Bush's July 15 Press Conference



As a service to Pulp Friction readers, here is the text of Bush's press conference, held earlier today.

My Felow Americans:

Alot of people is worried that the economic prospects of America is bad. But that's not true.
Folks are working, still employed, going to their job every day, drawing their paycheck, putting food in there tables and making there rent checks.
The Democrat Congress has not been gettin' the lead out and forthrightly pushing for economic progress that I have called for. Like alot of many things, the Democrat have been stalling because they hate American progress towards being a winner.
Another thing is banks. People is worried that there banks won't have there money if they might want to get at some of it. But, as my brother Neil will tell you, if you own a bank or a savings and loan and you goof up, the FDIC will bail you out.
So there you go.
But if you have more than $100,000 in a bank you might want to put the extra in another bank on account of the FDIC's limits on them placed there by the Democrat congress.
Banking is real sound and my administer has a good grip on economy banking tough decisions.
What we need is more trade. There is no reason why Columbia can't trade better with us. Those Columbos need our goods like coffee and other grocerys such as shoes and T-shirts and etceteram. Not to mention our fabulous cows and such.
Another thing is we can make alotta progress in our last remaining months as a president unless the Democrat Congress drags it feet and won't do nothing to further progress in such areas as economic, banks and trading.
Also I lifted the executive ban on offshore drilling because of high gas prices being too high. Now the congress must do like I say and lift there's, to. Because its really important to gas price raising, which as you know is gone on too high already.
My legacie will be judged by history but I want to be looked at right now as a guy who really tried to bring world peace and American economy that is good for all Americans and there people.
What I want everyone to do is put there heads to the grindstone and trust in America capitolism to make the things alot better in there prime.
And praying also too is important because Jesus Christ the Savior is an All American guy who really wants us to triumph over evil-doers and make our prosperity higher.
The serge is working really good to, so anyone who said it wasn't was what I call a no-sayer, or also called someone who looks at the good things and says no.
So say yes to progress and say yes to economy growth and say yes to prayer and say yes to the serge is working and do not do what Phil Gramm says and whining. He has a doctors degree in economical things so he knows what hes talking about whining. Which is never a good trate, traite, uhh habit to have.
When you whine the terrorists win.
And we want to stomp out them. And together we will, with Jesuses guide.

God Bless America and, you to.