Friday, September 26, 2003

Survivor Recap

Yep, I called this one right. They booted Skinny Ryan (as they called him) off the show last night after he wimped out royally on the reward challenge. Why do we get to call skinny people skinny right to their faces when we can't call fat people fat unless it's behind their backs?
Anyway, the most interesting part of last night's show was uberbuff Osten whining about his disease, Whatif Syndrome. "Whatif I get pneumonia, whatif I get fluid in my lungs, whatif I stub my toe, whatif I get jock itch..." He's built like an Olympian god but he kvetches like a Jewish bubelah. He wants to go home because he's cold in just his man-panties and he 'might get sick.'
He actually asked his tribe members to vote him off. I say suck it up, clown. Apparently, so did his teammates.
So far, the horse to bet on is Rupert. He's one of those crazy guys who has probably had a lot of therapy so he can keep his seething, repressed rage under control. For a fat guy (don't tell him I said that) he's pretty active under the water, spearing enough fish to open a Long John Silver franchise.
When Shawn, the Jewish guy with the Irish first name, lost the prongs on Rupert's fishing spear in the middle of the ocean, I thought Rupert was going to pimp slap him. Instead he swam out and found the damn thing.
In an early poll, 56 percent said Rupert will be the ultimate winner. Burton and Sandra tied for second place, with a measly 8 percent each. All those buff Alpha dogs I thought I saw in Episode 1 have apparently gone Beta dog on us.
Let's hear it for the fat guy. Woof.

No comments: