Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Creepy Celebrity Chat

Father's Day came early to the Late Show with David Letterman, where on Tuesday night new dad Tom Cruise gushed about his new daughter Suri – and his finacĂ©e Katie Holmes.

I don't recall Tom Cruise being so gushy. Ever since he jumped up and down on Oprah's couch, he seems to have cracked his public persona and allowed his extraterrestrial true self to emerge.

I used to like him okay as an actor, then I noticed his two front teeth are not centered. That became a visual distraction, which led me to notice he's about as tall as Gary Coleman.

By the time he told Matt Lauer that postpartum depression could be cured by exercise and vitamins, I'd lost all patience with him.

Scientology may think Cruise is a good frontman, but he is to Scientology as Osama bin Laden is to Islamism. The Scientologists ought to send out Kirstie Alley on their behalf-- at least she's got a sense of humor.

Seclusion a la Greta Garbo would be my best PR advice for the Cruise family.

13 comments:

larkohio said...

I think he is weird, and for someone who is clearly NOT a doctor, he is a terrible dispenser of medical advice.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I think he has little man's syndrome, combined with some wacky medical advice he got from a Scientologist chiropractor or some other kind of quack.

Lulu Maude said...

Did you see the South Park Scientology episode? Come out of the closet, Tom!

Trish said...

It's Kate Holmes, not Katie. I suspect Tom's lawyers will be contacting you soon for a retraction.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Why do you think Tom Cruise changed it to Kate, so she'd seem old enough to realize what she's was doing?
I think she should keep the name Katie and he should change his name to Tommy. The baby should be called "Unsuri."

dusty said...

Whats that asshat gonna do if Kate has a bad case of postpartum depression? And would we, the public even know about it?

OOOHHHH..the irony if she does get it:P not that I would wish it on her..just saying..

Karen Zipdrive said...

I don't believe Kate will be allowed to have PPD. They will reprogram her at the Celebrity Centre in L.A., so that she'll be able to experience the blissful wholeness of the post-gestational intergallactic process of adding new Beings to the Force.
I just hope the Beverly Hills Baby GAP has baby togs made from aluminum foil.

dusty said...

LMAO..touche' KZ. wouldn't it be platinum foil?

Karen Zipdrive said...

No, I think they use aluminum because it transmits the signals better.

BigSis said...

There's nothing genuine about Tom Cruise, not even his name.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Mapother is his real surname, but who ever heard of mapothering a gay bar?

Kiki, aka Esri said...

He really has gotten *so strange*.

And I wish you hadn't told me about his teeth.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Seriously, look at his smile. One of his two front teeth is smack dab in the center.
It's creepy.