Thursday, August 04, 2005

Dumb and Dumbest

"Rafael Palmeiro is a friend. He testified in public and I believe him. He's the kind of person that's going to stand up in front of the klieg lights and say he didn't use steroids, and I believe him. Still do."
-- Resident George W. Bush

Gee, Palmiero was recently suspended for flunking a steroid drug test.
I guess Al Qaida must have snuck into Palmeiro's mansion one night while he was sleeping and flew a tiny airplane loaded with steroids into his ass.

Okay- with Bush thinking this way, is anyone still wondering whether he's completely stupid?


Dono said...

Oh, now I get it. Rafael Palmeiro is the Chimp's friend; therefore, he couldn't possibly have leaked the name of that CIA agent. I mean drained the Enron retirement fund. I mean taken steroids.

What a buffoon.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Right. And Rush Limbaugh was innocently taking what he thought were antacids but they turned out to be OxyContin. And I believe him.
And Noelle Bush was at Walgreen's one night at 2 a.m. trying to get her prescription for Allegra refilled. The pharmacist thought the A was a V and the llegra was alium.
And Neal Bush didn't loot that savings and loan or fuck those Asian hookers.
And the Bush twins aren't drunks, they have a sensitivity to ice cubes that makes them act drunk.
And I believe them.

JimBob said...

Big discussion over dinner with some friends last night. Many different viewpoints at the table and a good mixture of left and right wingers at the table.

There were only two things we could ALL agree on:

1. The '06 and '08 elections are going to be VERY messy (and thus fun to watch).

2. Rafael Palmeiro lied under oath.

There was, however, general disagreement on what Palmeiro's punishment should be. The right-wingers at the table tended toward a simple wrist-slapping.

I voted that he should have his glove hand chopped off and replaced with a hook.

CLD said...

They banned Pete Rose just for betting. Palmeiro lied and took steroids. He should be banned from baseball and brought up on perjury charges.

Karen Zipdrive said...

In all fairness, the steroids test he flunked occurred AFTER he testified.
He could have become the giant behemoth we saw testify with proper diet and exercise.
But if it's found he did perjure himself, Bush will have a new job for him as the Director of his newly created Department of Homeland Baseball.
The HoHB will help to distribute federal funds to needy MLB teams in the South.

JimBob said...

And if the Senate doesn't agree with the appointment, GWB can always appoint Palmeiro over the next recess...

Karen Zipdrive said...

If a guy with a bloodstream full of steroids can convince Bush he's not a steroid user, perhaps Palmeiro could replace Karl Rove as Bush's advisor once Rove is tried and convicted as a traitor.
Bush is always looking to hire the most qualified liars, and Palmiero has clearly shown the kind of colossal balls Bush looks for.
That alone is remarkable, in that steroid use shrinks a man's balls into the size of parakeet balls.