Thursday, April 08, 2004


As we last viewed Survivor, delightfully skanky Jerri was jettisoned off the island rather than Amber, who was the sole remaining member of the Chapera tribe, which was stripped of all the other Chaperas and replaced with the four original Mogo Mogos.
Wait. Huh?
Okay, last week they all dropped their buffs, drew new ones and all the old Mogos became Chaperas and all the old Chaperas became Mogos, except for Amber, who got stuck with the old Mogos who are now Chaperas.
Boston Rob became so disheartened and forlorn without his woman, we could almost forgive the crooked little A he tattooed on his bicep in a classic prison font. He even cried genuine tears, which he wiped away with his manly thumbs.
So there we have Amber, sad without her man Boston Rob by her side, leaving her a virtual sitting duck when it came to Chapera nee Mogo Mogo's traditional loss in the immunity challenge.
Yet the other neo-Chaperas, including Lex, Kathy and Shii Ann were afraid to vote her off because they'd have to face the wrath of Boston Rob once they merged. Rob is Italian. Rob is from Boston. Rob loves Amber, wicked bad. He might have killed them if they voted off Amba.
Plus, as the redone tribes parted, Rob told Lex man to man that he'd take care of him if he took care of Amba. Kathy, with the ears of Rin Tin Tin, overheard it and called it, "Rob's Godfather move."
Apparently it worked.
Well, it also worked because Amber was so beloved by all of the original Chaperas, the original Mogos knew if Rob didn't kill them come merger time, the rest of the original Chaperas would pick them off, one by one.
So they voted off Jerri instead. Jerri had nobody who would come to her honor. She didn't have much honor to come to. Besides, nobody wanted to see her sensuously brushing her teeth again like she did when she first got to Chapera's comparatively luxurious digs. Eeeuwww.
So there we have it.
The new tribes consist of:
Mogo Mogo: Alicia, Big Tom, Rupert, Jenna and Boston Rob
Chapera: Lex, Kathy, Shii Ann and Amber
We know damn good and well it's time for a merge into one big tribe, so now it'll be every man for himself, except for Rob, who is for himself and Amber.
Previews suggest Rob overpromised too much to too many, and someone is confronting him over it.
We know Rupert and Big Tom would like to take Rob behind the woodshed, at least we think so, but who can understand what Tom is saying or what Rupert is trying to say in that weird, babytalk whine he gets going?
Anyway, someone's gotta go and I'm going to pick either Alicia or Kathy, just because I think it's too early for the men to start in on each other.

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