Friday, May 12, 2006

He Can't Even Tell the Truth About a Goddamn Fish

Like everyone in America with an attached brain stem, I rolled my eyes in disgust when I heard that Bush said his fondest memory so far as president was the time he caught a seven and a half pound perch in his private, man-made, pre-stocked lake on his Crawford ranch.

I am not an angler, but my big brother Billy is an avid fisherman whose retirement home is on the banks of Lake Travis so he can indulge in his passion for fishing.
He knows all the species of fish in that lake, including their dispositions, bait appetites and their average size and weight. As a biologist and hydrologist, he takes fishing very seriously.
He catches perch all the time, and they are never larger than a couple of pounds, max.

Bush claims to have caught a seven and a half pound perch in his lake.
After some simple Google research, I learned the largest freshwater perch ever caught were a 4 pound, 3 ounce perch caught in New Jersey in 1865; a 3 pound, 12 ounce perch caught in Michigan in 1947; and a 3 pound, 8 ounce perch caught in New York in 1982.

That means that Bush's fondest memory of being president has not only been something as leisurely as fishing, but that he lied about the size of what he allegedly caught.

It's one thing to lie about WMD's in Iraq.
But to lie about something a second grader could research and verify as a falsehood is just grandiosity run amok.

Ergo, Bush's fondest memory of the his last five years as president of the United States is based on a blatant lie.

What a typical drunk. Lounging around and telling fish stories.
What an asshole.


Lulu Maude said...

Actually, it was a force-fed perch, and Secret Service agents took it from its feeding pen and hooked it directly to Dubya's line.

The Educated Eclectic said...

Bwa ha ha -

You know, though, regardless of the size of the fish, or the size of the lie, I think the most appalling thing is that this F-ing fish is the most F-ing memorable thing this asshole has done as prez?

Why is not the rest of the F-ing nation besides our small (relatively) blogosphere network, reacting to this ignorant comment?

Once again, regardless of the size of said "Peche"?


dusty said...

JESUS..he has to lie about the size of his fish?

Bet he lies about the size of his johnson too..

Karen Zipdrive said...

His johnson, as you put it, probably hasn't been functioning since the twins were born. That's why he makes war- it's vicarious fucking.

dusty said...

Breaking news..Leopold now states Krazy Karl has been served w/indictment as of Friday..only perjury and lying to investigators..same as Scooter correct?
whos gonna be busted for the freaking leak?

Karen Zipdrive said...

ONLY perjury and lying??
Perjury is a felony.
Mr. Fitzgerald cannot get to the truth as long as witnesses keep perjuring themselves- it is a very serious thing to be interfering with a grand jury's investigation.
They can't bust the leakers if the witnesses keep lying their asses off.
Maybe some prison time might soften them up.

dusty said...

I got some great photoshops of Krazy Karl in prison orange.:)

I fear they will never indict the leaker. They will fall on their swords an await a pardon.

Lulu Maude said...

Check out today's blog. Bush is going to come clean about the johnson...

MJ said...

According to other reports I've read about this fish-tale there are at least three plausable explanations:

1) Mistranslation. It was said during a German interview ergo English -> German -> back to English. "Barsch" can be bass, perch or pike in German. "Large Mouth Bass" is what the White House transcript reads (and we all know how accurate they are..)

2) Nile Perch. He has his pond stocked with the non-native exotic species called Nile Perch, which Texas is currently trying to ban. The record for a Nile Perch in Texas is 12 lbs, 1 oz.

3) He's a lying sack of shit.

I'll go with Famous Liars for $500 Alex.

Karen Zipdrive said...

In Texas, a perch is a perch.
Though I wouldn't put it past Bush to stock his lake with exotic species like the Nile perch, that ain't a Texas perch and it doesn't count.
I think he just lied his ass off.
It's his habit.