Why Me?

I don't visit porn sites on the web.
Oh, I looked at a few out of curiosity when I first got online years ago, but they don't interest me and their nasty little hidden cookies invite too much porn spam mail.
So why do I still get so much porn garbage in my e-mail?
Today's was about "naked chearleaders" (sic). Then there's the "girls with barnyard animals." Then there's the penis extending spam. The underage sex spam. Ugh, the list goes on.
It's sickening to witness the online array of not just porn, but pervert porn.
I'm just an ordinary, monogamous lesbian, trying to lead an uncomplicated life.
It never occurred to me to want to see pics of women getting freaky with chickens or goats, or whatever barnyard animals they use.
On HBO's "Real Sex" the other night, they had these two guys who do a sort of penis puppet show. They go on stage and actually do things with their penises and testicles to make them look like hamburgers, baby birds crying for worms, ad nauseam. How do you figure these two guys discovered their act? I shudder to think.
You'd think by now spam would have branched out to include websites we might actually want to see. If they'd come up with something like, "see really nice cheeseburger photos" or "check out my baby kitten pics," I might click them open and take a look.
But I am not clicking on "chicks with dicks," so I wish they'd stop bothering.