The Fundamental Things Apply

My girlfriend and I had a phone conversation last night about Archie and his Gang.
She'd read my blog and wanted to discuss the homoerotic aspects of Reggie and Moose.
I couldn't remember the name of the principal (Mr. Quimby) or the teacher (Miss Grundy, as I recall) but Zed came up with them immediately.
I love that about Zed, she's a fountain of information on virtually any topic, and she treats all topics with the same reverence for detail and accuracy.
Turns out she and I have a basic difference of opinion about which Archie girl we'd like to lay.
She likes Veronica because of her shiny blue hair and I like Betty because she seems emotionally more available, not to mention pretty damn hot.
Zed asked why I didn't consider Ethel and I said because she was a total horseface.
Then for a few minutes she tried to imply I was being shallow, but then she admitted she didn't get much of a charge from Ethel, either. In fact, she also admitted having a taste for Midge, who does nothing for me.
I think it's the name Midge. Is it short for midget, or what?
I try to be open to all creatures, but damn it, midgets make me nervous.
But I digress.
What I wanted to say was that I found a Canadian site:
http://www.track0.com/cc/articles/062700jughead.html
Check out Archie's ties to the evil NRA. Bwahahaha!