I Got Nothin'

I am supposed to be a bubbling fountain of wit right now, writing sensational comedy material.
So far, I have written this one thing about a local lawyer who calls himself "the tough, smart lawyer" in countless commercials scattered all over cable TV.
Other than that, all I can think of is how crazy some lesbians can be, how bad TV is and what lazy, fat bastards my cats are in cold weather.
I was at a party last night and this gay guy told a group of his pals how funny I was. They leaned forward, hoping to get a glimpse of that for themselves. I mumbled something decidedly unfunny, then ducked away as soon as I could.
Shit. Maybe I need a gimmick.
But right now, I got nuthin'.