Monday, March 15, 2010

The Secret Diary of Sarah Palin

Golly gee, its been to long since I wrote in my diary but alot had happened and I thought I oughtta update my diary for the sake of posterior.
As usual, the left wing media really harpooned me and Bristol when we visited the Oscar swag room and help ourselfs to some free items. Hey, they were free, ya know? So what was the big deal if we grabbed some headphones and shoes and robes and CD's and DVD's n' stuff? The media said I took 40 pairs of fancy headphones but as usual they lied. I only took 32 pairs and Bristol took only 8 pairs, but we didn't do it for ourselfs, we have lots of people back home in Wasilla that expect us to bring them home souvineres when we come home. The media called us locusts but as usual they were wrong because locusts eat fabric n' stuff & we didn't eat anything like that!!!We did take a few boxes of energy bars but they were free so its not like we were stealing them, right?
Then I went to Florida and good gracious did I take down that liberal liar Allen Grayson. He tryed his best to insult me but he's so dumb he doesnt know that I've been insulted by the best of them and it rolls off me like water off a wet duck.
I think my speach there will cause people to deelect him and put in a real conservative instead.
The people seem to really like me and listen to all I have to say, like I am a kingmaker or queenmaker. Actually, I am sort of that, but, dear diary, you above all know I am much more than just that.
I can feel the excitement building and I'm pretty sure I have a shot at it in 2012 and by it I mean the presidency. See, the people want a down to earth, Christian person (man OR Woman!) who isn't fancy or puts on airs n' such.
And for foreign policy, they want someone who shoots first and asks questions later because this Obama come-by-ya, hopey changie business is making fools of us and leaves foreigners thinking we are not stronger than them--which we most definately ARE!!!
But as far as the details of forgeign policy goes, people dont want a lot of words- they want action so when I am president I will do what is needed without boring people with the whys and wherefores. A strong leader doesnt need to explain; if you vote her in its cuz you should trust her to lead! Which is something Obama has fail to do.And I mean FAILED MISERABBLY.
The first thing I'd do is tell France and Russia and them that the time for niceness is over and they better get in line, or else!
LOL! Todd told me the other night anybody who thinks a woman cant be tough has never met Sarah Palin!! And he's right ya know.
Okay I gotta go- Bristol just brought home some Taco Bell and American Idol is coming on soon which I can't miss!!
Tata for now!


nonnie9999 said...

i just posted this on your last post, but i'll repeat it here. melissa of writechic press asked me:

Is there a word for when you really don’t know much about the world, but you wanna make people think you do so that you’re electable, but you’re generally too confused and therefore anything can fly out of your mouth at any moment?

my answer was "palignorance". it's starting to catch on, and it's my new crusade to have it spread throughout the internets. you know, for the sake of posterior. ;o)

Karen Zipdrive said...

Sounds like a pretty good new word to me. I may have to start using it! Good job, Nonnie.

Lulu, the Dewey Dame said...

Always good to hear from Sarah, as long as she's on YOUR blog.

Distributorcap said...

the diary of sarah palin - about hiding in an attic in amsterdam - i bet she could see russia from there.