Friday, February 05, 2010

The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin

Oh, golly, I know it's not very Christian to hate someone, but I just hate hate hate that total doodiehead Scott Brown because he's all style and no substance, such as I am. He's so darn shallow!
Firstly (I love that word, it sounds so darn intellectual) anyhoo, firstly Scott Brown is just as Johnny Hollywood as that dirty bird Levi Johnston.
To think he posed for Cosmopolitan (named for a drink those whores on Sex and the City drink by the gallon) buck nekid with his nasty hairs "down there" showing for all the world to see!
When Bristol showed the centerfold to me, I had to kneel and pray for his tarnished soul, I was so truely shocked!! It was nothing short of pornography!! I made Bristol kneel and pray too--God knows she knows how to get on her knees so it may as well be for The Lord.
Sure, it's great we got a new Republican in the senate, especially in that old communist liberal Teddy Kennedy's dead seat. But for gosh sakes alive, did they have to pick such a pretty boy?
And the way the base reacts to him is shameless!
He's all humble-like and tries to act like he thinks he knows what he's doing and such, and he's just eating up all the attention he's getting from other senators and the media and the internet is all abuzzed over Mister Prettyboy.
When I called him to congradulate his win, he acted like he was all busy and way too darned important to take my call--AND I COULD HAVE BEEN THE DARN VEE PEE FOR GODS SAKES!!! Then to make it worst, when the media asked him if he and I had met or spoken he said NO!!! God forbid he wants to share the limelight with a pretty gal from Alaska!!!
I hate that he uses his looks to get ahead. It's so darn shallow and its certainly not in keeping with the teachings of Our Lord Jesus Christ which tells us to be modest in dress, words and how we act in public--which certainly does not include stripping naked for the camera lenses!!!
I think he's another John Edwards, watch and see. Firstly, :) he has a chubby wife, which means he's a dirty cheater with all his high-style jet setter buddies who got him the election.
And being from Massachusets, even if he's a Republican you just know he's a closet liberal who loves abortion, nudity, homosexual agendas, no prayer in school, and tax tax taxing.
I hate him!!
Good thing I still have the teabaggers in my left pocket. They know from shinola, doggone it, and they arent about to fall for a pretty young thing like Scottie Boy, no sir-ree-bob!!! This weekend at the Teabag National Convention, Scottie won't be there because he's too darn fancy to hobnob with regular folks down south. But I will be there and they'll be yelling MY name and not his stupid name!!!
People are so darned stupid! Scottie Boy shows up in front of the cameras all dressed up and hair gelled and bats his eyes at the audience like he's some kind of darned movie star! He's such a show-off!
Oh I bet he is a movie star, come to think of it, I bet there's a filthy sex tape out there somewheres because once you pose naked, what's to stop you from getting in a dirty X rated movie for a couple more dollars??? And I bet his chubby wife wasn't his costar, either. It makes me want to puke is what it makes me.
Anyhoo, I just can't stand a publicity hungry pretty boy politician camera hog.
He truely makes me sick.


Karen Zipdrive said...

Ooopsie! I read over at Huffington Post that the Palins haven't payed a penny in taxes on two houses they have on some property they own about 100 miles from Wasilla.
These aren't camping cabins, they are 2-story homes with amenities like saunas.

Fran said...

*snort* You so funny Karen! Oh wait, this isn't YOU, you are printing Sarah's words for her, I get it now! :-)

That Scott Brown is exactly what his last name implies... a piece of crap.

Hah! Verification word: schill!

Lulu Maude said...

Not a real American, fer sher!

okjimm said...

Ha... a good friday funny!

/closet liberal /

I used to be a closet liberal.... and when I came out... nobody cared!!

word verification = centsl n. the amount of tax refund I get this year!

Fran said...

Well who'd a thunk Lil' Miss Sarah would do something unAmerikkkan like tax evasion?

No! When it happens in the upper echelon, they call it "an oversight". That's OK, she will just have the political action committee SarahPAC buy more of her books w donor money, so she can get the royalties.

She's sooooo mavericky, pit bully, and rogue-y all rolled into one x beauty queen package!

Let's see her wink & blink her way through the IRS Audit.

What a kick that would be if Ol' Sarah wound up giving all her book profits to the government in fines, fees, penalties & back taxes owed. Maybe then she would not have enough money to be going after Levi, her rogue not son-in-law, and let him have equal access to his own child.

Maybe Sarah is gonna be needin' that $100,000 tea party nation speaker fee, she publicly announced she would not be keeping... but "giving back to the cause"

Oh-- but this will play well w the teabaggers-- as they wave their *DON'T TREAD ON ME" flags-- Sarah will now be a victim of "too much government".... the IRS overstepping it's grips on a lil' old ex guvnah just putting up a few meager homesteads in America's last wilderness.

Yea well, they better inspect it closely, she is probably secretly drilling oil in the basement!

Karen Zipdrive said...

I just read an expose about the Tennessee cracker who started the tea bagging movement.
He's a has-been small town lawyer who siphons teabag donations into his wife's PayPal account.
He's also had lotsa tax problems.
No wonder Sarah likes him--two has-beens with tax evasion issues!

HelenWheels said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! This made my morning! I imagine princess Sarah stomping her PayLess shoe in indignation that someone else is stealing her game. Poor Sarah just never expected that another pretty politician might show up to steal the limelight.

Lulu Maude said...

Great piece today on Sarah the Grifter... now where did I read it?

Lulu Maude said...

Ahhh... here it is:

Karen Zipdrive said...

Well, of course she's a grifter- that's been my whole point.
So is that dick who's cashing in on gullible teabaggers who pay lots of good money to hear a bunch of cornball patriotic drivel.
John Edwards got off on fucking some goofy looking bimbo, while Palin gets off on symbolically fucking American voters.
Edward tore the labels off his Armani suits to look more like the average shlub. Palin probably sews phony designer labels *into* her clothes to seem better than she is.
They are bookends without the books.

nonnie9999 said...

has twitter expanded the number of characters you're allowed to use? oh, she must have said this on facebook.

i bet princess is all kindsa pissed off that someone else has the spotlight now. she's so yesterday's news. what will she do to get back in the limelight?

Fran said...

This is too funny I happened to use these words

She's sooooo mavericky, pit bully, and rogue-y

Then she does her Tea Party convention speech & asks how that hope-y change-y thing is working for Obama.

The bitch!

I guess it is easy to be an arm chair critic when you are quitter-y, and tax evader-y.

Distributorcap said...

i hear scott has a secret diary

Fran said...

Well, if Scott did not have a diary before, he will soon!!!

amusethemuse said...

And then there's Sarah's EZ Palm Pilot--no teleprompters for her! She elevates palm reading to new highs. Too bad her life line is really a laugh line.

"Energy", "Tax" "(Budget) Cuts" and "Lift American Spirits" are so hard to remember.

herisson said...