rice-a-Roni, Bobby "get er done" Gates, Mikey Mouthpiece Moocasey, and the fabulous Cherky Chertoff amongst others, we have all endeavored very hardly to provide the upmost servicing of our country.
Sure, we have been throwed alot of hardballs.
But what is important was to have the hand of Jesus Christ whispering in my ear for guidunce from the git go.
I guess history will judge my presidencie because right now most people including your peoples think the jurys are still out regarding my presidencie.
What you dont know is its been hard hard work to get the democrat congress to get along with the programs which I know is best for everyone in our country and the worlds country, too.
We are fighting the terrorists locally and a broad, which includes you. This is not a time for being chicken. We have all the bombs and bullets and fabulous militerry people to back up anything which I say must be done, that of course is told to me by my militerry leaders in the ground.
Thats why I think my predissesser John McCain will be a good stewardess for our future. As a once admiral who was a POW in Korea, he understands the fabulous job it takes to be a militerry and also too the bravry it take's to do it.
And so I tell you all, it is with the upmost important to stay the coarse with your alleys in America. We think your fabulous partners with a really good tasting cuisine to go with it.
And I leave you with this, God Bless America, and while hes at it, God Bless your'e America to.