Thursday, July 17, 2008

Project Runway Season 5

Big Sis Zipdrive and I are much more than just snippy political pundits. We also are harbingers of fashion, able to watch Bravo TV's Project Runway and summarize each episode with the same couture savvy as Nina Garcia, Michael Kors or Tim Gunn.
I offer this rare glimpse into our personal e-mail communications as a service to my readers:


That blonde chick with the dress made from bleached and dyed vacuum cleaner bags was off the chain, that dress looked so good.

But that creepy tanned geek with the diaper dress is just one more loser who'll hang around forever because, "he'll make good TV."
And that grunge chick with the garbage bag dress- was she kidding? I would have braided the bags and woven something rather than just cut holes in a damn bag and stick it on the model. She needed to go, but that geek with the tan's diaper dress was only 1% better.

The blue plastic cup dress was nice too, but so was that Erika Badhu yellow thing with the kale and cherry tomatoes on it. Watch out for that Korto chick- she's very shy and won't make eye contact. She might end up having some kind of breakdown on the show because I can tell already she won't be able to hang with all the faggoty stuff.
The black pretty boy won't last long, either. He's just there because he was a model too broke-ass to buy garments so he had to learn to sew.
Oh, and that chubby older Asian guy's mess with that white shower curtain with the blue hospital hat paper dress--GAG ME. Loved the yellow rubber gloves to go with it. Michael Kors' comments were classic. And even Heidi said it was butt ugly!!! HAHAHAHA!

This looks like it's gonna be a great season...
Auf Wiedersehen!

Big Sis Zipdrive Replies:

Okay, the uppity Asian guy who said the others were using trash and he throws trash away - the actual name wasn't mentioned but the action was. His get-up looked like the outfits Dexter wears when he's slaughtering someone. Tim said it first, but then at last Michael and Heidi finally said it looks like a murderer's outfit!! The yellow rubber gloves and the lavender Kleenex stuck to her body under that Picasso inspired "raincoat", come on Asian guy, wake up! HAHAHA

This bunch must not be very big fans of Runway because a real fan knows that Nina goes apeshit gleeful when someone uses fresh fruits/vegetables in their design. That's why Austin won the very first grocery store challenge. He made his dress of corn husks (altho he didn't know to keep the shucks damp and they sort of curled up over night). But still, the black chick had Nina hook line and sinker with the cut up tomatoes and scraps of lettuce.

Austin Scarlet, what can I say? I wish I knew him and he'd come and redesign our home inside. We love Austin the most.

I think the hottie that made the dress out of blue plastic cups stands a good chance because he thinks like a street person - anything laying around can be made into a design. Like once I saw a street guy with an egg crate bridging his forehead (like a gimme cap) tied with a little rope around his head to create a lovely shade hat. Hot guy thinks like that. And let's face it, that's what the show is all about. Oh, and if he would have put just one little extra thing, like a candy corsage or a baloney roll up belt, as a little extra on the dress, he would have won. The judges like the extra details.

The grungy fake blonde/tanned coke-head (he was sniffing in almost every single scene) is great tv. He's creepy and so drugged up it leaves the audience wondering how his creatively genius mind works. I'm thinking most of American must not have hung out with dopers because that's all he is. Nothing creative or innovative about him, he's just high. The outfit was from hell, especially the "diaper" thing that made Michael scrunch his face up.

The trash bag lady Cher-wannabe will last a while. She got her wake up call so maybe she'll kick in a little, but she won't last long because she's too far down the bag lady path to really be a mainstream designer. When grunge is out, she'll be too.

Other than that, I have no in-depth opinion yet about the other blandies on the show. But I know its going to be a great season!!!


Karen Zipdrive said...

Viewers Note: The uppity Asian guy who designed the murderer's costume out of a shower curtain and Kleenexes got kicked off. Auf Wiedersehen, you silly boy!

dguzman said...

WTF are you watching, man!? I'm glad I don't have TV!