Monday, February 21, 2005

The L Word

Last night, the second season of The L Word premiered and I happily watched an advance preview on a large screen with an auditorium full of lesbians at a local gay bar.
Sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign HRC and Showtime, they had tons of giveaway items to advance season two.
I came away with pockets full of L Word magnets, key chains, postcards and a poster, most of which I plan to use as chick bait.
The season two opener had some great and some stupid ass plot lines.

Alice and Dana heat up, while Dana's fiancee continues to grate on everyone's nerves.
Tina is treating Bette like shit for cheating on her. She deserves it.
Kit is being hotly pursued by drag king Ivan Aycock- that is until she barged in on Ivan preparing his/her toilette, eyeing his/her big, throbbing pink latex accessory on the counter top. Ivan got pissed and threw Kit out. Ruh ro.

Shane can't risk loving again, so she gets to fuck one gorgeous woman after another without strings attached. Sorry, but I can't feel any sympathy for the lucky dog.

Stupid Ass and Bad:
Tina is pregnant and hiding it under trench coats. First, how'd that happen, and second, trench coats in LA? Please.
Jenny needs to get her shit together. And she needs to decide on a fucking hairstyle and stop wearing full eye make-up 24/7.

Going, going, gone:
-Tim is leaving to teach in Ohio. As he threw a good-bye fuck to Jenny, it lasted all of 30 seconds.
I couldn't tell if he (a) lost interest (b) came like a rabbit (c) changed his mind or (d) quit due to lubricational malfunctioning.
-Marina was spirited away to her contessa mother's villa in Spain, after a haphazard suicide attempt, which in typical lesbian fashion, was described as (a) slit wrists in a fancy hotel suite while wearing a fabulous Dolce & Gabbana suit, man tailored, of course (b) a pill overdose in the same suite (c) a failed attempt to hurl herself off the balcony of the same suite (d) running her car into a tree (e) running her car off the Pacific Coast Highway.

Helena, the daughter of wealthy art collector Peggy Peabody, an impossibly privileged and strong willed woman who has taken over the family foundation. Yoo hoo, Tina? Need a new baby daddy?
Carmen, the edgy Deejay, who made her bones by shtupping Shane, who was on hand to coif the The Real Arianna Huffington, who did a quick cameo appearance.

Great line of the show: "Dykes are the new chic--fags are out."
Creepy line of the show: "But she's 50!" -in reference to the reason for Arianna's definite unfuckability. Ageist bitches.

Did anyone else watch the premiere? What did you think?

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